Beyond South Australia

election

2007-11-24T11:54:00.000+11:00

As you all know, today is the federal election. I voted on thursday with my good friends Cara and Steff.

When you think about it, whatever happens today, we get a new prime minister.

21 today

2007-11-21T13:00:00.000+11:00

"Are you really 21? I thought you were, 18!" - one of my mcdonalds co-workers

Last night I had a sleep over. Unfortunately, only Spatch came, but I didn't mind, because we had heaps of fun anyway.

We talked lots, watched a really bad movie, and really bad early morning tv.

And then this morning, she made me S-shaped pancakes.. with VEGEMITE!

and the day has just begun (ok it's 1pm, I'm still in my PJ's and waiting for my mum to arrive).

Sometimes I look at 21 as being "this is it", because now I'm just going to get old old. Not older but OLDER! But then, I think there is a beauty of being the baby of the group - I've watched my friends turn 21 and some 23 this year. My housemate will be 26 tomorrow. This gives me some hope that not only will I always have friends a bit older, but I've watched them have equally as much fun and sometimes equally as much immaturity.

Ah tonight shall be awesome! Stay tuned!

20/11/2006

2007-11-20T11:57:00.000+11:00

It is exactly one year today since my Grandpa passed away.

I still miss him so much. To think that at his funeral, an exact week after, I would be flying to Indonesia in a years time. To think that I am nowhere near the person I was standing next to that grave as I am today. But the one thing that hasn't changed is how much I miss him, and am glad about so many good genes of him I have.

Sometimes, just the thought of him makes me smile - thinking, "he was a good chap"

Eggnog, anybody?

2007-11-19T22:49:00.000+11:00

Today Cara and I ventured to Melbourne for almost only one purpose - to find Santa.

Mission successful, and Mez came too! Eggnog chickened out (you know who you are!)

kneebone flapping in the wind

2007-11-15T19:53:00.000+11:00

Today, before I even had started work. I slipped on some water on my way into the crew room and stacked it! I fell onto my back, hitting my knee foroucisly on a bench.

For the rest of my shift I felt incredibly sore - my lower back in a lot of pain and my knee in quite sore. There's definately going to be a bruise there.

When it first happened it hurt so much I couldn't walk. I was so scared I'd really done some damage and wouldnt be able to go to Indonesia!

At the start of my shift I was in unbarable pain, but it got better as the shift went on. However, it still hurts!

I also felt like I was going to throw up, but I think that's what happens when you live on processed food, most being mcdonalds all week. I gotta look after myself better.

Collosians 3:

22Servants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not only when their eyes are on you as pleasers of men, but in simplicity of purpose, with all your heart, because of your reverence for the Lord and as a sincere expression of your devotion to Him.

23Whatever may be your task, work at it heartily from the soul, as something done for the Lord and not for men,

24Knowing with all certainty that it is from the Lord and not from men that you will receive the inheritance which is your real reward. The One Whom you are actually serving is the Lord Christ - the Messiah.

2 weeks and counting.

2007-11-14T00:12:00.000+11:00

This time, in two weeks, I'll be flying somewhere between Jakarta and Makassar. That's a tad overwhelming thought.

This morning I got myself out of bed after the crazy, tiring, night that was, last night at McDonalds. Yawning, I made my way over to a school to help kids4life out with a breakfast program.

After that had finished, a few of us were in the staff room cleaning up. I was telling two of the girls there about how I was going to Indonesia. I heard a voice from behind say, "where abouts are you going?" Sitting behind me was a man with white hair.

I ended up sitting with this guy for a good half an hour talking about my trip. He even went and got an atlas. He said he travels to Indonesia nearly every year, and spends a lot of time in Makassar. This put to rest a few small fears of mine.

He told me about the setting of towns like Makassar: very poor, a lot of poverty around, some heart breaking stuff.

The thing I think that scares me the most about going to Indonesia, is coming home!

I remember in 2005 coming home feeling so unbelievably depressed about our higher living standard, and I know that I will be seeing things to a greater degree of poverty there.

I am coming home 4 days before christmas. This in itself freaks me out. My family really pride themselves in what they get each other at times. Presents become a real stress of christmas. But I don't want to come back to such commercialism! Ack!

I'm also really afraid of coming home and not caring about the things and people I used to care about before I left. I think I just need to motivate myself to get some accountability when I get home. There is no doubt that I will be even more passionate about changing the world than I used to be!

There's no doubt that this will change my life - it may break me too!

I can't believe I'm living the dream! Something that has been on my heart for 5 years - I am finally living it! I am going to Indonesia!

It's a lot of things. It's exciting, scary, overwhelming, and just plain "AAGH!"

And I'm sure it's just the beginning :)

washed clean and forgiven!

2007-11-12T23:29:00.000+11:00

Tonight I was called into work at McDonalds. Close. I hate close. With a passion! Luckily I found myself out by 10:45 which really was a record for me.

I was innocently in the wash up room washing the spinners that go in the shake and sundae machines, when I turn, to see one of the guys I work with, come in, and chuck two containers of water on me!

Now at first, I thought he was just being stupid, but at the same time I was thinking.. why would you do that!!? I began to laugh when his face just dropped and did a lot of "oh my God"ing, and apologising fifty million times, asking the manager if we had any spare shirts. But all I did was laugh and laugh and laugh in hysterics. I wasn't mad at all! Basically, usually he by default would chuck this water aimlessly into the washup room, but didn't know I was there. It's nobodies fault, we all end up going auto-pilot by this time of night.

I was saturated and he followed me around the restraunt a bit apologising, and I was not angry at all. I kept telling him that it really was fine, and that I was just amused by it. (In fact, I'm still laughing about it). He was really amazed at how un-angry and gracious I was about the whole ordeal.

Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
(Luke 6:37)

It made me think about how we often will chuck the water, so to speak on God. And although He is probably angry when we do it, when we don't seem to be genuinely concerned, or to not realise we do it, but I wonder if He laughs when we come to him in repentance, over and over again.

Maybe it is like the saying "one day we'll laugh about it"...

shut up and pray!

2007-11-11T16:37:00.000+11:00

And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment

(Phillippians 1:9)

Finally, brethren, pray for us, that the word of the Lord may run swiftly and be glorified, just as it is with you, and that we may be delivered from unreasonable and wicked men; for not all have faith.
(2 Thessalonians 3:1-2)

Some good points from John Bevere,

Discernment is not SUSPICION. (Suspicion being fear motivated, and fear isn't of God).
Discernment is CONCERN for others and their welfare. (it won't carry hidden agendas or critical spirits).
Love is crucially important when discerning. Love cast's out all fear and gives an atmosphere where discernment (not suspician) can flow.
Jesus confronted, but also loved. He confronted IN love.
If you are discerning - pray rather than gossip! (And know the true difference between gossip and concern!)
Check your motives (are you being ultra spiritual, or genuinely concerned?)

This was sure a wake up call for me. Really tested and challenged me! I have been guilty of trying to be ultra spiritual and suspicious on many occasions. I've been moved to use my discernment as a real thing to pray about (as it always should have been). ie, when an issue comes, just shutup (ie stop gossiping) and pray!

And yes, despite the man himself being in Melbourne, I didn't go to see him. This is merely adapted from his book, Victory in the Wilderness. (Pages 79-80)

What's in a name?

2007-11-10T21:46:00.000+11:00

When I was born, my parents could only agree on one thing. This one thingwas to give me the name Samantha. Of all the names they could agree on, I wonder why this was the one. I really don't like this name, but as I get older I am starting to appreciate it more and more.

When I was in Reception (and for those who don't know, that's what they call 'Prep' in South Australia), my teachers stumbled upon a problem. I was not the only Samantha in the class. There was indeed, another Samantha. Now this could easily be fixed by just calling me Samantha S, right? Wrong! Because we both had surnames starting with S!

So when we entered into grade one, the first day, the classroom teacher fixed the problem. After a quick discussion, I was renamed Sammy, and the other Samantha just became Sam.

Sammy comes with a lot of little cliche's added at the end. Sammy the snail, the sea gull, sea slug, sea snail.. you get the picture. Many of which I got throughout my life at school.

My last name is Smedley. Smedley, in old english, means "smooth clearing". In about year six I made my own name for myself, which was Smedles [Smed-ools]. I tried to be Smeds but soon my sister got that title, and it sticked to her better than it did me. I remember kids turning Smedles into snails. And in my early high school days getting the names Sammy Smelly and Sammy Shmell-bad. And I was up for these terrible last names, because when you wrote Smedley into Microsoft Word, and you would click spell check, it would say Smedley: Did you mean Smelly?

Later into VCE, I was called either Shammy my car (I found that one amusing), C-mos (a very long story - and for those who don't know, it's a clock battery in your computer), Sammy Airways, and also, by my IT teacher, I was dubbed Sammy-badger-badger.

Time went on, and I didn't really get many more names. But then suddenly, about a year ago (although it seems so much longer!) I met this girl, who appears has has also been given a few different names. In fact, she quite commonly goes by the name of a cooking instrument.

It all started one night talking nonsense about various food, and it has grown into something greater.

You see, this friend of mine, she really likes brussels sprouts. So one day, after school, I went down to the local fruit and veg place, and brought her a bag of brussel sprouts.

On this bag, I wrote "You will always be my brussels sprout, no matter where you are, even when you're out of season!"

And so there started the new thing. She turned into Sprout, and somehow I was dubbed the name, "Broccoli".

A few weeks later I went to do a bit of stuff for kids4life at a school. I didn't know one of the guys were there, but some how he thought my name was "Flick". It started a new thing. My friend that DID know me began to call me Flick too! Luckily it hasn't stuck too much.

But going back to this Sprout friend of mine, last night we were getting into a very bizarre in depth conversation. I don't even know how it started. But basically, my new name now is Grandma.

But then my question is this: how can I be Sprout's grandma, when I am 2 years younger than her? We were trying to mathematically work this out last night, and I guess what I want to ask, dear blogger, is it possible, to have a grandmother who is 2 years younger than you? I'm interested to hear your responses!

I just wonder what my next name will be!

blog some more...

2007-11-07T22:30:00.000+11:00

Most of you should know this already, as you should have got an email. If you didn't email, please talk to me, because I thought I had most of you on my contact list!

As of the 27th of November, through till the 21st of December, this blog will not be posted in. Instead, be directed over here.

Why not just post here you ask? Let me explain.

For one, I have forwarded my new blog to a lot of people, family members. The blog does not link to my profile or to my blog. I don't want that many people reading my blog, where people might become scared of my views or something. Link my parents to this blog? I don't think so!

The blog (as well as this one) is also unlisted on google for security reasons. That means no nasties can google me and find me and hunt me down or anything rediculous.

It's also easier than sending out bulk emails! Yay for blogs - the way of the future! Along with RSS, the way of the future. Thanks to Geoff (whom is the 'other half' of Bec) with this post, I've been converted to google reader - where hast thou been all my life??

So, lo and behold: TRAVELLING WITH SAMMY!

http://travel-with-sammy.blogspot.com

(in the meantime, please keep reading and commenting on this blog for the next 20 days :D)

God has ADD II

2007-11-04T00:01:00.000+11:00

Back in February I blogged about God has ADD. This post could almost be called Sammy has ADD.

Tonight, after work, I visited Mez's family (minus Mez). I left at about 10:30 (so I stayed for about 2 hours). Apon getting outside and walking to my car, I realised there was flashes of lightning. I paused and adored the lightning for a few seconds.. then I realised I was indeed standing alone in the middle of Kangaroo Flat. A big no-no.

So I got into my car, and began to drive and admire this beauty! I went from Kangaroo Flat, the back way through the forrest to Spring Gully, and then through the city to find higher land. I then found myself out at Eaglehawk, followed by Epsom, somehow Epsom turned into Huntly, then I got sleepy, and I kinda felt God telling me, have some common sense and lets go home! Huntly then turned into Epsom again, then Epsom went back into Junortoun, becoming Strathdale and finally, Flora Hill.

All throughout this journey, I saw planes (as in, supposedly jumbo jets going in and out of Melbourne): imagine the show they'd be getting!

It's funny, because last time, God was screaming, Look at me! This time, I was yelling, SHOW ME MORE! ... Who has ADD now?

Often the lightning wouldn't be in my view. On numerous occasions I went to look over my shoulder to check a blind spot or what not, and there I'd see a flash of lightning. Yep, God was trying to point out something to me.

(Psalm 139)
8 If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
9 If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.

It doesn't matter where you look. If you look over your shoulder, in the rear view mirror, or actually keep your eyes on the road - I am there!

I was listening to some beautiful, definately 'anointed' music. It didn't have words, it was just instrumental piano and violin (however I know the words anyway). In this time, chasing after the lightning, I started really getting into some of the questions that were on my heart in this post, which I wrote merely yesterday.

"I'm really trying to work out where it is I belong. You would think that after 3 years in Bendigo I would have worked it out... I am finding myself run around in the same circles. It's like this malicious cycle where I end up getting incredibly hurt... My heart is so broken. I need some sort of stability!" (my words yesterday)

I think God really laid on my heart what it is that I actually mean by stability. What am I basing my stability on? While it is fantastic to be stable in a church, and it is highly recommended, I do not think that anybody should just quit somewhere stable, God really put it out to me as to how much emphasis I put on "church" rather than God Himself!

Now, I could go on and on about the politics and my beliefs (what many would say are bizarre and out there) about church are, but I think that I will either bore you, or I will start a fight. But when will we stop turning to "the church" and start turning to God?

Why is it I so long to be having this official prayer doosy whats it for Indonesia? When it's not being up the front that's so important. It's the people who are actually praying!

Going back to the lightning. As I finally turned into my street, I pleaded with God, please, just one last flash of lightning? Please oh please oh please oh pleeeease!!!? But there in that, I really felt the Holy Spirit speak, saying it doesn't MATTER if there's no lightning. God is still as real and is as there - no matter what!

another one bites the dust...

2007-11-03T14:30:00.000+11:00

So here I was, innocently getting ready for work, when I noticed a small spider. It must have come from the clothes line area of my backyard!

It however is unlike any spider I have ever seen! It looked really tropical. It was about 1cm big, with a fluro green body, and a yellow like sack at the back.

I looked for my camera, but couldn't find it. I can't find it online.

Unfortunately, it was squashed by a tissue, as I didn't want it to dissapear into the rest of my
washing.

Lucky I'm not as scared of spiders as my sister. But now I have the eepedy geepedies that there are spiders all through what I'm wearing.. eek!

Here's a picture I drew of it. Does anyone know what kind of spider it is? Is it dangerous? It had fangs!

Victory in Victoria...

2007-11-02T21:47:00.000+11:00

Oh what a way to spend your Friday afternoon. Supervising a bunch of primary students while they bash each other with poles. Then somehow my name is Flick. How you get Flick out of Sammy I don't know. It was fun enough though! But probably lotsa more fun for the kids! Oh preps are so gorgeous when they bash each other! Ahem. Anyway!

I went to a meeting about Indonesia today. It's 23 days (thanks to Steff's groovy blog) until I leave. It's all scary and exciting. So much to do before then: get through exams, try and get some work, my 21st, along with scratching around for more money!

There is quite a bit on my mind really. I'm really trying to work out where it is I belong. You would think that after 3 years in Bendigo I would have worked it out. And while I acknowledge nowhere is perfect, I know that surely, there is a Sammy shaped hole out there somewhere!

I am finding myself run around in the same circles. It's like this malicious cycle where I end up getting incredibly hurt. I can't pin point exactly why though! Perhaps it's my nature of going through phases. I don't know. But I can tell you, I hate being unresilient. If I have a problem, I like to seek to resolve it. But the thing is.. I just don't know the answer to this one! There has to be one! But right now it seems there isn't one! My heart is so broken. I need some sort of stability! I'm so desperate to just cling onto someone who knows what they're doing! I want to kick this 'isolated' feeling!

mergh.

OK.

Let's turn this around...

Because there is hope! And I need to embrace the truth!

I've been reading a book by John Bevere called Victory in the Wilderness. It has given me a lot of hope about what I'm going through.

See, we're all going to go through times like what I'm going through (some similar circumstances, some not). And Jesus himself went through tough times.

Bevere talks about Jesus in the desert. How these 'desert times' are like character building places. We need these to be able to grow. And in the meantime, God doesn't give us "Abundance of stuff", but moreso, what we NEED.

ah It's a great book. Anyone can borrow it after me if they want!

choice

2007-11-01T17:22:00.000+11:00

Choices. I don't like choices.

I grew up in a town where the choice "McDonalds or KFC" didn't exist. I lived in a town where the you take the one and only choice or you go without. My lunch was usually planned out for me. Even when choosing whether I go to Murrayville (vic.) or Lameroo (SA) for high school, the decision was already made.

In my last three years at Bendigo, one of the hardest thing was adapting to having a choice. I had a choice of Coles, Safeway or IGA. I could buy home brand or black and gold. I had options of going to places like Ballarat and Melbourne. I had a choice of AOG, Victory, the Baptist, Short Street Church of Christ and more (3 years on I'm still struggling with this choice!). All this choice I had not previously encountered back in Pinnaroo, the one supermarket, three churched hole in South Australia!

But one thing I am thankful for is that I already had made a choice that in Bendigo, it didn't matter what I was studying, it be Arts or Education, I just wanted to do Indonesian. Even though it would have been nice to bludge through Arts, I am somewhat glad that I am in Education, as it is a clear pathway of what I am likely to be doing at the end of next year.

In the last three years, my path has been all set out for me. I sit through the core units, I progress towards an Indonesian major. Re-enrolling at the end of each year was a breeze!

But it is 2007, and I am coming to the end of my third year. Re-enrolling isn't so easy, because I have to make choices. I now have my Indonesian major. One would think that 8 units of Indonesian, plus the LOTE methodology I have to undertake next year would be enough.

But my choices don't look feasable. Info Tech doesn't look as good as it was going to. Art is about ceramics. Everything else is looking pretty.. blah.

So guess what I've gone and done. I've gone and enrolled myself in the Indonesian Reading Course. Like I said, isn't a major enough? Basically, I'm out of options. Nita was incredibly pleased (BTW, Steff, Nita is insistant that you join us ;) ), and showed me the book we will be studying. It is the size of the New Testament and is all in Indonesian.

But then I come to my next dilemma...

Because my methodology is only worth 10 credit points a semester, this leaves me 10 credit points down to actually get my degree. That means I need to pick up just one more subject somewhere.

And then I got an email about a course that's running over summer. It's basically a unit on ICT and Interactive Whiteboard stuff. I might do it during semester if I don't do it over summer.

So I am faced with this choice. Do I really want to do Indonesian next year? Do I do ICT over summer or bulk it over the second semester? Or do I ditch Indo and go my own way (as apposed to going with what my friends are doing and having that accountability/company) doing PE, special abilities, art, catholic ed, calculus or something crazy!

Choices. Bah! Anyone have some advice for me?

Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass. (Psalm 37:4-6)

shine like stars?

2007-10-31T21:13:00.000+11:00

I found this quote on the end of someone's MSN name. Sure made me think.

"...Cuz my Jesus would never be accepted in my church; the blood and dirt on his feet may stain the carpet..."

Think about it...

Song of the moment: Shine like Stars by True Worshippers

Look at the world we live today
Look at the hurting everywhere
Let us see mercy and Your grace
Overflowed in every place
Let us be one with You today
And let Your glory fall

We will shine
Shine like stars above
Shining in Your light
Guided by Your love
Let Your fire burn in us
Burning like the sun
As we glorify
And show Your kingdom come
In all the earth

Teach us to live in righteousness
Teach us to love in one accord
Guide us to live life everyday
As we worship in Your court
Let us declare Your majesty
and let your glory fall

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven. (Matt 5:16)

Clouds.. of the nerdy variety

2007-10-30T20:38:00.001+11:00

We all know I love clouds, but I have discovered the blogger tag cloud! If you scroll down, Isn't it pretty?

I wonder if those technologically minded people who can be bothered with fiddling around with HTML will have a go at it.

For those of us who aren't as technologically minded, there is this tool here to make something a little more simple.

Song of the moment: Dive by Steven Curtis Chapman

It's almost over!

2007-10-29T22:15:00.000+11:00

(Well, MSTIE is over! Yay! Now I just gotta sit through exams and I'm 75% a teacher!)

trains, busses, taxi's, trams and a wedding!

2007-10-27T21:39:00.000+10:00

This morning my alarm went off at 6:45. My alarm is pretty cool. It is Cara singing rise and shine, and give God the glory glory..

After snoozing the alarm for 5 minutes, I got up, had a shower, and got ready for a very long day. At about 8am I got in my car and drove my housemate and I down the station. We got on what was a very packed train. Once on the train this horrible feeling of Oh darnit I forgot my camera overcomes me. Dang!

The train only went as far as Sunbury, and after that I had to catch the bus the rest of the way to Southern Cross. Here started the organised chaos. There were well over 100 people trying to fit on busses, and people were running all over the place getting confused! Finally I got on a bus which went straight down the tollway and into spencer street. We made it in record time!

After briefly working out how to get to Doncaster, I waited for Turtle to get off her delayed train from Ballarat. It seems today is a good day for doing work on the train lines. After greeting her we took a sequence of trains and taxis and found ourselves out at Doncaster. Here we met with the wonderful Mel and Bray. Now the funny thing is, I have KNOWN Mel since about 2003, but I only just met her today! And man, it feels like I have known her for ages! I so wish that I could have met her so much sooner!

After lunch, we all went to the wedding together. The wedding was so incredibly beautiful. I was really struggling to fight back the tears. When I look at them I can't help but smile. I think I still couldnt stop smiling after I left Melbourne. In fact I'm still smiling! eeee!

The whole structure of the wedding was really different to anything I've seen before! And it was magnificent and so.. God honouring!

EEE I can't stop smiling! Guys, if you're reading this - :D

After the wedding Mel, Turtle, Bray and I went and hung out down on the beach for a while. But before we went to the beach we were travelling down the Eastern Freeway when Turtle and Mel point out this bus that reads Organ's Coaches Kyneton. In true South Australian tradition I got what was so funny half an hour later.

Turtle was snapping a photo of this bus when the people actually saw her. The people in the bus began to wave at us, and we waved back. This was going on, along with us three girls in hysterical laughter, they began to make faces at us! Finally we made a sign that said "Jesus loves you", but alas they were turning the corner so we dont think they saw it. But that was ok, because then whoever was driving behind us would see that nice little message! :D

After spending a bit of time at the coast, I caught a tram into the city to catch the bus/train back to Sunbury/Bendigo. I arrived into Spencer St, or should I say "Southern Cross" half an hour before my bus headed back to Sunbury. So I went and bought some half price pizza from DFO - potato and rosemary. Interesting!

I sat at the bus depot and ate my pizza as the crowd for Sunbury increased. After finishing my pizza we were informed that there would be a delay of 5 minutes because one of the busses had broken down. People were really angry and were swearing and getting really angry at the staff. I kept myself calm by talking to random people, usually elderly people. 20 minutes later, the bus arrives, and there are people pushing to get on. It reminded me of the day I quit barracking for the Adelaide crows (long story). I suddenly became pushed between people and was getting squished because everybody was so angry and eager to get to Sunbury. As we left the bus depot, we saw a man waving his finger at the staff.

Somewhere between Melbourne and Sunbury I saw the Organs bus again. Very funny stuff!

We got into Sunbury and got I straight on the train. We sat there for a good half hour waiting for another bus to arrive. Finally, at the time we were supposed to arrive in Bendigo, we left Sunbury. As the train pulled out of the station, the whole carraige cheered.

When the conducter came out to collect our tickets, we learnt that we were waiting there for 10 minutes for an invisible bus - ie, it didn't exist!

Everybody was so angry. Perhaps I didn't care because I had all day. But the thing that annoys me the most is when people complain like this, when pathetic places such as South Australia don't have the luxary of a train that leaves every hour to the capital city! In fact, from Pinnaroo, you can't even go for a day trip in Adelaide using public transport.

And with that, dare I say it, I think I'm turning into a Melbourne girl (as opposed to Adelaide). I even think that I'm starting to loose the intentionalised habit of speaking with a toffi accent. I think I'm turning... dare I say it... VICTORIAN!

But all in all, I don't think I really cared about the 'hate' going on at the station. I was too busy smiling still :)

overwhelmed?

2007-10-25T19:51:00.000+10:00

So here I am sitting here and finally the reality hits me that there is only one day of this rediculous practicum to go. Part of me is joyous and can't wait until I'm free as of monday afternoon (exams - such a release!), but part of me feels a little sad.

Although I have spent a majority of this prac complaining, and hating every minute, I will actually miss it. It gets to this point of the prac where I begin to evaluate how I've been - I'm not exactly happy.

So after exams, I turn 21 and head over to Indonesia. And suddenly everything becomes overwhelming as I enter into my fourth year. Where have the years gone?

I have a few friends that are actually finishing their university degree this year. Imagine how overwhelmed they must feel.

heavens in the backseat of the cinema

2007-10-24T21:23:00.001+10:00

On my recent trip to South Australia, due to conditions mostly out of control, I went and saw a really awful movie. Now when I say an awful movie, I don't mean, like, Neighbours-bad-acting type movie, I actually mean a really, bad, typical extreme american sex-phased movie. I spent a lot of the time looking at the ceiling and asking God to help me get through the movie. I think I spent a lot of time also just praying for the people watching as well.

As we were leaving, I was in the back seat of my friends car. Her and my other friend were in the front saying how awesome they thought this movie was. I kind of just sat with no comment.

As we drove out of the cinema and headed back towards the Eastern Adelaide Suburbs, I couldn't help but notice this trashy 70's song that was on the radio.

"Heaven's in the back seat of my Cadillac, let me take you there - yeah yeah"

Despite knowing the real meaning of this song.. There I was, in the back seat, and all I wanted to do was cry out to the God of heaven!

We are called to be ambassadors of heaven. We are called to pray without ceasing. That means in everything we do, no matter how crazy, we should pray! On earth as it is in where? That's right - HEAVEN! :D

It was such a quirky, exciting, maybe even uplifting part of the whole night!

We, as human beings have choices not to go some places. I could have said, look, I don't want to see this movie, in fact, I probably should have. But when you're in situations - in the 'back seat', don't forget that heaven's with you - and that's powerful!

(eeep I'm getting cheesy!)

Shopping in Sedgwick

2007-10-24T21:07:00.000+10:00

Today I went shoe shopping. Some retail therapy was in order. Then, at 5:30, I was booted out of rivers and found that alas all other shops were also closed.

My stomach was telling me that tea should be ready within the next two hours. Because I couldnt be bothered defrosting mince, I went to buy my own.

I was driving home when instead of taking a left, I kept going straight. Straight down Carpenter St, straight down Spring Gully Rd. I didn't know where I was going, I just kept driving. I just wanted to drive drive drive! I think I needed to think think think and pray pray pray too.

Where was I going? I was going shopping in Sedgwick.

However, upon my arrival in Sedgwick, I came to realise that there was not even a shop in Sedgwick to buy mince. There wasn't even one in Mandurang. There was a little general storey-thing but it looked closed.

So I kept driving, bypassing the suburbs, almost hitting an Echidna, to Strathfieldsaye, which is a busy little place. It was there that I bought some Lemon Lime and Bitters, and some mince off a freaky butcher dude.

Sometimes, I guess I just need to drive.. to places that are more isolated even moreso than Pinnaroo...

The conclusion, or the point of this story: there isn't one. I just hope you enjoyed hearing about my afternoon, 'shopping' in Sedgwick!

Countdown...

2007-10-21T16:30:00.000+10:00

So today it is exactly a month until I am off my P's again. How exciting it is to be counting down again, and I haven't even broken the law! That will mean I will be a fully licenced Victorian licence holder! And due to the harsh Victorian drivers laws, I should be able to do much more and have more freedom! I'll be able to teach L platers! The question though is, do I WANT to teach them?? :P

Funnily enough, I turn 21 on that same day.

I'm having a bit of trouble though, what should I do for my 21st? At the moment I'm thinking of having it in a park. My dillemma though is which day to have it on, because not every day suits people. Eep!

And in the topic of count downs.. It is one month and 6 days until I fly to Indonesia! I'm so scared and excited all at once! I'm so glad Steff is coming with me :)

[Image from: a Public Domain Image a Day]

a post about prac

2007-10-20T18:30:00.000+10:00

Well. For those who don't know I've been on prac for two weeks now. I'm at a school in the same suburb I work with 5/6's, which has prooved to be incredibly interesting. If you know me, I'm more of a lower primary person.

Now this prac is different to most others. The first thing you will notice is I'm doing it incredibly late. The second is you wont see me doing as much outside work for it. The third is I'm doing it with a friend of mine. The fourth, I seem to be only teaching maths and science!

And am I enjoying it? No!

In fact, when the lecturer came out to see us the other day, I yelled at him!

Why don't I like this prac? Well, it's not because I have 5/6. It's moreso the point that next year I will be entering the fourth year of my course. I really need to learn how to be independant, and I can't be, because us student teachers are 'relying' on each other. It's difficult to teach in this way, because we are both two completely different teaching styles.

What's worse, is the kids pick and choose which one they like better. Because I'm not as cool and don't seem to relate as much, I'm not the favorite. But alas I am not there to be their friend, I am there to teach them!

I know that sounds harsh, and I know that the girl I told I didn't care about what she was doing on the weekend would agree (thanks for the 'strategy' Turtle ;)). I've discovered it's really about balance. I'm not there to make their happy lives miserable, but there needs to be a point that 'friendship' is not interrupting class time.

The issue also with working with pairs is, it doesn't matter how much you try to avoid it, someone always ends up doing more work. And unforunately, it seems I havent done a lot. I'm thankful that this prac hasn't ruined my friendship with the person I'm working with.

All in all, the prac is a good idea. You create a unit of work, you teach it. You become more familiar with the science side of things (an ever important topic in schools). Just not at this stage, in third year. I feel like I have taken a step backwards.

Given the circumstances, this could have been a good prac if it was 'normal'.

So to my friends up at La Trobe: What were you thinking?

Dear anonymous

2007-10-18T21:40:00.000+10:00

I don't know who you are
For all I know, because of my silly memory, perhaps you're not real.
But if you are, and you read my blog, and you know what this is about..
It really confuses as to why you're so generous.. but thanks. God Bless You :)

(If this makes absolutely no sense to you, then don't worry, it has nothing to do with you probably :P)

little bit o love

2007-10-14T16:29:00.000+10:00

This is the way you left me

I'm not pretending
No hope, no love, no glory
No happy ending
This is the way that we love
like it's forever
then live the rest of our life
but not together

Mika - "Happy Ending"

There is a real danger in secular (and sometimes, not-so-secular) music. I believe that people underestimate the power that music can have in ones life. I believe that many christians don't have an understanding that it can open up doors for the enemy to come and rob you of the abundance of life God has planned for you!

Resist the devil and he will flee from you. (James 4:7)

Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. (1 peter 5:8)

Although I know this all too very well, somehow this song kinda represented how I was feeling (don't start assuming because you're probably way off - hence the 'somehow'). The problem with this kind of music is that while it does some how express how you feel, dwelling on this song, singing it, does not help the situation. In fact, it magnifies how bad I'm feeling, rather than magnifying an awesome powerful creator who is above every situation and circumstance no matter what I'm feeling! Because I KNOW that whatever I go through, God is still awesome and alive and real, and no less worthy of my praise!

16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 19 Do not quench the Spirit. 20 Do not despise prophecies. 21 Test all things; hold fast what is good. 22 Abstain from every form of evil. (1 Thess. 5)

So here I am, feeling utterly like rubbish singing this song in my car, by the lake, and it gets to the emotional keychange and it suddenly starts pouring down with rain. At this stage I am fully crying about this whole horrible situation, the heavy rain pitter pattering and the 'intense' part of the song makes it all oh so much more real.

Suddenly, I see the rain ease, and out from my car, I see this:

12 And God said: “This is the sign of the covenant which I make between Me and you, and every living creature that is with you, for perpetual generations: 13 I set My rainbow in the cloud, and it shall be for the sign of the covenant between Me and the earth. 14 It shall be, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the rainbow shall be seen in the cloud; (Genesis 9)

A rainbow!!! You know what that symbolises, right? That God will keep His promises! A timely reminder that God won't leave me stuck in this situation! That my God is a God of power! Sometimes I can't see the result, but He's the Alpha and Omega!

So then, after that, I turned the song into a parody of God and How great He is!

Maybe one day I'll blog about music properly. Maybe...
And maybe, maybe one day, I will blog a parody :P

the key

2007-10-10T22:40:00.001+10:00

(You can do it! Education)

Organisation
And you, my child, will be called a prophet of the Most High; for you will go on before the Lord to prepare the way for him (Luke 1:76)

Persistence
Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it (1 Cor. 9:24)

Getting Along
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. (John 13:34)

Confidence
So we may boldly say: “ The LORD is my helper, I will not fear. What can man do to me?” (Hebrews 13:6)

Resilience
But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary in doing good. (2 Thes 3:13)

If one cannot get this right in their own life, how can they encourage students to do the same?

I guess the best part of this is, despite anything,

"You can do it!"

But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth (Acts 1:8)

one for all

2007-10-04T16:00:00.000+10:00

I have uninentionally stumbled accross the following verse twice in 24 hours. One would get the feeling God is trying to say something.

Luke 12
54 Then He also said to the multitudes, “Whenever you see a cloud rising out of the west, immediately you say, ‘A shower is coming’; and so it is. 55 And when you see the south wind blow, you say, ‘There will be hot weather’; and there is. 56 Hypocrites! You can discern the face of the sky and of the earth, but how is it you do not discern this time?

This got me thinking. Although there are people who are certainly 'gifted' discerners, it appears that Jesus has commanded everybody to be discerners to an extent. For each of us to use our brains!

It's just like the passage says. We're so quick to judge and work out what is going on in the world, the newest fashion, the breaking news, and it's impact, but we're not discerning what's going on in the church today or kingdom-wise at 'this time'.

Interesting.

bring back, bring back, bring back Georgie to me, TO ME!

2007-10-04T15:35:00.000+10:00

A few weeks ago, I was watching my favorite TV show, All Saints (the old series). It was an intense episode of a bomb going off in the hospital.

The episode ended on a total cliff hanger at the end of the week.

What, NO! I can't wait until monday! And plus, I'm going to Pinnaroo! They don't get channel 7, or Prime!

But ever a clever thinker, I set the video player for every day the next week.

After having an All Saints-less week, I came home to Bendigo, to sit down and take some
time out with my friends Terri, Mitch and Von. I pressed play only to find no trace of All Saints! All I could find was some weird science show. Noooooooo! And according to the tv guide, it wasnt coming back any time soon!

After much sadness, I finally got over it. However today, talking with my friend Elizabeth, it turns out that All Saints was just taking a break over the school holidays. Of course!

However, on the flipside to that, I begin a 3 week placement next week, so I will not be home to watch it, but I am ever so happy to have a housemate with a video player!

little outside delights

2007-10-02T11:22:00.000+10:00

I have been for a 4.6 km powerwalk, had a creative breakfast, and am currently sitting in the back yard with listening to Life FM with my brand spanking new wireless internet!

I feel so. eee. happy! Content!

It's true, walking is good for the soul, and all of that vitamin D mustve done me good!
:D

I could stay like this all day, but alas, MSTIE awaits!

warning signs

2007-09-28T23:45:00.000+10:00

Today I witnessed somebody talking about depression like they realy knew what they were on about, almost like they were diagnosing the person to not have it - like they were making it up.

This really made me angry. Depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues arent a joke. Just like typhoid fever, they are a sickness. Like when we get sick with anything, we need to take appropriate measures to get better. Sometimes these measures seem extreme, sometimes they don't. But nonetheless, if these things are left untreated, the symptoms can get worse, and can lead to some very unpleasant experiences.

I don't care if you suspect your friend is faking it, it's a real and an issue that needs to be dealt with. There is help from trained professionals. If you're not a doctor then don't diagnose! Rather than talk about them "faking it" behind their back, support them and do something about it!

I dont know about the greater Bendigo population, but here in Pinnaroo, I constantly hear this behind-the-back carry on of "such and such thinks they have depression but they're just faking it to get attention".

And to the "just pray about it" response: Prayer is a great thing, but faith without works is dead. God gave us a brain, we need to take action and do something! Even though medication often seems extreme, I've seen it save peoples lives. Like I said, these things (when are ongoing) are sicknesses, and they need to be dealt with. If you were diagnosed tomorrow with Leukemia, would you refuse the treatment?

Does anyone get what I'm on about? Does anyone see the cry of my heart that christians are fed this lie that if they are suffering an illness to the point of medication or consultation, that they lack faith, or become a second class christian? Anyone!?

Stop speaking lies over people and start declaring the truth!

the list

2007-09-27T10:01:00.000+10:00

I found an interesting list when I was looking for a notebook this morning. It was written probably in 2001, when I would have been in year 9, when "career advice" is being fed down your throat.

"Careers"
Flight attendant
pilot
female priest
park ranger youth worker/councilor
photographer
website designer
worker for World Vision in East Timor
Carer
Air Force
Cartoonist/Animator
Horticulturalist
Assistant Nurse
Accountant
Own my own airline: "Sammy Airways"
Army
Chiropractor
Post Office worker
writer
a DJ
Tour Guide

Does anyone else find it interesting that with all this diversity of jobs, teacher was not on the list? One thing I guess is important to note was this list would have been made before I went to Indonesia.

Something else that struck me (I assume I did this in 2004 - year 12) is that I crossed out everything and wrote "whatever God wants me to do!"

Now this strikes me with a question: How much control do we really have over our career choice? I believe that while we are quite capable of making our choices (whether they be good or bad according to the driving motivation) God opens and closes doors of opportunities.

Thinking about my career so far, I watched God open doors I thought would be padlocked. He allowed me to move all the way to Bendigo, and get me into a course my enter simply didn't 'benchmark'. Then the opportunity to go to Indonesia came up. Wow. How did that happen?

When we commit our ways to God, He will "make the path straight". That is an actual surrendering of our lives and our ambitions. The thing with straight paths though, as simple as that sounds, once you get past the surrender, and have the straight path, there are still distractions, there can still be things in front of you that you need to face! But aha, never fear, God is here! (and so come forth the cheesiness)

The other day I went for a walk. It's like my house mate continuously tells me, "walking is good for the soul". I was in a bit of a dilemma. I had to make a choice about the Indonesia trip really fast. There were voices all around me, some concerned for me telling me to stay, some eagerly pulling me by my shirt pleading with me to come.

As I walked on that sunny day down Sommerville St, praying about this matter, I felt God placing on my heart something that happened when I went in 2002.

Last time I went, I didn't really want to go. But while I was over there, I was absolutely heartbroken with the poverty and crazy things I saw. I was hurting for a hurting nation.

While I was walking, I felt God kind of talking to me about the orphanage. (I was actually unsure at the time whether we were actually going to an orphanage or not. Later clarification with Steff assured me that, yes, we are going to an orphanage.) I felt like God was really just like, "I hate to break it to you, but this is gonna break your heart."

Often God can use heartbreak as a motivating force to change our world. This motivating heartbreak I felt back in 2002 will be renewed when I go Indonesia. Just seeing the way these people live, you think, "how am I so darn lucky?" It's a bit like this I suppose. It's exciting, but it's also very scary. (I want to be heartbroken and motivated over my homework hehe)

Indonesia isn't the only thing I have heartbreak for. I have a massive ache for the children in this country (well, ok, even the world) and the things they go through. The things I experience on pracs is often a driving force to do something big in my community!

Back on track (pardon the pun), straight may not always mean logical. Straight may cost you something. Straight often seems crooked (but just remember who has the Perception). Life isn't just a highway you can ride all night long, as Mr. Tom Petty says. Jesus said go through the Narrow gate.. Why would you go through a narrow gate when it seems logical to keep following through on the freeway?

Quite honestly, I think it's still early days in my 'career'.

Seek out God's Will, it's beyond your wildest dreams!

turn back time

2007-09-23T22:30:00.000+10:00

After Sammy got lost in White Hills (honestly, how hard is it to just follow a darn tram line?) she finally wades her way through 3 suburbs to the Calder Highway, that leads her home.

Thanks to the nice lady at the Charlton roadhouse for shouting me a coffee, and some very uplifting music, Sammy perseveres a long 5 hours, makes it toward the finish line with a count down,

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WELCOME TO SOUTH AUSTRALIA!"

Pushing through the fruit fly inspection point, delighted by the sight of many Stobie Poles, she crosses into the town named after limestone, more commonly known as Pinnaroo.

She then enjoys a welcome home feast of fruchocs and fritz, with a nice serving of Farmers Union Iced Coffee.*

(* - Mum didnt have any fruchocs, nor did she have fritz, not even a Farmers Union. So we had kids4life fundraising chocolate and a sweet chilli stir fry, along with Angrusta Lemon Lime and Bitters)

I got the power!

2007-09-22T19:50:00.000+10:00

Spatch... You're going down!

(Who woulda thought.. a Port and Geelong grand final.. I almost feel sorry for you)

anybody out there..?

2007-09-20T17:17:00.001+10:00

What's with this!?

I am so anxious to go home. Today I delayed my travel home by one more day. I initially was going to leave yesterday afternoon. I am now not leaving until sunday morning.

Why is it that I don't want to go home? Why is it that Bendigo means so much - that if I go away for a week something big is going to happen and I'll miss it? Why dont I want to just go home, far far away, especially when I am spending every waking moment here in Bendigo wanting to get out?

And November - how will I survive then..?

What am I - Let's face it - I'm nor Victorian nor South Australian.. Where do I belong, exactly?

Gah, I hate insecurity!

another shade of blue

2007-09-17T23:31:00.001+10:00

After a hard day of uni, I decided to come home and paint a canvas blue in recognition of how I was feeling.

For those who know art, in Picasso's life, he went through many different phases. He went through a Rose Period, where he was in love and everything was utterly wonderful for him. But with that came a Blue Period, after the suicide of a close friend. His artwork during these times depicts his feelings.

Everybody goes through good and bad phases. Sometimes these last for an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year, sometimes even years!

Almost like Picasso, David went through a lot of different things in the bible. You can read about it in Psalms. However, there was a big noticable difference between David and Picasso. Even when David felt like utter rubbish, he still looked to God. Even when he felt abandoned, he cried out, "God, where are you!?"

Back to my painting, as I was painting this canvas blue, I was thinking about what I could paint. What is one of my most favorite things? Clouds!

Hang on, the sky is blue, and I like the sky. I love clouds! Now how does that work for a 'blue period'..? Because they make me so happy!

So blue isn't a bad colour after all!

puisi

2007-09-17T22:36:00.000+10:00

For my next Indonesian assignment, I have been asked to write a poem.

Last year I wrote this poem:

Here I am.

I am lying.

Alone.

Wounded.

Bleeding.

This pain I cannot take.

I try to walk.

I stumble.

I fall to the ground.

I burst into tears.

The tears soak me.

Soak the ground on which I sit.

It was then that I looked up, and saw Him.

I looked into His eyes – and I knew.

I knew He understood.

He understood every emotion and pain.

Tears filled His eyes with compassion as He looked into mine.

His body – marred with scars.

His two hands and feet restricted to the nails on the cross.

Who is this man?

This man,

with such a pained,

yet,

compassionate

look in His face

for me?

At that moment He cries out into the heavens

…and dies.

Despair and loss fills my heart.

I long to see that look in His eyes once more.

But it is finished.

And only now do I realise…

MY SINS PUT HIM THERE

The pain this man was going through was MY pain.

He understood.

I run my hands along the cross that this man was crucified on.

I cry.

For I know it is finished.

Blood stained rain falls from the heavens.

I am washed clean of everything in my life.

My hand - still on the empty cross.

I weep tears of Joy.

For I know…

He is coming back for me!

Ok, a little dramatic, but it has copy and pasted like that.

My question is, am I game enough to translate that as my assignment :P

2007-09-13T23:23:00.000+10:00

Does anyone else have random urges.. Like to climb a poppet head?

I like living in Bendigo, there are many poppet heads to satisfy my urges. (And some nice scenery up there when I reach the top! :D)

Professionalism

2007-09-12T16:49:00.000+10:00

"I expect professionalism."

It's a phrase I often hear one of my science lecturers say. Usually it is because of the boys playing up up the back of the lecture theatre. It's fair enough he saying it, as it often seems that these people cant leave their year 9 musings behind them.

The lecturer then goes into a five minute schpeel about how we're teachers, and we're educating tomorrows adults. So passionate about this issue, he even brought in some research that teachers are in the top ten of most trusted 'professionals'.

... Would you trust me?

But then, according to the Adelaide Advertiser, teaching wasn't even on the 'top ten' list. Doctors being the most trusted.

Today I would like to talk to you about my experience at the doctors yesterday.

I couldnt even watch my favorite show, All Saints, at 3pm, as I sat there trembling at the thought of getting a typhoid injection. The thought of the possibility it not being the right one, that it hadn't spent enough time in the fridge, that I would react. All of these crazy possibilities.

Mez came and got me, and practically dragged me out of the house kicking and screaming.

We sat in the waiting room for a good half hour, Mez asking me all about my trip as she tried to ease my mind about the injection and the abusive type people who just entered the waiting room.

Finally when it was my turn, the doctor came and got me, we sat in his office, he asked questions, and then he led us to a room where the nurse was waiting for me. This is ultimately where I paniked.

The nurse then accused me of acting like a 2 year old. After the injection I felt queezy, lied on the bed and cried. I didnt know what was going on but I felt incredibly strange and scared! The nurse just left, the doctor came in, and put a peice of paper on my stomach, and walked away.

I felt so very uncared for (apart from Mez being there, asking me more random questions to ease my mind). Honestly, the second word of this clinic was 'care', but seriously it didn't feel like it. Oh how I regretted doing this! I knew I should have just waited to see Dr. Chan. He'd make sure I'm fine! He may be that little bit nuts, but he's a good nut.

After a few hours, I realised that although I acted like a complete child being scared of the needle, that nurse really shouldn't have said that. Like, I can get over it, but what about the people who have anxiety conditions? Isn't that a little... (dare I say it) unprofessional?

I almost called them to make a 'complaint'. Although Jesus did command us to turn the other cheek, He also told us we should tell people when they are in the wrong (learnt that one the hard way from Lara).

So today, I have one arm and one foot (after tearing a tissue). I can't drive Roy (without almost having an accident) which sucks, because I need to rely on people to drive me places.

So there's the story of my life!

getting a cold trying to find a doctor

2007-09-11T12:52:00.000+10:00

"although I walk through the Valley of Death, I will fear no needle!"

- Joy

Today is the day watching All Saints is just 'too much'.

I have recently spent $109 dollars on a typhoid vaccine which will hopefully not make me as sick as last time I had it.

Everybody believes Bendigo is in a GP crisis. It takes about a week to get into my doctor (which is pretty good for Bendigo!), and I spent 6 hours in the Emergancy Department on the weekend. All I want is a simple injection, that basically I want over!

After being on two waiting lists yesterday, and not getting a call for either, I decided this morning to wake up at 6:30 am, and by 7 be sitting outside of primary care (after going for a coffee at maccas) and sitting there until the open at 8am. It's a very interesting place at that time of morning. Probably wouldnt want to be there alone after dark!

To pass the time, sitting on a pillow on the cement footpath, I took some pictures. At 7:30, (note, why was I there since 7am!?) more people came to queue up, so I decided to stop being a fool and put my camera away.

I noticed that while about the 5 of us stood there in silence, we all had the one eager thing on our mind: as soon as the door opened, get in and get an appointment.

It was also obvious that we all were thinking the same thing: Bendigo needs more doctors.

untuk foto terbaik di kota anda

2007-09-10T17:58:00.000+10:00

A few weeks ago I found my old camera. It's always interesting putting in an old film, to see what's on it... Things just like...

My pets at home:
Stoz and Steff playing with some blocks that ended up at my house after kids4life:

Some spies:
Trav, voluntarily posing on his (works) car:

Luke in discust of his friend Trav:
And what's good also is, I got some decent batteries again, so I can take decent photos with my digital camera! And since I'm over my hay fever, it's time to go smell the flowers!

(about 2 months ago. I had really long nails but had to cut them for work :( )

(a tree outside my house)
(it rained today)

(pegs)
(clouds!)

Kissed the girls and made them cry

2007-09-08T13:20:00.000+10:00

This morning I finally finished the book, Kissed the Girls and Made them Cry: Why women loose when they give in by Lisa Bevere*. (Yes, Lisa is the wife of John Bevere)

There is SOO much good stuff in it, and if I were to review it I would probably have to re-write the whole book! I'd even almost reccomend it to guys, because some of the stuff is just so good.

It's a book of truth, not of blame but of love! It's fantastic!

If you want to borrow it, let me know. I know of so many people that would benefit from this book, but if you WANT to read it, let me know. There's only one person in line ;)

Lisa touches on something I guess I'd led myself to believe: that feminimity is not something to be ashamed of, but should be embraced! That feminimity is so far from the wimpy image that seems should go along with it. (that is being said when I am against feminism, if that makes any sense)

So here's something I was reading last night that I'll put in here:

Psalm 51

1 Have mercy upon me, O God,
According to Your lovingkindness;
According to the multitude of Your tender mercies,
Blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
And cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I acknowledge my transgressions,
And my sin is always before me.
4 Against You, You only, have I sinned,
And done this evil in Your sight—
That You may be found just when You speak,^[a]
And blameless when You judge.

5 Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
And in sin my mother conceived me.
6 Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts,
And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.

7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8 Make me hear joy and gladness,
That the bones You have broken may rejoice.
9 Hide Your face from my sins,
And blot out all my iniquities.

10 Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me away from Your presence,
And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.

12 Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,
And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.
13 Then I will teach transgressors Your ways,
And sinners shall be converted to You.

14 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
The God of my salvation,
And my tongue shall sing aloud of Your righteousness.
15 O Lord, open my lips,
And my mouth shall show forth Your praise.
16 For You do not desire sacrifice, or else I would give it;
You do not delight in burnt offering.
17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit,
A broken and a contrite heart—
These, O God, You will not despise.

18 Do good in Your good pleasure to Zion;
Build the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then You shall be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness,
With burnt offering and whole burnt offering;
Then they shall offer bulls on Your altar.

Lisa's 'review':

We appeal to God based on His mercy, not on our merit
We confess the issue as a sin against Him
We acknowledge His judgements as righteous.
We ask for His clensing and accept it as a done deal.
We ask Him to purify any defilement and renew our spirits.
We ask for the joy of His Salvation
We commit to teach others from our mistakes and walk in humility.

blessings,
Sammy

*Bevere, Lisa (2002) Kissed the Girls and Made them Cry: why women lose when they give in. Thomas Nelson Publishers: Nashville

stabilo

2007-09-06T23:28:00.000+10:00

We have an interesting maths class this semester.

I can't say it is the highlight of my week. We often get hand outs we don't use. My friend Steff can often be found colouring in a pattern on one of these odd handouts every monday before the lecture starts. If you're lucky, she'll also continue this throughout the week.

A quote from the girl herself, "it's the highlight of my week!"

*bada boom ching!!*

But as far as 'highlights' go, earlier this week, I did something very exciting. I walked into the travel agent, and put a deposit in on my airfare to Indonesia!

And as far as my travel buddy Steff goes, you can check out about what we're doing and where we're going here.

Yes, after a lot of question about my suitability to travel, I finally decided (along with persuasion from my parents) and declared that I am, on November 27, getting on that plane and going to Sulawesi! This is one of my biggest dreams, and quite honestly, when I came to this campus in 2005, I honestly hoped that an opportunity like this would come up.

God is a God beyond our wildest dreams. This is quite likely only the beginning of what he has in store for me.

So from here on, it is the process of fund raising for the trip, getting my act together, having some immunisations and what not.

Sometimes I'm just sitting there and will just randomly giggle, jiggle, or tap my fingers on the table in excitement! Can you tell, I'm super excited! eeeeeeeee!

put that thing back where it came from or so help me

2007-09-06T23:06:00.000+10:00

Ever get so lost behind deep theology that doesnt make sense? That makes you feel like you're walking on eggshells and thus making you feel distant from God?

Although this theology is interesting, challenging, and not always bad, sometimes we forget some of the simple, yet crucial things.

Something someone said to me the other day in an sms randomlly:

I give you authority

This was taken out of Luke 10:19:

Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you.

What is it to have authority? To have authority is to almost like take control. Take a look at Matthew 16:19:

I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven."

Now that's a pretty big responsibility when you think about it. What is bound and loosed in heaven can be up to us. We can make these big shifts in the heavenlies as well as on earth! WOW!

It's not that I didn't know this. But some how out of all the deeper theology I lost this, and became myself, lost. This of course, does not mean we should live a simple life, because the road is not a highway, and life isn't simple. But some of these things need to be crucially remembered.

I remember when I used to live in Pinnaroo, one night I pretty much told God my life story! Everything that was going on I just talked and talked and talked to God for a good 3 hours. I don't know where this went from my life. The lack of real-ness between God and myself, which is particulaly silly, when God is all-knowing. It's so simple, yet so crucial.

A good mate said to me not long ago to just tell God everything. Be specific. Be real.

It was a bit like, well, duh. But of course, just like a prep, whoops, I forgot.

In 1 peter 5:7 it says:

casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

Notice the word ALL, there? Take particular notice. It doesn't say some of your cares, but ALL of your care upon Him!

Keep it real.

Sammy

(PS. Edit on this. Although simple advice is good, always remember that the 'power' in the simplicity is what backs it up - the word of God!)

dirt road musings

2007-09-02T19:04:00.000+10:00

Today I decided to go for a random (well, random with a point) trip today. After church, I found myself flying (well, driving) south. Where but to the very nice town of Kyneton, for reasons I cannot publically disclose on my blog ;)

I was following this map the lady at the information centre gave me to a place called Newham. Newham is a town near Hanging Rock, and I'd say barely 20 people live there. The significance of this town is my great great grandparents were married there, in the towns only church, which is now closed. Newhams has scary public toilets, a school, a nice playground, and one shop that's closing down. It's my kind of town, but we'll get back to that!

Going back to the map - the map wasn't very clear. All of the road names were different and strange, and I ended up getting lost. In fact, I spent a lot of time on old dirt roads with cows staring at me like they'd never seen a car before.

While getting back on the right road, it appeared to me that this is what life is like in this modern day. We get lost when the information given to us is not accurate, if we're given a copy of a copy it looses it's originallity. I think specifically with different translations of the bible. I was in a bible study the other day, and just the difference in the 'modern day' text to the 'older' texts. Perhaps it may be easier to understand, but we seem to loose some deeper meaning! And it frustrates me. gr!

I guess that's also the importance of being real, and the importance of letting God's accuracy shine forth, so that we dont become 'lost' like I did today.

Am I making sense? probably not!

Anyway, back to Newham. It made me think of how much of a country girl I really am. Recently I was reading my friend Luke (of the nice feet variety)'s blog, and initially in this post, Luke suggests that we long for something more than just a small town, that we often want more opportunity, and as human beings, we long for something bigger. He uses the example of Bendigo vs. Melbourne. There are parts of me that wants to get up and enjoy the big life of a bigger city than Bendigo. Perhaps that's a natural instinct that has been put into me because I grew up in a small town that had little opportunity.

In 12 months (if all goes to plan) I will have graduated and will be able to start thinking about a teaching job. This, of course, does mean, that there is a very good chance that this job will not exist in Bendigo. That means, indeed moving. And you know what? On one hand I want to spread my wings to somewhere like Melbourne (maybe like, somewhere in the outer east), but the other hand longs to go somewhere nice and small. Newham, like my home town, just felt right there at home. Much more picturesque than Pinnaroo :P

I want the husstle and bussle, but I want the serenity. And, no, a skyline of buildings in a smog filled sky is not serenity.

Something else I did today was put flowers on my aunties grave. Luckily, Kyneton is full of daffodils at the moment, so I picked one, along with a lei that Mez gave me for Valentines day.

Looking at all of these things to do with my past, marvelling at God's beautiful hidden creation that is so unseen unless you're lost in the middle of nowhere, I remenisced about a verse my pastor was talking about this morning (in Luke 9 NKJV):

59 Then He said to another, “Follow Me.” But he said, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.”
60 Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and preach the kingdom of God.”
61 And another also said, “Lord, I will follow You, but let me first go and bid them farewell who are at my house.”
62 But Jesus said to him, “No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.”

How often is it that we can dwell on things that are 'dead' in this world. Where am I focussing my attention? Why can't I ust get on in the work that God has for me to do? So many times God will have something for me to do, while I have my head up in the clouds. My focus is elsewhere, and I don't see the urgancy nor the timing in which God has given.

"Oh, but God, that's a really nice boulder."

Meditate on that verse for a while. See what that means for you. Come back and tell me.

(sorry if this post was too Sammy-esce and didn't make sense. I might come back to this and elaborate. ahg!)

In summary, this post was about:

When information is not accurate, we can get lost.
Humans long for something 'more' than what they're in. Whether it be location, or just for growth. This is a healthy desire that God has placed within us. Isn't that great!!?
Sometimes we can get sidetracked from serving the kingdom of God, because we are serving something 'dead'.

drop it like it's hot

2007-08-30T18:15:00.000+10:00

Today I was working at McDonalds. It was my first time on breakfast.

When we take something from the burger warmer/dispencery thing, we say, "taking a (mac, chook, cheese - meaning either a Big Mac, McChicken, or Cheese Burger etc)". Well, because I was on breakfast for the first time, I didn't know the 'code' words.

Anyway, so this asian man comes in, and he says that he wants two hotcakes. Now for hotcakes, they make them when you order, so I have to (with my teacher voice) yell for them. I had recently heard someone call them "hotties", so, without thinking, I call out, "Can I have 2 hotties?"

I turn around and see the man laughing his head off at me.

"I thought this was a respectable family restraunt!"

Both he and I laughed in unity with each other, for quite some time...

He is our Peace

2007-08-28T22:16:00.000+10:00

He is our peace
Who has broken down every wall
He is our peace
He is our peace

He is our peace
Who has broken down every wall
He is our peace
He is our peace

So cast your cares on Him,
for he careth for you
He is our peace
He is our peace

So cast your cares on Him,
for he careth for you
He is our peace
He is our peace

1 peter 5:7

Yes, it is symbollic.

creative prophesy?

2007-08-16T09:56:00.000+10:00

So here I am, back on blogger. Yeah, I couldn't keep away.

For those who were wondering, the reason I closed it was in a late night discovery of a comment to one of my posts. This comment initiated that I had hurt somebody with one of my posts. That post is now deleted. If that person is reading this, please know that I am sorry, and I hope you can forgive me.

So happenings of late. Just a lot of uni basically. We have a big prac coming up, where I have to implement a science plan to 5/6's. Eep!

Yesterday was a rough day. Wasn't well, so I spent the day with my 'church family'. I was blessed to get into primary care to get a doctors certificate.

I went to a bible study, to listen to Travis Ripley (on a CD). But then I fell asleep. So I slept on a bean bag while the rest of the ladies listened to the good old american preacher. I kept waking up and thinking "agh! Where am I? Whose that american??"

Afterwards, when I finally woke up, 'Travis' had finished speaking, I just started drawing on a peice of scrap paper. I was thinking about Indonesia, so I drew some mountains and Volcano. I was asked if it was a 'prophetic picture' (of which I highly doubted).

But then, later that night, we were watching the TV when somebody pointed out (the TV was on mute) that there was a volcano errupting on tens news. I had a look and then noticed that the text at the bottom was in Indonesian. Four villages had been evacuated, it read.

Interesting, maybe it was prophetic.

This morning I found out that the volcanoe that errupted was Mt Soputan, which is on the island of Sulawesi: the same island I am going to at the end of the year... hmmm

McSouth Australian

2007-07-17T15:04:00.000+10:00

It turns out the manager of my McDonalds is from South Australia too.

"was she like "so... do you like maccas?" and you're like "only if it's in a box." and she's like "well, we don't have boxes" and you're like "oh..." and she's like "pop quiz, a stobie pole is what?" and you're like "*answer provided*" and she's like SOUTHAUSTRALIAN!!!11!!oneone!!" *

- Hamish

"Yeah, that's probably why she hired you - get a bit of unity among the South Australians..."

- My dad.

* - South Australia has had burgers in boxes for quite a while now. It has only been recently that Victoria has followed.

Does anyone even read my blog anymore? I'm actually thinking of stopping blogging, and basically just getting rid of the internet all together. By that I mean, go back to dial up and hardly use it.

neeee hehehehe!

2007-07-14T23:35:00.000+10:00

I have been drinking green tea, and it has taken a fast paced Indonesian pop song to unleash a whole heap of excitement in me! I'm so excited, I'm going to Indonesia at the end of the year! Agggghhhh!!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, mum is heading to Malaysia, and I'm going to see if she can get me Ungu, Peterpan and Sheila on 7's CDs!

Enjoy this song that has me so hyped up! I challenge you to sing along! Comment and tell me how you went! (Yes, I expect comments!)

Ungu - Berjanjilah

Berjanjilah kau setia bila kau jadi kekasihku lagi
Berjanjilah kau setia selama kau masih disisiku

Kau mungkin bukanlah sesuatu yang baru dalam hidupku
Dalam pencarian cintaku wujudkan mimpi-mimpiku

Karena dahulu engkau pernah menjadi kekasih hatiku
Perhiasan dalam mimpiku mewarnai seluruh hidupku

Reff:
Berjanjilah kau setia bila kau jadi kekasihku lagi
Berjanjilah kau setia bila kau masih mencintaku
Berjanjilah kau setia untuk menyayangi aku lagi
Berjanjilah kau setia selama kau masih disisiku

Semoga hasrat ini temani untuk slamanya
Semoga cinta ini akan slalu ada

Reff:
Berjanjilah kau setia bila kau jadi kekasihku lagi
Berjanjilah kau setia bila kau masih mencintaku
Berjanjilah kau setia untuk menyayangi aku lagi
Berjanjilah kau setia selama kau masih disisiku
Berjanjilah kau setia untuk menyayangi aku lagi
Berjanjilah kau setia selama kau masih disisiku

Berjanjilah berjanjilah

extinct, slow, birds

2007-07-14T13:20:00.000+10:00

Did you know that Dodo means "sleeping" in french? That sure explains a lot.

At the beginning of the year I bought a deal off dodo. 3 months for $45 a month. This gives us unlimited downloads at 256kbps. This seemed good, but really it is not.

I worked out last week that between Claire and I, we rarely go over 5gb a month. I even worked out that a plan better suited for us with dodo, which would give us 10gb for $30. So I called (as it has been over 3 months) and asked to downgrade, and they told me it would cost a $60 downgrading fee. I don't exactly have money like that to throw around right now, so I figured I'd stay with them another 4 months if it was going to cost me that. Gr.

But my internet is useless. I am continously resetting the router. And then it wont let me sign into anything but skype, and then when I open firefox it only lets me into dodo's pages. This happens for about 5 days (somehow it eventually works). It seems to be around the time they take money out of my bank account (and there is heaps there!!) It also messes around with security certificates and wont let me into blogger. It lets me see my blog and gush, and that's about it.

Yes, I have called Dodo, and they don't seem to want to do anything about it. I can't actually understand them.

I think it's time to look for a new ISP. Can anyone reccomend me any? I'm looking for about 7ish Gb a month around the $30 mark. I found a good deal with Adam internet, but I'm pretty sure they only service South Australia. I am seriously ready to just go back to dial up, because it was actually more reliable.

And to top it off my antivirus software says I have a trojan. The weird thing about these trojans were they were setup files for google desktop. But look at this bizarre article, apparently it's intentional.

congo, congo, congo!

2007-07-12T23:39:00.001+10:00

Look, I joined the ebay congo line!

I look very silly, as I didn't get the picture right.

(agh, congos make me get Sandhurst window tinting stuck in my head!!)

up up and away

2007-07-12T23:15:00.000+10:00

Have the Smedley's got the travel bug??

Mum called me tonight, and told me that she is going overseas in two weeks, for 14 times.

As spontanious as it is, I am incredibly happy for her, and hope she has a lot of fun.

But eep. I'm scared. She's flying half way accross the world, and I'm starting to get the "what ifs". Last time she went overseas (2002) Grandma looked after Jess and I, now I'm living in Bendigo - eep!

It's so convenient when your Mum is only a phone call away...

Blessed with shoes

2007-07-12T18:44:00.001+10:00

God is so great!!

He has blessed me with a job. The past month or so I have really been financially struggling, and that's not so good when you're planning to go overseas at the end of the year. But God does provide. He has sent me to Bendigo, and can find a way, when there doesn't seem to be a way.

So the job, for those who have neglected to read my blog, is a casual position at maccas. Now, with this job I also needed some black, leather, polishable shoes.

Now I looked all over Bendigo for these new shoes, and found really nothing all too stunning, and nothing for less than $50 really.

Somehow, I got the idea to go to Castlemaine to look there. Now this is often the story of my life. I will look for something all over a city, and find what I'm looking for in a smaller place. So it came to no surprise that the first shoe shop I walked into Castlemaine had just the thing I was looking for.

I left them there and looked around the other shoe shops in town (a total of 3), then spending some time with my friend Kerri. My idea was to either go back to that shoe shop and get those shoes, or put some Doc Martens on layby in Bendigo (if I have to spend that much money, I'm going to spend them on docs).

Today I returned to Castlemaine with the mission of getting the shoes that I first saw. The lowdown is they were simple, yet stylish, leather polishable shoes for only $44. Half of the reason I wanted to buy the shoes here is because the lady was so nice, and wasn't pushy at all.

I walked into the store, and asked her about the shoes I looked at on Saturday. They were gone from the shelf! She said that she only had one pair left.. But they were a size 8 (I'm usually a size 7). I said that I'd just try them on to see.

You wouldn't believe it...

They fit PERFECTLY.

I have just gotten half decent work (and probably prac) shoes for under $50 (whilst most shoes like this are around the $100 mark)

So thanks God, for blessing me :) I refuse to believe that God cannot work in nearly any part of your life!

agghh

2007-07-11T16:40:00.000+10:00

One of the things I hate most about living in the city is that there aren't enough spaces where you can just scream.

the power of one

2007-07-10T09:30:00.000+10:00

Isn't it funny how one person, or even just a few, can make the difference to one country?

Imagine if I (or me and the people accompanying) could make that difference. A difference that could cancel out this terrorism - a difference for the better.

There were already travel warnings about Indonesia, but in the news yesterday, the warnings were emphasised that little bit more. Although as far as my understanding that the area I am travelling to is considered to be safe, somehow I find it unlikely that the university would risk taking us if there are warnings such as this going around. But you just never know.

It saddens me a lot that a few terrorists wreck so much for everyone.

I really need to seek God on this one. If I am to go, I'm sure he will give me a peace about it.

Not my will, but God's. God will make a way when there seems to be no way.

Kau hancurkan hatiku, hancurkan lagi
Kau hancurkan hatiku tuk melihatmu
Kau terangi jiwaku, kau redupkan lagi
Kau hancurkan hatiku tuk melihatmu

Ku katakan dengan indah - Peterpan (watch it Steff!)

(you break my heart, break it again, you break my heart to see me. You manifest my soul, you drain it again, you break my heart to see me. [I speak beautifully]) - how cheesy!!

in a flash

2007-07-08T14:16:00.000+10:00

And He said to them, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you. Nevertheless do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rather rejoice because your names are written in heaven.”

[Luke 10:18-20]

Yesterday was the 7th of the 7th of 2007. At 7pm I stood with a my church family in Rosalind Park. I saw lightning. It was awesome. God is moving in this city.

The song

2007-07-06T11:52:00.000+10:00

This morning I was getting ready to go down into the 'city', innocently listening to Adelaide's Life FM. Then they told me something about air piano fingers of Vannessa Carlton, and then, I heard it, the song.

I practically flew accross my bedroom to change the station. I hate this song a lot. It's a great song, but the memories it brings back are rather painful.

I can remember it so clearly, this song playing on the radio. It was raining, and we left from under the car park, I was in the back seat of my mums car. I was 15. I looked behind back at the hospital I'd just visited, as my mum excellerated down the busy North terrace in Adelaide. Rain was falling on the window as I looked back, and saw the hospital dissapear from my sight, this music playing making the scene ever so much more memorable. I didn't know that this would be the last time I would see her.

The next week she took a turn for the worst. My mother rushed back to this hospital to be by her side, while I was staying at a friends house. I didn't know how to deal with such grief and the possibility of her passing away just didn't seem real. It still doesn't.

My mother rang to tell me it was just a matter of time now until she passed away. I just sat in my friends lounge room, feeling rather numb to the possibility. That song begins to play again, as it was a backing track for a commercial for Blue Heelers. It seemed that this add was on every ad break. Because of its repetition it stuck so clearly in my mind.

I went to bed on my friends floor that night, staring at the ceiling, but trying to pray, not sure what exactly to pray: do I ask God for a miracle? I remember pouring myself right into God that night just praying so hard that I could somehow get some sleep. I remember it so clearly, my friend was asleep, and in my mind I was praying "Thankyou God that You hold her life in Your hands.." and as I prayed that, I heard their house phone ring, and instantly I knew. It would be THE phone call. I didn't hesitate, and just got up. I heard my friends mum answer the phone and say, "oh no.." I got up, and smiled like a dog that was about to get a treat as she handed me the phone. My mum's words were like arrows that hit me right in the heart,

"Sammy, Grandma's just passed away..."

I cried, but it was one of the rare occasions I did. I didn't like to show emotion in front of anybody. That song began to be so loud in my eyes, adding to all of the emotion.

It has been nearly five years, and it still hurts like the day she passed away.

It still doesn't feel real. I miss you...

Rated G

2007-07-05T14:40:00.000+10:00

Mingle² - Free Online Dating

Only has the words pain and kill in it twice

Thanks Aaron

No longer from the festy state

2007-07-04T22:24:00.000+10:00

Spatch: "Is anyone here a fully licenced driver?"
Me: "ooh! Yes I am!"
Spatch: "Fantastic! Good..."
Me: "Umm.. But one thing, I'm under 21, is that a problem?"
Spatch: *looks confused*
Steff: "It's not as stupid as it sounds!!!"

Today's adventures found me at the Vicroads office, surrendering myself to become, dare I say it, Victorian!

Yep, poor old Roy now is driving around with a plate that says "Victoria, The Place to be". What rubbish! I was going to get 'pop plates' and get Roy as my number plate, but it would cost over $300... No thanks. That almost would register Roy for a year! I had to get the plates off myself. Lucky I thought ahead and brought screwdrivers. I felt so, like, manly, or something. It took me ages, but I felt a great sense of self satisfaction once I had!

Roy also has something new attatched to him. Yes, that's right. P plates (thankyou Hamish!).

Most people are excited when they get their P's. I've already had them. But there's not too much of a problem, because Victorian P platers can drive faster than SA P platers, and because I don't drink, it won't really bother me. I just liked the claim of having a full licence when I was under 21. But, alas, you cannot be under 21 and be a Victorian fully licenced driver. I should be thankful that the day I turn 21 I get a full licence again, most victorian P platers don't have that.

But sigh, it's not as cool as people pointing out my car in the car park cos it has the SA plates. People can't wonder why I'm fully licenced anymore. Bring on November!!!

The good thing about all of this, My licence is free until March next year (when it expires in SA), as with my RAA, well, now RACV insurance. Also, the money I have just spent will be reimbursed by Transport SA :D Thank God that He provides!

feeling a little older than I am...

2007-07-03T13:37:00.000+10:00

Luke 2

41Every year his parents went to Jerusalem for the Feast of the Passover. 42When he was twelve years old, they went up to the Feast, according to the custom. 43After the Feast was over, while his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it. 44Thinking he was in their company, they traveled on for a day. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and friends.

45When they did not find him, they went back to Jerusalem to look for him. 46After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. 47Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers.

48When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, "Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you."

49"Why were you searching for me?" he asked. "Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house?"

***
"Age doesn't matter when it comes to the kind of person you are"

This passage came up at church one day, and it got me thinking. The main point of the passage was that Jesus was so smart at such a young age, that He was 'wowing' the elders of a church that were much older than He was.

I just got thinking, as I often do. I remember reading this verse as a younger christian in my trusty Good News Bible, and they had a simple illustration of Jesus talking to these older people. In a way I always picture myself there.

I look at my walk, and the people who have come in and out, and have noticed that the ones that have had the biggest impact have rarely been under 30. I have watched myself go in and out of patterns of confiding in people that are well beyond my years. That's not to say that I am not blessed with awesome, beautiful friends of my own age.

But I am starting to see a pattern, a trend, in which I seem to rely on people who are much older than me, and this is nothing new. Often I will find I almost prefer the company of older people. But what I wonder is, really, why? Is it because I have constantly in my past been let down by people my age? That I was bullied at school? Or is it just a difference in attitudes or values?

Hmmm...

copyright THIS!!!

2007-07-03T11:48:00.000+10:00

Very funny Amil, also known as switch! hahahaha.
Clever, clever, you had me going!

Sammy gets a job

2007-07-02T21:34:00.000+10:00

Well, I innocently made a blog post last night, and now it has been edited due to a threat of being sued or arrested.

I am not sure what caused the comment, whether it be the picture, or my use of puns. But nethertheless I have removed it all to start again, it's better to be safe than sorry. My suggestion for next time is to tell me what exactly I am infringing, and I can just remove it.

So, although this blog post is officially mundane and boring, the point still remains, that I have a casual job at maccas.

(the first two comments were made before this blog was modified)

yum yum salad!

2007-07-01T17:12:00.000+10:00

your voice

2007-07-01T16:21:00.000+10:00

I haven't heard this song in about 3 years...

Your voice is
The voice that
Commanded the universe to be
Your voice is
The voice that
Is speaking words of love to me

How can it be?

Awesome God
Holy God
I worship you in wonder
Awesome God
Holy God
As you draw near I’m humbled
By your majesty
And the mystery
Of your great love for me

Your arms are
The arms that
Hung shining stars in deepest space
Your arms are
The arms that
Surround me in a warm embrace

Amazing grace

Awesome God
Holy God
I worship you in wonder
Awesome God
Holy God
As you draw near I’m humbled

Awesome God
Holy God
I worship you in wonder
Awesome God
Holy God
As you draw near I’m humbled
By your majesty
And the mystery
Of your great love for me

the adventures of Sammy and a parking meter...

2007-06-29T20:09:00.000+10:00

It stands fast, anticipating their return.
The speed of time, like a child expecting termoil;
Primarily tiresome... then it gets fierce.
Tick.
Tick.
Tick, tick, tick.
Mortals glide to their destinations with haste.
Among the crowd, Alas! they have returned;
fed it another token.
It had longer to count;
More life to live.
[source]

On wednesday, I had a very big, crazy, but a day that needed to be had.

I went to a bible study in the morning, and in general conversation, somebody pointed out to me that I really needed to make peace with somebody. At first I just wanted to crawl up into a little ball of shame, but I came to realise that this person had said this to me in love, and it was the words I needed to hear. I got into my car and felt God speaking to me about this, and I really just wanted to ignore it like I had been for well over a month, and think it would just go away. It clearly wasn't, and the fact that I would have to face the person in a few weeks, quite honestly, scared me.

The adventures with the parking meter started after I left bible study, and came into the city to do some odd jobs before going to a friends house. Usually I park in the coles car park, as it is free, and I can park there for 3 hours. But Bendigo is seemingly in a car park crisis, and there were no car parks anywhere! So after chugging up a lot of petrol, and getting out of the car park, I search the immediate area for a car park that I will have to pay for. Even then I have no luck, but I do manage to find one outside the warehouse nightclub, but it has a limit for fifteen minutes.

That doesn't matter, I thought to myself, as it swallowed my 50c peice (it was all I had!) and went to the Camera House for job #1: passport photo. I needed a new passport photo as my home made ones weren't adequate, and I needed to get them in the mail as the price for passports goes up next week by $7. I stand in the quewe for no longer than 30 seconds when I am sat down for a rather unglamorous passport photo. The man said come back in 15 minutes.

Dang, I only have parking for 15 minutes. Ah well, I devised a plan of action! I would go to word (most dangerous store ever), as I had lost my bible. This would kill some time, and then I would go straight to the parking meter, and put a bit more money in.

After selecting a new bible, finding out after I had paid for it that the 20%-off sale starts tomorrow, I look at my mobile and realise I had been in word for 20 minutes. I run two blocks back to my car to put in what change I had, which didn't even give the parking meter 15 minutes, and return to the Camera House to pick up my passport photos. I was there for about 15 minutes.

I also had to take a packet of chips to my friends house for the afternoon. I went back to my car to put more money (I asked for change, I now had an abundance of 20c peices) and ran over to coles. After not being able to find the chip aisle, I settled for a coles brand of shapes, then ran back to my car once again. Funnily enough, there was two minutes left on the parking meter.

I still had to post the passport photos, and I wasnt putting any more money in that meter. All of this commotion had given me a bit of a head ache. I went home and got a disprin and disolved it in some water (as I still am a sook and can't swallow pills), and while trying to drink this, walked around the corner to the post box to post the passport photos (I must have been the funniest sight in all of Bendigo).

Now, I told my friend I was going to be at her house at 12, it was now well past 1pm. I jumped in my car, and drove to her house, her trying to call me twice on the way.

Upon arrival, my friend explained to me that she felt incredibly dissapointed in me that I was so late, and told me I should have called her. At first I thought she was joking, but the seriousness in her voice hinted that she was actually quite annoyed. She later told me that the reason she told me, was because in the bible, it tells you to tell people when they do wrong against you.

There seemed to be a reoccuring theme here.

Later I was thereputically folding brochures with my friend Cara, and I told her about all of this, and said how I planned to make peace at a certain engagement party, she really put it out to me: why am I waiting until then?

Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

- Matthew 5:23-24

God is pretty passionate about being real and about reconciliation. He considers it so highly, that he says, "hey, don't offer me anything, go and make peace with your brother and then face me!" And I guess this has been sitting on my heart, in that, you try and pray, and give your offering before God, and you feel like you just can't because there's something weighing on your heart that you just need to fix.

And so yesterday, I decided to fix it. I sat at my desk and prayed about what to say, and God gave me all of these things and I wrote them all down and took them with me when I visited them, although, they are a pretty busy person, so I am going to meet up with them on monday. It's going to be interesting considering I haven't talked to this person in well over a month, and we used to see each other quite a bit.

just some points

2007-06-29T19:46:00.000+10:00

I listened to an interesting sermon on wednesday by a prophetic teacher called Travis Ripley. It was so good I thought I'd blog some random dot points.

Jesus was corruptable (vulnerable) in the world - but didn't corrupt!
You don't go to church (the building) you are the church!
It's not so much about who you are, it's about whose you are!
If we're not like him, we won't see him!
It says in the bible that those who are pure in heart will see God!
And if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. [Romans 8:10]
We need to stop reaping in the flesh! How obsessed is this world today about satisfying the flesh! Satan has things that appeal to the flesh (and sometimes even the soul!)
When you are born again, the change will be the spirit living (dwelling) in you! .. and I like this bit: not spiritual 'quickfixes'!
Jesus prayed or God's will to be done in heaven as it is on earth.. In the kingdom of God, you can't have it your way!
Satans way lets you have it your way.. but it eventually will lead to death!
David was a man after God's own heart. He was a worshippin' warrior - soft, but tough!
When Jesus was tempted in the desert by satan:
Satan: "C'mon, proove your the son of God, do this, do that..."
Jesus: "Yeah, I'll proove it! Through obedience to God!"

Sorry if that went over your head, its a part 2, but still had some great stuff in it!

getting my eyes fixed!

2007-06-28T15:27:00.000+10:00

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Hebrews 12:2

Isn't it funny how you're just in a simple, yet theological conversation with someone and 'it' just clicks. And it seems so real that it brings tears to your eyes.

You see, I have a problem, where I can be cynical, or discerning, and I can focus on the problem. With my anxiety I generally have the issue that I will dwell on the anxiety, and look and focus on it, rather than what I really should be doing, and this answer, is found simply in Hebrews 12:2.

Where does Paul say to keep our eyes fixed? Jesus! He doesn't tell us to dwell and dwell on an issue, and trust me there are many, because who does that give the glory to? (I'll give you a hint, it's not God!)

there already is a happy ending...

2007-06-25T23:09:00.000+10:00

She has dreams. So many huge dreams that just seem so unreachable right now. She wants to get up, progress and move forward. She wants to just travel around the big city lights. She wants to get on an aeroplane and fly to a distant land.

But irrational fear stops her, and with her perseverence she just seems to freeze and fall down. She fears that everybody will look at her and think that her big, awesome, God isn't so big and awesome after all. They will think she is just one giant hypocrite, that she obviously isn't serving the God she has claimed to. Besides, she has God, why does she have such high levels of anxiety, right? She is convinced that people will see this as a result of the choices she has made in the past six months. What should it matter what other people think?

She falls and feels like the fear paralyses her from any rational thought. She is scared to ask for help, but gives in, cries out, and someone hears. They pick her up, walk with her, talk with her, pray with her, just the sound of the voice of a friend seems so strengthening and renewing.

She then runs into the arms of God, so drained, she falls asleep in his hand, incredibly comforted. All of the stresses and pain and weaknesses she just totally surrenders, lets go, and rests in this mighty hand.

God whispers and reminds her that healing takes time, that He is always near, to meditate on His word and to continuously rest in Him.

Psalm 91

1 He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.”

3 Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler
And from the perilous pestilence.
4 He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
5 You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
6 Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.
8 Only with your eyes shall you look,
And see the reward of the wicked.

9 Because you have made the LORD, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
10 No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
11 For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.
12 In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
13 You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.

14 “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
15 He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him,
And show him My salvation.”

Trav vs. Bendigo

2007-06-25T15:44:00.000+10:00

"There are some good things about Bendigo... Just because I can't think of any is irrelevant."

- Trav

runaway duck

2007-06-24T22:00:00.001+10:00

My mum had a duck. Her name was nit-wit. Sadly, yesterday morning, Nit-wit went missing. My mum has looked all around the place and can't find her. It's very sad. I really loved this duck too. I hope that it has just gone walk about, and will come home soon.

:(

half way around the world and back

2007-06-23T17:57:00.000+10:00

I didn't expect today to be so full on. I was lying in bed, when at 9:30 my phone rang. One of my friends son had an accident at football and she had no car, meaning she needed a ride to the hospital. That was all good, because I love doing things for my friends, and would do anything for them. The only glitch was she was in Castlemaine. So I got myself ready and within 5 minutes I was out the door to Castlemaine. It seems to take so long just getting out of Bendigo!

I was in Castlemaine for about 2 minutes, and got her and her other kids in the car and headed over to the Bendigo hospital.

If something happens to me, please don't take me to the Bendigo hospital. It is a really scary place. Walking through the emergency ward brought back memories of when my grandpa was in ICU. It made me feel incredibly mergh.

Came home and within half an hour I got a phone call and got my friend and her kids and took her back to Castlemaine. Spent about an hour in Castlemaine drinking milo and playing with her kids, and then headed 'home' again. Although, I guess I had something else on my mind. I went towards Melbourne to see how far away Kyneton was. It being 33km away, I kept going, as it has been something I have been meaning to do for a while. After a brief toilet stop at what was like haunted public toilets, I went to the cemetry to visit my late auntie Joan, and picked some leaves for her. I called my auntie and mum while I was there. It was all very exciting, and very much so, cold.

I'm tired. And I have a 21st to go to, that I really don't want to. I just want to stay home. I know once the girls come over to my house I'll cheer up. I just feel so blah. I hate hospitals.

(how retro is my dad's purple car though! Wish he still had it!)

very useful things

2007-06-23T17:55:00.001+10:00

Last night I had a nightmare that I took a bus to Adelaide and lost my luggage, and it supposedly went on a train to Melbourne. A scary kind of dream for a person like me (and yes, it has happened before)

I think it was a subtle hint from God: loose the baggage.

it's over for now

2007-06-22T15:47:00.000+10:00

So today I finished my last exam for the semester, meaning I am now 'free'...

.. I'm bored already..

a lot of emotions and thoughts are going on right now about the end of semester, it being one of the hardest semesters I have had to endure, the fact that I am now well over half way done, and just life in general.

Ever get that feeling of 'alone'? Not lonely, just alone. Like isolated. Around heaps of people you still feel alone.

No, I'm not going home these holidays. Going home costs me $100 round trip, as well as the pressure to go to Adelaide. I'm trying to stay away from the shops, and just trying to eat the abundance of food already in the cupboard. These holidays I will try and get a job. Many engagement parties and 21sts there are also an abundance of.

I'm feeling artistic. I'm off to paint a picture! =]

don't turn off the lights!

2007-06-20T23:34:00.000+10:00

When I was a little kid, before I had even started school, I was innocently watching one of my favorite movies on a betacord video machine (oldschool, before VHS and DVD). Anyway, suddenly, the switch went up, and made a large BANG, all of the lights throughout the house went off.

Terrafied, I ran into the office where Mum and Dad were. Here began a long fear of black outs. I was still scared of them when I was a teenager. Living in Pinnaroo, where the power went off every time the wind blew it seemed, where as soon as you heard there was a storm coming you would get the candles and torches out ready, and up to this day, the black outs are for extended amounts of time, usually about 20 hours.

But I left the world of frequent black outs to the state of abundance: Victoria. In my time here I have only experienced on average, 1 black out a year. Usually it is not too scary, as I lived on a residence with at least 7 other people. Then last night, came the 2007 black out. This time I don't live on campus. I handled it quite well, although, in the back of my mind I remembered how much black outs would scare me. The strange thing about this blackout is that although we had no power, all the suburbs around us did.

After 2 games of uno, we decided to go out to Lansell, where they had power.

It made me think, though, how much we rely on electricity, especially considering it is so cold, and our heating relies on electricity. I wonder where I truly would be without it?

It is incredibly hard to post a blog like this when you at the same time are watching this.

5 things I 'dig' about Jesus

2007-06-20T16:32:00.000+10:00

I have been tagged by Susan to write 5 things I 'dig' about Jesus. I think it's going to be hard just to choose 5 (see John 21:25).

OK, here it goes..

1. I love that my walk with Jesus is completely personal, it is mine, I am unique and nobody can take it away. It's like when you get this revelation, and you're incredibly excited, and then nobody cares, but you just know it is God, and that he has inspired you, and just you, are incredibly inspired.. you know? No, I'm not making sense am I..

2. He is so jentle, kind, but so powerful and strong! He can calm the raging seas, and the sound of His name is just incredibly powerful!

3. Although I constantly find myself not fitting in, I know that because of Jesus I want to stand out!

4. That it's not by my might, or by my strength, but His spirit moving in my life.

5. His banner over me is love, His love. His LOVE! How can you ever uproot that!!!

And now, I tag Spatch and Bec (She likes these taggy things, or just keeps getting tagged!)
***

In other news I have got 3 new fish and a snail. There's a fish with spots (Burkie), a gold fish (Beth) and one with an orange shell (turtle).. Plus my snail, who is black (Steff)

the melBOURNE identity

2007-06-19T12:45:00.000+10:00

It has been a massive weekend.

It all started friday, at 9am, with an Indonesian exam. After that, and chasing Nita around for our assignments she lost, Tegan took me home where I quickly packed for Ballarat/Melbourne. I walked to the train station (Panic attack #1), got there 45 minutes before the bus was going to leave, so I got a good old danish from Bakers Delight.

Upon leaving, came panic attack, probably #5. Mez was on the other end of the phone trying to calm me down.

A friend pointed it out to me that if I am so afraid doing this - how will I be in Indonesia? Good question. Indonesia is a huge, well, desire of mine. I want to go and be utterly out of my comfort zone. But if my comfort zone was not even going out of a km of my house - how was I going to cope?

The fear was irrational, and didn't make sense, and seemed to be random.

I got to Ballarat, and as soon as Mez picked me up I was fine. I felt safe being with Mez in her car, and felt like everything was going to be ok.

We went out for tea to the Ballarat version of La Porchetta, apon getting there I saw the librarian from my former high school - bizarre!

After talking many random photos we went to Mez's church's youth group, played this bizarre game called binsies. Never again! The pastor spoke about fasting. I guess fasting is something I have never really given much thought about, or understood completely. It was good to finally get some sense around it.

After that we went ventured through a very thick but utterly typical Ballarat fog to a special McDonalds which serves chocolate soft serve. (The photo is of one I got in the special glenelg McDonalds in Adelaide)

The next day Mez dropped me off at the station before work. I met up with Turtle to go to Melbourne on the train with her. The panic began again.

We got off the train, wandered around Melbourne, and went to a food court to the best BEST thing I have ever tasted - Torts. They're like a yiros (oh, sorry victorians... kebabs) but ever so fresh!!!

After this we went to an incredibly expensive bookstore with Indonesian books. I can get my dictionaries half that price at my uni! After this we hopped on a train out to Belgrave (being rediculously early for Burkie to pick us up) and sat in the Puffing Billy cafe (I think we're up to about panic atack #36 at least) and drank a POT OF GREEN TEA FOR $2! I could definately live in this part of Melbourne.

Burkie came and picked us up (yay Sam!) from Belgrave, and finally it felt like the panic had stopped, just like when I got in the car with Mez. We ran around to the supermarket, the cheese cake shop, and various other places, which was a lot of fun and very entertaining indeed.

Finally we arrived at Burkie's fionce's house. Her name is Beth and she is incredibly gorgeous! I hadn't met her before, and she is just awesome! I met lots of people, helped make artistic fruit platters, and generally had a great time. Once the party began, I met some people of the gush variety, both new and old, and a girl who is studying Indonesian by corrospondance in Melbourne.

I really enjoyed meeting Beth and seeing Burkie again. They are so perfect for each other. I look at them and just can't stop smiling!!!

Back to Belgrave and the panic starts again. Connex cancelled our train so we had to do a bit of the transferring at Ringwood thing.

Got into the city, went to the shops, met some lost farmers, saw DFO (look, but don't touch!), and got on my train back to Bendigo.

I struggled to keep awake on the train. I found myself dosing off, and I tried incredibly hard to stay awake. I soon found myself in a deep sleep, until a conductor woke me up asking for my ticket.

Got back into Bendigo after having to coach it from Castlemaine at a bit after 6. Caught the taxi home and was just in time for 'church'. Luckily 'church' is near me, so I can walk.

I sat at church feeling rather meh. Along with being tired, I was sick of this anxiety plaguing my life. I just.. sat there, the whole time. I didn't want to do anything, in fact the thought of just leaving crossed my mind a few times. Because 'church' only had 6 people there including myself, I didn't leave. I just.. sat there. This wasn't anybodies fault. It wasn't the structure or anything, it was just me and my attitude and feelings.

Basically in the last few months I have shut off. I used to open up everything and suddenly I was bottled up. I didn't know who to turn to. This became an incredible problem.

I stayed behind, and a friend knew that something was really, not right. I opened up, I finally did it. And she was quick to call a few people and we all prayed together. It was an incredibly liberating.

So I guess I've learnt a lesson. It's like Age Rowse says, take a risk and tell someone. What's the worst that could happen - right?

This song was sung at my grandpa's funeral (in 2003), and how true it is: (note, if something happens to me, I want this at my funeral too!)

What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do your friends despise, forsake you? Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms He’ll take and shield you; you will find a solace there.

the king of baked potatoes

2007-06-13T22:16:00.000+10:00

It all started on sunday night when I was innocently watching Rove Live, waiting for my mum to call me to pick her up from her night out. Rove was interviewing Myf Warhurst from triple j. As with all of the guests on Rove's show, he asks them questions to earn $20 in 20 minutes.

The clock is counting down, and there are about 5 seconds left, when Rove asks Myf, "Is Elvis still alive?"
She answered quite excitedly, "Yes! He lives in Bendigo!"
Rove cries, "wait! wait! stop the clock I want to hear this - What?"
The clock is stopped, and Myf explains that Elvis is indeed alive, and selling baked potatoes in the Mall in Bendigo.

At the time it was pretty funny, and in good Sammy tradition, it still was funny last night.

After telling this to my sister, and to Steff, which I'm sure both found it very amusing, I decided to play a little trick on my friend Trav. You see, Trav replaced his mobile a little while ago now, and with that I decided to play a bit of a "guess who" trick on him. It was fun for a while, but given the circumstances under which I was messaging him (and also I suspect, cheating), he soon worked out it was me (however his first guess was 'are you male?'). I guessed that he'd never think I'd be behind such a trick again. And so far, I think I'm right, as this secret will be revealed to him when he reads this post.

With my mothers phone I decided to send Trav a message: "Hey, you'll never guess what! Elvis is alive and well and selling baked potatoes in the Bendigo Mall".
A while later I got a message back from Trav informing me that he had indeed got a new phone and had lost his numbers so he didn't know who I was.
I was delighted to inform Trav that I was indeed Rove McMannus.

After this I went and packed for the long trip home, and got organised, while my mum went to work. After getting ready, I decided that I'd better see if Trav had anything to say, but I couldn't find the mobile anywhere..

I soon forgot about it, got in my car and went down to say goodbye to my mum. She said to me, "Some Trav guy messaged me, and he said 'Say Hi to your mum for me'" (that is a famous quote Rove says at the end of each of his shows).

back to the future

2007-06-13T10:41:00.000+10:00

"The sun is always shining
the beaches like a diamond
you can see for miles
with tons of friendly smiles
the fish are always biting
drivings dynamiting
the footy is to die for
you'll get yourself an eyeful
so do yourself a favour
and come to South Australia!"

Would you believe I actually saw that ad on TV last night! I forgot that all South Australians were like me and payed out Victoria like me. haha. Must be a 'South Australian thing'

Today I am going back to Bendigo. I haven't slept, been really restless, as well as the fact that I had a good ol' Farmers Union Iced Coffee that wasn't so good.

I had a good catch up with my old youth pastor yesterday. She is so inspiring, I'd say she's a lot like me in her theology and beliefs of things. It was also good to talk to her about my anxiety, and actually get a bit more of a pin point onto what it actually probably is that is causing it.

I officially have things up on ebay - clothes and even a mobile phone! Let me know if you're interested ;)

Umm.. I thought I knew what I was going to type in this little white box. It was going to be deep. But I think I've forgotten.

I'm going to miss the quietness and lack of voltage of Pinnaroo. I'm going to miss the fact that I can just go out the back and talk to the animals like Dr. Harry. I'm going to miss having mum around. I'm going to miss feeling safe when I walk down the streets. I'm going to miss the lifestyle on the weekend (that is things like bonfires, heading out the scrub, things like that).

But that said, there are some things I miss about Bendigo. Life is progressing there, life goes on, I have people there I love and miss. Isn't it funny how one bizarre dream can make you miss someone like crazy? I'm going to get some new fish when I get home.

I guess part of me hasn't wanted to grow up, but I need to. I'm 20 and I don't know where the years have gone. And that scares me, because next I know I'll wake up and be 40, but where will I be in my life?

Anyway, time for a bath (don't get them in Bendigo grr), and then the long and winding road back to the 'Go to do some study and catch up on the recent life I have missed.

Those old Pinnaroo days

2007-06-10T13:38:00.000+10:00

This week, I looked in the local weekly newspaper (about 5 pages) called The Border Times, to find that a youth group from Aldinga Bay Baptist Church (that's in Adelaide) were coming down to have a camp in Pinnaroo. I used to love church camps, there was that special feeling about them. Anyway, the ad in the paper stated "BBQ - all Youth Welcome".

Two people knew I were coming, all the others were very surprised to see ol' Sammy Smedley turn up! "What are you doing here!!?"

I need to get a t-shirt that states answers to 3 frequently asked questions I keep getting asked:
- I live in Bendigo now, no, NOT Ballarat.. OR Adelaide
- I'm doing Education, yes, this is my 3rd year
- No I won't be a teacher next year, my course goes for four years.
(and just for the record, it's Sammy, not Jess)

So we had a BBQ at the church. I sat with a few people from Aldinga, and we had fun paying out Victoria for their lack of Stobie Poles and Fritz. I haven't sat with so many people who pronounce words such as plant and answer correctly for a very long time.

I also met a girl from Millicent (near Mt Gambier). She was good to talk to.

After tea, we headed out to one of the ladies houses for a bonfire. Ah, I miss the Pinnaroo life so much, where we had bonfires and just talked. It's these kinds of things that you just can't do in the city (imagine a bonfire in my backyard!). I guess I'm just different in the sense that I like these kinds of things, rather than doing city-like things like going to the movies.

This was the second bonfire I've had since I came home. Dad fixed the seats on my car (yay!), and we had one in his back yard.

I went to church this morning - the one I still am officially a member at. I expected to be singing some good old hymns, and I was actually pretty excited about this (someone last night said I get excited easily). But because the youth took the service, it was pretty contemporary (moreso than my current church in Bendigo even!) for Pinnaroo.

I cried in this church service. It takes a lot for me to cry. The reason? I don't want to go back to Bendigo! I like Pinnaroo suddenly. But then in and out of my thinking, I began to think about Bendigo, just a few situations. I know where I'm called to be and I can't run from that. Dang.

(the picture above is of me and my dad at a mallee fowls nest in the scrub. My sister and our dog Basil is in the bottom corner)

berita pagi

2007-06-09T15:14:00.000+10:00

(That's Indonesian for 'the morning news')

I have been reminiscing about my trip to Indonesia in 2002. I went to see my high school Indonesian teacher on Friday. I've been going through all the things in my 'Indonesia-box'. Oh how I miss it!

Recently I applied to go to Indonesia for an intensive language experience in Sulawesi, Indonesia. I have not wanted something like this for a very long time.

I got an email today. I frantically clicked an email that had the subject line "congratulations". Along with nine other people from Bendigo, I have been selected to go to Sulawesi in December. You wouldn't believe how incredibly happy I am.

Now I need to frantically fund raise.

(The photo is the plane I boarded for a flight from Yogyakarta to Denpasar in 2002)

how bout that weather eh.

2007-06-09T14:38:00.000+10:00

So I was sitting outside the Pinnaroo Post Office on a seat waiting for my Mum to pick me up the other day. I had just been to the op shop and brought $8 worth of goodies (I swear the best clothes I own are from there) - this includes 4 items of clothing - BARGAIN! Bendigo's op shops are so expensive!

Anyway, I'm innocently sitting there, and this random stranger says to me, "what are you warming up there?" .. It was utterly random and so I said back at him, "Are you kidding! This weather is tropical!"

He goes into the post office, comes back out and asks me, "So where are you from then?" And I said, "Bendigo."

"Oh," he says. "You guys are in a water crisis!"

Then he asked me where I was staying, and I was like, I used to live here, and told him who my mum was.

Then he says, "ahh.. you've inherited her hair!"

What the.. it was totally random!

there's no place like home

2007-06-06T12:12:00.000+10:00

It's funny, Bendigo's water really does have a lot of chemicals in it. I come out of the shower here in Pinnaroo not feeling as clean :P We have rainwater. Who knows what's in it.

When I'm in Bendigo, it's amazing when I see another SA car. In fact, usually it is the most exciting part of my day! (Welcome to the colourful world of Sammy!). It's funny when you're driving down the main street of Pinnaroo, and all the cars have SA number plates! Then I realise that this town also has many stobie poles - wake up toto, we're back in Kansas, well, South Australia.

I'm not missing Bendigo yet. I am really enjoying being home, in the middle of nowhere, away from Bendigo. I don't think I'm going to bother going to Adelaide.

I've been getting a few messages since I left home. I sometimes read them out. Last night I got one from Cara (and another from Mez) and Mum says to me, "You actually have quite a few friends in Bendigo." She's right. Believe it or not, I pretty much grew up with no friends in high school. I was an outcast. A christian, now that's no fun, is it? Beck used to call us two peas in a far out pod.

Talked to the lady who was my 'youth pastor' in Pinnaroo many years ago. She can really identify with a lot of the struggles I am going through at the moment, we are incredibly like-minded 'discerner's', I think that she has kind of brought me up with my mindset, and quite honestly, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I've decided to sell heaps of old junk around the house on eBay - fund raising for Indonesia. I'm also scanning a whole heap of old photos. There may be a 'church camp' here on the weekend. I should be studying. The cat doesn't like me. I'm going to do another hair dye experiment.

Life in South Australia

2007-06-05T11:22:00.000+10:00

I smell like duck poo!

Just thought I'd share a few photos of my time here in Pinnaroo so far... This blog post has taken so long to post because my mums computer is so s..l....o.....w..... But at the same time I am scanning photos from long ago - stay tuned!

Roses grow in South Australia! According to my Mum, Pinnaroo is one of the best climates for them..

My duck (Hi Spatch! I took these for you!)

My bewtiful doggy Basil

There's moss growing in our driveway!

Here's a fact for you: In South Australia most people don't use gas, and in our house EVERYTHING is electric! So that sucks when you live in the most unreliable town for electricity. It's not as fast as gas either, it takes ages to heat up the oven, stove and hot water!

And I couldn't not have a photo of the very famous Stobie Pole

mushroom mushroom...

2007-06-03T22:04:00.000+10:00

A mushroom is soft (character = soft.. compassionate).

Have you ever seen a mushroom that pushes up through cement?

I haven't, but I've heard it happens. I can't wait until I do.

Cement is hard like a brick, yet a mushroom can break through it, despite being soft.

It means that you don't have to be hard to be strong. Think about it.

the hidden curriculum of your life

2007-06-01T17:19:00.000+10:00

Its cold, it's cold, it's COLD! ... But thanks, God for the rain!

To escape this cold weather, I am getting right outta the state. Monday, I am going home. And I'm kind of happy, because I hate Bendigo right now. Perhaps going to somewhere with 'a little less civilisation' will make me feel a whole heap better.

My fish is dead.

I'm waiting the day when I'll be normal, when I can quit being cynical, when I can shake off the feelings that seem to hit my mind. "Oh but Sammy, you're just being discerning!"

It has now been a week since I finished prac. When I first got off it, I thought I'd be a mess, but I'm surprised as to how well I've adapted back into uni life. It certainly has been better having less contact-hours, although, I've been up at 6 nearly every morning anyway to try and get assignments done (I'm a morning person).

Although I've done well getting back into it, today was exceptionally hard. I went back to kids4life much, and to tell you the truth, I struggled to get through the doors. This along with a heap of crankiness caused by stress and no sleep didn't help. The whole time all I could think was about my kids on prac, how you just knew that kids were hurting there. It breaks my heart, and I feel guilty about it.

I felt as though that God was drifting a bit of my attention towards the window, where outside were all the kids that werent at the program (as it is up to the parents as to whether they can participate or not), that He cares about them too! There's so much hurt and hunger that these children are feeling that don't get the chance to be impacted by our program.

But with that I felt that God was telling me that I have a remarkable position as a teacher - I can reach the unreachable. Just because I am not under an official mission or because I am in a public rather than private school, this does not mean I am not doing God's work. Now don't think my life goal now is to go into schools and corrupt students, let me introduce you to a term I have learnt about this semester: The Hidden Curriculum.

The hidden curriculum is basically the unplanned learning, the values that a teacher gives forth to ones students.

Although this is a teacher term, I've been thinking about it a lot lately in how this concept is applied in every day life. We have our curriculum - what we need to get done and achieve, people we need to see, things we need to do. But how we go about it is the important part. What values and 'unplanned learning' happens extended to what we already do? (I hope this makes sense)

These kids trapped in a struggle and
Don't know where they're heading, no
A head full of trouble is all they're getting
And nobody knows the suffering they go through
And you wouldn't believe 'em if they told you

- These kids, Joel Turner and the Modern Day Poets

... and don't tell me off for posting music that isn't J-Pod, because this is reality.

Kids are hurting in the exact same ways I have, if not worse, and I don't think I'm doing enough to reach them...

Feeling a little.. bilingual?

2007-05-30T22:13:00.000+10:00

bi·lin·gual [bahy-ling-gwuhl or, Can., -ling-gyoo-uhl] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –adjective
1. able to speak two languages with the facility of a native speaker.

2. spoken, written, or containing similar information in two different languages: a bilingual dictionary; Public notices at the embassy are bilingual.

3. of, involving, or using two languages: a bilingual community; bilingual schools.
–noun
4. a bilingual person.

Bilingual education is something I am very much interested in.
As you know I study Indonesian as a second language at uni, and have been since 1999. I have found that being bilingual is very rewarding, it extends your knowledge in two languages, and can also give you a bigger cultural awareness.

This has inspired me to create a new blog. This blog is designed for people who are bilingual to practice their languages. If you're bilingual I invite you to comment in this post and I'll sign you up. I've already sent invites out to a few people!

Even if you're not bilingual, head on over and check it out - you may learn something!!

THE BILINGUAL BLOG

How many South Australians does it take to change a light globe?

2007-05-30T13:57:00.000+10:00

On the weekend my bedroom light globe blew.

On monday we went for a walk to Strath Village to get new light bulbs. A phone call from my mum on the way back means that I discover she has already indeed bought light bulbs for me and they're under the sink. We now have a diverse abundance of light bulbs.

Anyway I am still sitting here in the darkness and mercy of lamps. I tried to get the dead globe out, but it seems that it is stuck in there like glue. After much trying to get it out, Claire has a go. After all my trying, and now Claires trying, the light is now dangling from the roof, with roughly 20cm of cords coming out of the roof.

So we've asked the boys around the corner to come and have a look. One of which is South Australian.

If you can make up a funny joke in response to the title of this blog, comment it here! You may win a prize!

The adventures of Steff, Sammy and Australia Post

2007-05-29T23:03:00.001+10:00

This evening Steff and I decided to go on an adventure to the post office down on the corner. Well, it was actually a compulsary trip: my mum needing her jacket, and I needing to post it before 6, Steff coming along for this adventure.

We got the forms all signed, postage paid for, and the lady told us to go and put it in the post box outside (it being rather large), and to stuff it in.

So it is pouring down with rain (we've had 20mm since 9am), and I am outside trying to stuff a rather large parcel into a small hole. I thought I had success, and then, try to close the hatch, and it wont go down, and I can't get it back out! How embarrasing!

Went and got the lady, and told her it was stuck, and we left (after making a run for the car in the freezing cold rain!) when she was trying to fix it!

Just hope mum gets her jacket!

Sulawesi now??

2007-05-29T20:42:00.000+10:00

On the 24th of April, I blogged about a possible job opportunity in Bandung, Indonesia. I am blogging today to tell you... I haven't heard back from the lady, and it has been over a month.

But that's ok, because a very exciting opportunity came up today.

A guy who used to be an Indonesian lecturer at uni (before I started, he now works with ressie services, and also happens to be a christian) turned up at our last Indonesian class for the semester today. He began to talk about a trip to Sulawesi, Indonesia the uni is running at the end of the year. After the bali bombings, and the various dramas following, trips to Indonesia were stopped by schools and universities. Until now, and I have the chance to be involved. The more he talked about it the more and more I wanted to go!

Some info

27 days from November 27 to December 23
Spend time in the capital of Sulawesi: Kendari (pop about 200,000)
Stay with lecturers or other families
Attend Indonesian language and cultural classes
Go on excursions and activities with Indonesian 'buddy'.
Visit an Indonesian villiage 2 hours from the capital, called Lambuya.
Stay with local villagers (sure.. 5 star accomodation!)
Teach about Australian culture and english language at primary and secondary schools
Helping villagers in rice fields (wahahahah! I love rice!)
Identifying future community development possibilities
Visiting a national park
Go on a boat to a tropical island paradise
snorkelling
swimming
a hotel!
relaxing!

Agh! I so want to go. The experience would be rewarding, something I can put on my CV, an unforgettable experience!

There are barriers though, finances being one. But if God wants this, He will provide. Maybe I'll sell my car, or be a little more realistic and get a job.

Some people may get a little judgemental that I am not going with a christian organisation, as a 'missionary'. But I treat my whole life as a mission. The people I meet, the places I go. Even though 'officially' I am not on a 'mission', really, every day of my life, is a mission!

truk

2007-05-27T10:22:00.001+10:00

Today I feel as though I have been hit by a truck.

Yesterday was a very productive day. I did the washing, sorted through my clothes, put things in my lesson plan folder, rearranged my room, and went to Mez's parents house for tea (Mez wasn't there).

None of this, however, was very academic, and I need to get a bit done before uni starts up again for me tomorrow.

Moving all of this furniture has really taken it out of me. At 10pm last night I was on my computer, and felt as though I needed to just go to bed. I was going, and then I only got as far as the floor, and curled up in front of the fan heater on the floor next to me. I woke up at 11:30 to find myself still there, and the whole right side mf my body was numb (I was sleeping on my side.)

I woke up at 10am, meaning I didn't go to church, and felt like a truck had hit me. How do you recover from this? When every muscle and bone in your body hurts? Does this mean I'm unfit or what?

In other news, my room is rather interesting now that it has been re arranged. I can't sit at my desk on the net anymore, I have to sit at my dressing table, or on my bed. Hopefully now I will get more work done. How cute do my 'pets' look?

In other OTHER news: look what I got at K-mart today with Linda:

Yes, George is back! And this time, bigger, and better. Let's see how long this one lasts ;)

ya berantakan!

2007-05-26T11:25:00.000+10:00

I've tried and tried and I can't do it!!

Today is spring cleaning day (Although I am fully aware that it is indeed autumn).

The events of today include:
doing the dishes
drying the dishes
doing washing
sorting out washing
Cleaning the fish tank (hi Cara)
re arranging my room (yipee!)
Going through my clothes and getting rid of the ones I don't wear any more.

And when I mean I'm getting rid of them, that means that you, Beyond South Australia readers have a great chance to get some clothes - FOR FREE! Yes, that's right - FREE! If you see anything you like, just comment in this post or email or phone me within the next week, and it's yours! What's left is either going to the op shop or I'll sell on ebay.

These clothes include:

Jay jays denim jacket - size 14
Millers elastic waist kahki skirt - size 18
Millers elastic waist purple skirt - size 18
Jay Jays purple flowery V-neck tee - size XL
"Go aussie" oldschool brown mens tee - size L? (got it for $2 at an op shop)
Jay Jays B-Star tee with a collar, brown with blue stripes, punk writing on the back - size XL
Long sleeve black target collar top - Size 16
Planet Shakers 2005 brown tee with pink and white logo - size 16
brown wollen jumper with roll-kneck collar (very warm). The only reason I am getting rid of this is because I accidently washed it with warm water and it shrunk. It has sentimental value (my gran gave it to me) - wanting to give it to a good home. - probably a size 10 now.
Mint Lions 1972 tee - size 16
Crossroads strawberry singlet - size XL
Home made christian fish black tank top - size XL
Black four and twenty top. It has yellow writing on the front saying "the great australian taste" and on the back saying "hungry?" It also has the four and twenty logo on the sleeves.
White V neck "fashion targets breast cancer Australia" tee - size 14
White collar top from K-mart, home made "go the fro" on the back.
Jay Jays mens white board shorts with grey and pink skull and cross decorations. Very punk. - size "38"
Pale pink jay jays long sleeved top with diamonds. Looks like theres a long sleeved top underneath. - size XL

Let me know!

selesai

2007-05-25T19:35:00.002+10:00

Here is to the shortest three weeks of my life! It seems just yesterday I was the innocent little student teacher stepping into a classroom full of grade ratty 3/4's.

Today my teaching prac finished.

There are a lot of mixed emotions going on in my mind. Part of me just wants to break down and cry. In fact I'm surprised that I haven't yet. I spent the whole drive home feeling really down. My body is telling me I need some much needed rest - with 2 hours of sleeping this afternoon. I'm a little confused as to why I feel a little emotionless and down.

This morning the kids made me a card (pictured). They weren't exactly subtle about it: "Miss Smedley, what's your favorite colour?... Miss Smedley, how do you spell your name?" Then I had to walk around the class room pretending I didn't know what was going on. Two more students made me a card each in their spare time. Funnily enough they are the two I talked about in my last post. Another made me a picture of a banana flavoured drink. (random!)

At the end of the day, one girl hugged me begging me not to go. The boys all gave me a high 5.

I still haven't found my name badge. I simply don't know where it has gone. Apparently I was telling Claire that I was putting it somewhere safe. The kids haven't known how to spell my name, or even my name full stop. I put it up on the board yesterday, and they had thought I was 'Miss Medley' (I guess the 's' kind of 'blends').

I have learnt a lot on this prac. I have learnt how to yell. I have learnt how to teach PE. I have gained a whole heap more confidence.

"Sometimes home is a refuge from school.
Sometimes school is a refuge from home.
Sometimes there is no refuge."

This prac has been one of the most heart breaking for me. I have not cried like I did on tuesday night for a very long time. It was about one of the girls in the previous post. I hurted so much for her. And although I felt so alone, I think that in a way I was crying God's tears too, as these things do break His heart. Perhaps I took it on board too much, but honestly, it did break my heart. But the thing is, she's not the only one with this problem. It affects so many kids out there.

When I went to Indonesia in 2002, I saw a poverty stricken community that I wanted to help. Sometimes you have to experience these things to realise the need there. Like Indonesia, this experience has unleashed something in me: I want to help these kids.

There is the small possibility I may be able to go back out to the school. I gave the teacher my email.

In other news, I'm thinking of doing ESL (English as a second language) teaching instead of IT next year. Tell me what you think.

pemisahan

2007-05-21T18:14:00.000+10:00

Nine years ago I was in year 4. The year was 1996. When the bell rang one day for everybody to go home, the teacher asked me to stay behind. Now this puzzled me as I had done nothing wrong.

She sat me on her knee, and told me that she knew what I was going through, and that if I ever needed someone to talk to, to just talk to her. At the time I was really puzzled, because I wasn't 100% sure what was really going on.

But soon I would find out what it would be. Divorce. It affects so many kids today. So many are caught in the middle, and many parents don't know how to deal with it. Often parents do not see the actual affects it will have on a child. I think that my anxiety could be as a result of some childhood traumas caused as a result of divorce.

Now in this day and age, that wouldn't be able to do that. But I left that classroom grinning, knowing that she cared. And the day she left the school, I cried myself to sleep. That's all kids often need: is someone to care.

Today, I was faced with a similar situation, except now it is nine years on, and I am at the 'other end'. I am a teacher. Things are different from back then, and my relationship with students needs to be maintained at an upmostly professional level, especially seeing as I am only a student teacher, and at the end of the week, my practicum finishes.

Child 1: "Miss Smedley, I'm sad today."
Miss Smedley: "Oh, how come?" (Not expecting an all too serious answer)
Child 1: "Oh, because my Mum moved out last night..."
Miss Smedley: *something along the lines of "oh, that's not so good"*
Child 2: "Miss Smedley, Did Mr. *teacher* tell you?"
Miss Smedley: "... no..."
Child 2: "Yeah, I'm always sad and depressed, because my parents aren't together either..."
Miss Smedley: (without thinking) "Oh yeah, that happened to me at your age too..."

I kinda just walked away from that conversation, because realistically, what can I do? I don't know the policy on that kind of stuff, and by me saying what I said probably overstepped the line. Especially after that she went around saying, "hey guess what, Miss Smedley is just like me!"

And my teaching prac ends this week. I want to help but don't know how I can. The kid didn't even have lunch. I just hate seeing kids stuck in the middle of a split.

There needs to be help for kids, but also for parents. Parents need to be equipped to make sure their kids don't get stuck in the middle. I know my parents cared, but I don't think they knew how to really deal with it. They were both from families that were together, and hadn't experienced this before.

And all in all, God has his healing hands over his children. This is something I'm going to find wherever I go.

celupan

2007-05-19T11:37:00.000+10:00

I was cleaning the house today, and while cleaning. I unfortunately did not find my La Trobe student teacher badge. I did, however find some hair dye. 3 lots, which would be enough to dye my hair (as my hair is long and thick).

The catch is, they were not all the same colour:

My mum is coming to visit today, so I thought I'd give her a bit of a shock. And I also thought it would be fun to do an experiment.

Here are the three colours out of the packet:
And here are the three colours mixed together:

Here's a 'before' shot:

...and here's an 'after' shot:

What do you think? I think I could have done better. I'm glad I can hide under my new hat. Maybe I'll go another colour soon. Something outrageous, like black or purple.

Last time I dyed my hair was back in December with Steff. We used an 8 wash dye, and it still hadn't come out! Next time Steff and I are going raven red! (Aren't we Steff? Aren't we!)

takberistiri

2007-05-18T22:30:00.000+10:00

Lately there have been a few posts by a few of 'my kind'. (Aliens among you and Here's to singularity and not feeling like the meat tray.) Quite honestly, I have began to feel a little like an alien, like I don't fit in, that I'm 'different'.

Like Sus says, I don't doubt their happiness and I don't think they are doing the wrong thing. And like Spatch says, I'm not jelous.

I'm just single. And I have been for three months.

And I am perfectly content with that at this point of my life. I am seeing my relationship with God go to new depths and heights, and there are some parts of this that I really like. I have my days where I am over it, and then the days where I really am the most content girl in the world.

I didn't really understand this aspect whilst I was in a relationship. But there is a lot of pressure for christians who arent in relationships. I never imagined that I would go through the struggles I would. Friendships I thought would never change have. I struggle going to church where everybody is coupled up, and I feel as though I don't have a lot in common any more. I think that this is an issue of Socialising vs. Fellowship. The church (on the whole) has become a bit of a dating service. And this frustrates me! Because that's not what I'm there for!

But with that, it has opened up new doors of opportunity, and brought me very close to a lovely girl who goes by the name of Mez. We have quite a lot in common, and I have been blessed by her friendship (and her family have adopted me!), a friendship which has really grown in the short time we've really gotten to know her. The catch is, she lives in Ballarat.

My friend Cara (I think you can thank Trav for this one) once gave me an illustration. She said on the train line to Bendigo to Melbourne, Bendigo is just starting a relationship, Melbourne is marriage. Whilst everyone seems to be in Sunbury, I seem to have taken a detour and am lost in South Australia some where.

My values have really changed. I believe love is a choice, but it is also our choice on how we act on it, and what motivates us. I also believe that I need patience to wait on God, as he is the only one that can fufill the desires of my heart. I am wanting God to lead me, for Him to be the center of the choices, and for my heart to just run after Him and to keep my eyes fixed on Him. It's all very exciting about what the future has in store.

Motives are very important. I don't want to enter a relationship with a "what can I get" attitude. I want the motives to be very God-driven. What are my motives for entering a relationship?

In fact, I was contemplating the other day as I was driving home from school at 10:30 in the morning (stupid cold!), I was wondering what life would be like if I was single for the rest of my life? Would that be such a bad thing?

Trust. There is no 'long distance relationship' with God.

Although, I don't think that's quite me. Part of me wants to get married, have kids, and start generations of kids who are going to change the world. Just not yet!

lahir lagi

2007-05-18T17:22:00.000+10:00

I was sitting with some girls today while they did some catch up work, and this is what one of them said:

"I'm so angry. Everyone in my family was born in Geelong except me, I was born in Bendigo. Hmmmph. Next time I'm born, I'm going to be born in Japan!"
One of the girls corrected her: "You can't be born again.."
Another one added: "Yes you can! You can be born again.."

What an interesting discussion that could have turned into if it progressed any further...

melampirkan

2007-05-17T22:45:00.000+10:00

Next week will be the end of my teaching prac. That gives me a week to really shine.

I have enjoyed my time here so much so far, that I am worried that I'll be an emo mess next friday night. I always love getting to know the kids, and hate leaving.

I am really passionate about this area, and am thinking of some how offering my help if they ever need a spare hand. Get involved with the school community (looks good on a CV). I'd love to start a SUPA club out there, or even kids4life!

Attatchment sucks. I'll blog more about that later.

musik

2007-05-17T16:06:00.000+10:00

Want something to listen to?

If you scroll right down to the bottom of my blog, you can listen to some music. So relax, take it easy, and read my blog to some tunes. I'll contiuously add and modify it.

Don't judge my taste by whats on there, my taste in music is pretty varied (and bilingual).

I wonder if I'll start a trend, and if other people will get these on their blogs?

No more Miss-Smedley-nice-guy (or gal)

2007-05-16T20:46:00.000+10:00

I have been giving a lot of thought into what it is I'm actually called to do. I'm a bit bummed that every thursday I am spending on this prac I am not there, which is the day Indonesian is. But I think I get that God has sent me to this school not for Indonesian this time around.

Today was good enough. Feeling a lot better, however my ears have actually been hurting, and my muscles hurt like I've been hit by a truck. I don't know what I've done to myself. I'm really tired too. Blah.

I took a PE lesson today. I don't feel really all that comfortable when it comes to PE. Because it was a repeat lesson, it went a lot better, but at the same time, I'm a little dissapointed in myself. I'd expect myself to be much better at all this by 3rd year.

My supervising teacher hit the problem on the head. His exact words was like something that just totally suddenly made sense. He told me that I was being too much of a nice teacher, he even said I was overly nice. Now whilst this sounds like a wonderful compliment, it's a problem. I need to be firmer, I need to be more authoritative, and a bit harsher, and actually enforce some strategies. I need to just take control of the class. I can do this.

I went to Big W tonight. The intention was going to the market place for shoes. My current shoes are either Dunlop Volleys or my black shoes, which are absolutely no good for winter, or for teaching sport in. In fact, on tuesday when we had the big rain, I was wearing my black shoes, and they're so worn, water was getting in through the soles!

I hate being female. Like totally. For the reason that there is such a big pressure to look in fashion. That I go into shops and feel under a lot of pressure, because the clothes at home look nothing like the ones on the shelf. I don't want to bow to any materialism of this world! But it's a struggle - I want my own style! It's a struggle that is really evident in the church too. I went through a stage where I dreaded sundays, because I had nothing to wear to church.

I ended up getting some leggins to wear under my pants to keep me a bit warmer, considering most of the 'professional' pants are so cold! I got some long sleeved tops too to go under clothes for extra warmth. I saw they had gloves, and this inspired me. I need new gloves, but I only like the ones without the fingers. I also buy childrens ones because my hands are smaller. While on the voyage for looking for these gloves, I found this groovy little hat. It didn't have a price, and it had some stitching undone. Score - a damaged item! Got it cheap! It keeps my head warm. Hopefully it can help me save some money on the warming bills. Read on...

(my new hat!)

When I was at the info desk of Big W trying to ask for a discount on my new hat, I was stuck behind this man, and his three children returning a broken Playstation. He was getting rather angry as the woman at the info desk was trying to tell him to call the company, and that she couldn't help him because he didnt have the right reciept. But he just ended up getting really angry, waving his fists at her. She was pretty upset by the whole thing. While this whole ordeal unfolded, a few things were running through my mind.

The first was that when I went to a Scripture Union gathering once. We were talking about the concept of blessing people. We got onto just simply being in the post office, being polite to the person at the counter, thanking them for their time. I knew that when this man left I wanted to be the opporsite for this lady, and be polite, as she looked as though she was about to cry. In fact, when he left, she walked off and another lady served her. (See Romans 12:14)

Then second thing that went through my mind was this mans actions, and the role model he was being to his children. What concerned me is what he was like at home. In my mind I began to pray for this family, and for the kids.

I have come to the discovery that Bendigo is a lot lower socio-economic than I initially thought. The thought of this scared me today, moreso the fact that if I end up teaching in a really low school. But the thing is, I could, and possibly will, do a lot worse than a Bendigo school. Am I too scared to go into a battlefield?

My good friend Christop, whom I have never met, but I read his blog, deals with this kind of stuff a lot. The people he meets and the places he goes are real battlefields. In fact I'm sure a lot of us are in them. But how far are we willing to go to reach out to these people?

And just now, through all of this I have been thinking, that there is so much of Bendigo untouched. There is so much of this city that is hurting, and we have the answer. There are kids who only know Jesus as a swear word.

We were talking on sunday night how teenagers are lost, but it starts with childhood. School definately isn't what it was when I went there.

And then I thought about what we (that is, kids4life) are doing in Bendigo. Currently we have 8 (I think) SUPA clubs in Bendigo (one of which I help out at in Golden Square) out of quite a lot of schools. I see such a need for 'my area' (well for now) in Bendigo. There is not a supa club at my school. Kids4life doesn't really target the kids in my area, and plus it's too far out. But I see the potential for growth with them, but really that's not up to me. Upmostly that is up to God, but then it's up to the leadership.

Anyway, someone comment, I'd really love you to share your thoughts.

And rate my new hat out of five stars!

cuaca

2007-05-15T18:01:00.000+10:00

I'm so home sick, I decided to pretend I was driving in Adelaide when I was driving home. Funny thing is, it didn't look like Bendigo with the amount of rain and green. Isn't it beautiful?

Sorry for the huge influx of blog posts that you probably don't find very interesting. I find blogging as a bit of a release.

Today I yelled. I yelled at a kid! He was constantly misbehaving so I actually raised my voice at him - I couldn't believe myself (please note: Sammy yelling at kids probably isnt as dramatic as you think). He was continuously stuffing around and wasn't paying attention, which was rather dissapointing. Must be the rain.

I need to quit comparing myself. I try to be as good as my supervising teacher, but I really think I'm trying too hard. I need to just be me. That doesn't mean I don't persevere, and try hard. I need to remind myself that he has been doing this for something like 8 years, I'm not even out yet. Of course he's going to be that little more perfected than me. I hate the expectations I have on myself like everythings a competition.

But alas, prac is still going good, but is challenging at the same time. Let's just say I'm not really a PE teacher.

I really don't like Harry Potter.

It was right what my friend told me about christianity being the only religion it's ok to hate.

I am dribbling.

I am tired

Someone, please send me a comment, or an email - doesn't anyone love me anymore??

I am having satay stir fry for tea - yum.

Anyway, my friend Kerri sent me these jokes, they cheered me up. Enjoy!

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .

MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?

CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
____________________________________________

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

__________________________________

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten
years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."

MILLIE: I is...

TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."

MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

_________________________________

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also
admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.

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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

______________________________

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog.

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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher