half way around the world and back

I didn't expect today to be so full on. I was lying in bed, when at 9:30 my phone rang. One of my friends son had an accident at football and she had no car, meaning she needed a ride to the hospital. That was all good, because I love doing things for my friends, and would do anything for them. The only glitch was she was in Castlemaine. So I got myself ready and within 5 minutes I was out the door to Castlemaine. It seems to take so long just getting out of Bendigo!

I was in Castlemaine for about 2 minutes, and got her and her other kids in the car and headed over to the Bendigo hospital.

If something happens to me, please don't take me to the Bendigo hospital. It is a really scary place. Walking through the emergency ward brought back memories of when my grandpa was in ICU. It made me feel incredibly mergh.

Came home and within half an hour I got a phone call and got my friend and her kids and took her back to Castlemaine. Spent about an hour in Castlemaine drinking milo and playing with her kids, and then headed 'home' again. Although, I guess I had something else on my mind. I went towards Melbourne to see how far away Kyneton was. It being 33km away, I kept going, as it has been something I have been meaning to do for a while. After a brief toilet stop at what was like haunted public toilets, I went to the cemetry to visit my late auntie Joan, and picked some leaves for her. I called my auntie and mum while I was there. It was all very exciting, and very much so, cold.

I'm tired. And I have a 21st to go to, that I really don't want to. I just want to stay home. I know once the girls come over to my house I'll cheer up. I just feel so blah. I hate hospitals.

(how retro is my dad's purple car though! Wish he still had it!)

very useful things

Last night I had a nightmare that I took a bus to Adelaide and lost my luggage, and it supposedly went on a train to Melbourne. A scary kind of dream for a person like me (and yes, it has happened before)

I think it was a subtle hint from God: loose the baggage.

it's over for now

So today I finished my last exam for the semester, meaning I am now 'free'...

.. I'm bored already..

a lot of emotions and thoughts are going on right now about the end of semester, it being one of the hardest semesters I have had to endure, the fact that I am now well over half way done, and just life in general.

Ever get that feeling of 'alone'? Not lonely, just alone. Like isolated. Around heaps of people you still feel alone.

No, I'm not going home these holidays. Going home costs me $100 round trip, as well as the pressure to go to Adelaide. I'm trying to stay away from the shops, and just trying to eat the abundance of food already in the cupboard. These holidays I will try and get a job. Many engagement parties and 21sts there are also an abundance of.

I'm feeling artistic. I'm off to paint a picture! =]

don't turn off the lights!

When I was a little kid, before I had even started school, I was innocently watching one of my favorite movies on a betacord video machine (oldschool, before VHS and DVD). Anyway, suddenly, the switch went up, and made a large BANG, all of the lights throughout the house went off.

Terrafied, I ran into the office where Mum and Dad were. Here began a long fear of black outs. I was still scared of them when I was a teenager. Living in Pinnaroo, where the power went off every time the wind blew it seemed, where as soon as you heard there was a storm coming you would get the candles and torches out ready, and up to this day, the black outs are for extended amounts of time, usually about 20 hours.

But I left the world of frequent black outs to the state of abundance: Victoria. In my time here I have only experienced on average, 1 black out a year. Usually it is not too scary, as I lived on a residence with at least 7 other people. Then last night, came the 2007 black out. This time I don't live on campus. I handled it quite well, although, in the back of my mind I remembered how much black outs would scare me. The strange thing about this blackout is that although we had no power, all the suburbs around us did.

After 2 games of uno, we decided to go out to Lansell, where they had power.

It made me think, though, how much we rely on electricity, especially considering it is so cold, and our heating relies on electricity. I wonder where I truly would be without it?

It is incredibly hard to post a blog like this when you at the same time are watching this.

5 things I 'dig' about Jesus

I have been tagged by Susan to write 5 things I 'dig' about Jesus. I think it's going to be hard just to choose 5 (see John 21:25).

OK, here it goes..

1. I love that my walk with Jesus is completely personal, it is mine, I am unique and nobody can take it away. It's like when you get this revelation, and you're incredibly excited, and then nobody cares, but you just know it is God, and that he has inspired you, and just you, are incredibly inspired.. you know? No, I'm not making sense am I..

2. He is so jentle, kind, but so powerful and strong! He can calm the raging seas, and the sound of His name is just incredibly powerful!

3. Although I constantly find myself not fitting in, I know that because of Jesus I want to stand out!

4. That it's not by my might, or by my strength, but His spirit moving in my life.

5. His banner over me is love, His love. His LOVE! How can you ever uproot that!!!


And now, I tag Spatch and Bec (She likes these taggy things, or just keeps getting tagged!)
***

In other news I have got 3 new fish and a snail. There's a fish with spots (Burkie), a gold fish (Beth) and one with an orange shell (turtle).. Plus my snail, who is black (Steff)

the melBOURNE identity

It has been a massive weekend.

It all started friday, at 9am, with an Indonesian exam. After that, and chasing Nita around for our assignments she lost, Tegan took me home where I quickly packed for Ballarat/Melbourne. I walked to the train station (Panic attack #1), got there 45 minutes before the bus was going to leave, so I got a good old danish from Bakers Delight.

Upon leaving, came panic attack, probably #5. Mez was on the other end of the phone trying to calm me down.

A friend pointed it out to me that if I am so afraid doing this - how will I be in Indonesia? Good question. Indonesia is a huge, well, desire of mine. I want to go and be utterly out of my comfort zone. But if my comfort zone was not even going out of a km of my house - how was I going to cope?

The fear was irrational, and didn't make sense, and seemed to be random.

I got to Ballarat, and as soon as Mez picked me up I was fine. I felt safe being with Mez in her car, and felt like everything was going to be ok.

We went out for tea to the Ballarat version of La Porchetta, apon getting there I saw the librarian from my former high school - bizarre!

After talking many random photos we went to Mez's church's youth group, played this bizarre game called binsies. Never again! The pastor spoke about fasting. I guess fasting is something I have never really given much thought about, or understood completely. It was good to finally get some sense around it.

After that we went ventured through a very thick but utterly typical Ballarat fog to a special McDonalds which serves chocolate soft serve. (The photo is of one I got in the special glenelg McDonalds in Adelaide)

The next day Mez dropped me off at the station before work. I met up with Turtle to go to Melbourne on the train with her. The panic began again.

We got off the train, wandered around Melbourne, and went to a food court to the best BEST thing I have ever tasted - Torts. They're like a yiros (oh, sorry victorians... kebabs) but ever so fresh!!!

After this we went to an incredibly expensive bookstore with Indonesian books. I can get my dictionaries half that price at my uni! After this we hopped on a train out to Belgrave (being rediculously early for Burkie to pick us up) and sat in the Puffing Billy cafe (I think we're up to about panic atack #36 at least) and drank a POT OF GREEN TEA FOR $2! I could definately live in this part of Melbourne.

Burkie came and picked us up (yay Sam!) from Belgrave, and finally it felt like the panic had stopped, just like when I got in the car with Mez. We ran around to the supermarket, the cheese cake shop, and various other places, which was a lot of fun and very entertaining indeed.

Finally we arrived at Burkie's fionce's house. Her name is Beth and she is incredibly gorgeous! I hadn't met her before, and she is just awesome! I met lots of people, helped make artistic fruit platters, and generally had a great time. Once the party began, I met some people of the gush variety, both new and old, and a girl who is studying Indonesian by corrospondance in Melbourne.

I really enjoyed meeting Beth and seeing Burkie again. They are so perfect for each other. I look at them and just can't stop smiling!!!

Back to Belgrave and the panic starts again. Connex cancelled our train so we had to do a bit of the transferring at Ringwood thing.

Got into the city, went to the shops, met some lost farmers, saw DFO (look, but don't touch!), and got on my train back to Bendigo.

I struggled to keep awake on the train. I found myself dosing off, and I tried incredibly hard to stay awake. I soon found myself in a deep sleep, until a conductor woke me up asking for my ticket.

Got back into Bendigo after having to coach it from Castlemaine at a bit after 6. Caught the taxi home and was just in time for 'church'. Luckily 'church' is near me, so I can walk.

I sat at church feeling rather meh. Along with being tired, I was sick of this anxiety plaguing my life. I just.. sat there, the whole time. I didn't want to do anything, in fact the thought of just leaving crossed my mind a few times. Because 'church' only had 6 people there including myself, I didn't leave. I just.. sat there. This wasn't anybodies fault. It wasn't the structure or anything, it was just me and my attitude and feelings.

Basically in the last few months I have shut off. I used to open up everything and suddenly I was bottled up. I didn't know who to turn to. This became an incredible problem.

I stayed behind, and a friend knew that something was really, not right. I opened up, I finally did it. And she was quick to call a few people and we all prayed together. It was an incredibly liberating.

So I guess I've learnt a lesson. It's like Age Rowse says, take a risk and tell someone. What's the worst that could happen - right?

This song was sung at my grandpa's funeral (in 2003), and how true it is: (note, if something happens to me, I want this at my funeral too!)

What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do your friends despise, forsake you? Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms He’ll take and shield you; you will find a solace there.