there already is a happy ending...

She has dreams. So many huge dreams that just seem so unreachable right now. She wants to get up, progress and move forward. She wants to just travel around the big city lights. She wants to get on an aeroplane and fly to a distant land.

But irrational fear stops her, and with her perseverence she just seems to freeze and fall down. She fears that everybody will look at her and think that her big, awesome, God isn't so big and awesome after all. They will think she is just one giant hypocrite, that she obviously isn't serving the God she has claimed to. Besides, she has God, why does she have such high levels of anxiety, right? She is convinced that people will see this as a result of the choices she has made in the past six months. What should it matter what other people think?

She falls and feels like the fear paralyses her from any rational thought. She is scared to ask for help, but gives in, cries out, and someone hears. They pick her up, walk with her, talk with her, pray with her, just the sound of the voice of a friend seems so strengthening and renewing.

She then runs into the arms of God, so drained, she falls asleep in his hand, incredibly comforted. All of the stresses and pain and weaknesses she just totally surrenders, lets go, and rests in this mighty hand.

God whispers and reminds her that healing takes time, that He is always near, to meditate on His word and to continuously rest in Him.

Psalm 91

1 He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.”

3 Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler
And from the perilous pestilence.
4 He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
5 You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
6 Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.
8 Only with your eyes shall you look,
And see the reward of the wicked.

9 Because you have made the LORD, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
10 No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
11 For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.
12 In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
13 You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.

14 “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
15 He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him,
And show him My salvation.”

jururawat

Here's something I don't think you know about me: I went through high school wanting to be a nurse! You wouldn't think it, would you?

It has all been coming back to me since I've been watching reruns of All Saints on Prime. It used to be my favorite show, Libby Tanner was my idol, and Georgie Parker is an awesome actor.

Unfortunately, our local tv station (only station at the time apart from abc) was taken over from channel nine, and I didn't get to see any more of channel seven until I moved to Bendigo (which was quite a few years). We only got channel 10 half way through my year 12 (2004). Even still, I don't watch a lot of TV.

I dont think I would have made the best nurse, I hate hospitals. I become sick enough being around kids.

It was an interesting show today. There was a girl with a heart condition who died but they revived her. She came back and she was sitting there absolutely amazed, saying that she saw a bright light, and had met God. She claimed that God had told her everything was going to be all right, and that the rest of her life was going to be happy. She needed to be rushed to surgery to get better, but died on the way. Her husband couldn't understand. He thought she was going nuts, and especially now, since she said that God said the rest of her life would be happy. But clearly, sitting there in her bed with a big grin on her face, she was indeed happy she had just seen God.

The topic of God often comes up in this show, I don't know if it does any more, but I think that's because Terry (Parker) is a nun.

All Saints is still around, but I havent bothered to watch the episodes on it, because neither Bron (Tanner) or Terry is there any more. Maybe next tuesday night I'll tune in.

Take the AS Character Test

gembira

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

excited
excited
excited

I dont know if this is bad to be this excited or not.

AHAHAHA. I just want to shout from the rooftops how great my God is.

God has been so evident in the events of today. The fact that I didn't have Mez there holding my hand, and I having the courage that God had put in me to go the places I went without hesitance - it was God. He is so real, and He lives in me!

And this excites me. I've had some really, like, wow things spoken over my life, specifically over the next few weeks of my life, and this just blows me away.

But with my excitement I just want to tell someone all of this! But will they think I'm crazy? So far it seems so.. This, in this blog, is just a snapshot.

Honesty.

I just want to write this down, capture this little bit of history of this feeling on my blog. I know the feeling will die down, and I know that the feeling will go to the other extreme, because that's what happens. Life is always a roller coaster, up and down.

But on that note I will share this with you:

Habakkuk 3:17-19
17 Though the fig tree may not blossom,
Nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail,
And the fields yield no food;
Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
And there be no herd in the stalls—
18 Yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will joy in the God of my salvation.
19 The LORD God ^[c] is my strength;
He will make my feet like deer’s feet,
And He will make me walk on my high hills.

Blessed be the name of the Lord! Blessed be His glo-ho-horious name! :P

It's going to be an exciting prac!

God has ADD

It's true! I swear. I think I am a creation person after all!

"look at me, Sammy, look at me! Look! Look! Look at me now! Look, look look now what I'm doing!"

I think I've become a nature admirer. I've had this thing for clouds lately. We've had some beautiful clouds and storms over Bendigo lately.

Just ask my housemate Claire how much I'm obsessed with clouds. We were sitting out the back yard and I was in total awe of this cloud.

The other night I was staying with Cara. She lives a little bit out of Bendigo now. I like going out there because it's really peaceful. A real change, as I live pretty close to the city near a very busy road. (can you tell I'm from Pinnaroo, land of no-cars and technology?). At about 4 in the morning, there was this absolute massive downpour of rain, thunder and lightning! At first, my anxiety kicked in and I felt really scared. My mind went in and out of, is my car safe, is my underwear on the line going to end up in Mandurang? Stupid little Sammy-thoughts. But then God was doing his ADD thing. "Bang, crash, flash! Sammy, look at me! Look at me Sammy am I not pretty? You have nothing to fear, this is Me! Bang, crash, flash!" Yes God, YES GOD, OK. But it's 4am and I have to be at church tomorrow.. No, actually. I felt really happy and content. I wanted to stay up and watch God all night! I felt safe. I felt like the same God who is putting on a mighty storm out there was also looking out for me, and knows the number of hairs on my head.

After church the next day, God did the same thing. The clouds formed a beautiful storm over the city. More and more of "look at Me! Sammy!" Bang crash flash...

Days go on, and I am continuously telling Claire that I love the clouds outside.

Last night I was with Cara again, and I was telling her and Sandy how much God has ADD, and is screaming "look at Me! I'm pretty!"

Then today, I was innocently doing something on my computer when I heard God again.. "booooom. Thunder! Look at me Sammy!!!" So I go and lie on my bed and look out the window. I'm just like, wow God.. Then I fell asleep!!

After I woke up, Cara came around to find me very dopey and sleepy. We went out for tea at this Turkish place on Mitchell Street for a 'kebab' (get it right, it's a Yiros stupid Victorians, a kebab is meat on a stick!). As we were innocently eating, there was this glorious sunshower. It was actually really bizarre. More, "hey look at me now! weeee!" Usually sunshowers don't last for long. This lasted for a good 20 minutes, and stayed in the exact same spot (we were on the edge of it). It seemed so bizarre, there was heaps of wind but no movement of the rain! At one stage I went outside to investigate (perhaps it was a leak somewhere.) But yeah, it was God, showing off again :P

When we were walking back to the car, I noticed a rainbow.. Oh God you really are showing off now!

How awesome to think that this great mighty God who puts on all of these weather displays is looking after us! It makes me fall more and more in love with who He is. Yep, maybe I'm a creation person after all!

The Abused

"When you were abused, so was He..."

I came up with the idea for this drawing on a bus last week, while I was pondering about how horrible my somebody had been to me.

I felt violated, upset and this really hurt. I felt like I'd been emotionally and verbally abused.

This made me think about abuse a bit. Millions of children all over the world are abused in many different ways, be it physically, emotionally, spiritually or verbally, or however else. Emotional abuse is the leader in child abuse, with 34% of cases. [read this PDF!]

In a spiritual sense, we always would tell someone that God is there. And if you try to visualise it, where do you think he would be? I think that many would visualise Him standing there watching. I don't think that at all. I think that Jesus was there, in that situation, feeling the same, if not more, pain that you were. In fact, there would be NOTHING he wouldn't understand. That's what I'm trying to represent in the painting. All those scars, he has them, and more.

"If God really cared about me he wouldn't have let this happen to me." My friend, he does care. In fact one day you will probably realise something good come out of this situation. It could be you become a good friend for someone else. Like Adrian Rowse says, use the situation to get closer to God.

Abuse is wrong. Tell someone about it. I cannot stress this enough. Be it you or a friend, or yourself, tell someone! (Take the risk) Often this is easier said than done.

This is something I am afraid of. In 2 years I will be a fully qualified teacher. Child abuse often goes unnoticed in so many children. How can I put a stop to that?

Anyway, I'll leave it there, but I'd really appreciate some comments on this.

Isaiah 53:4-5

4 Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
smitten by him, and afflicted.

5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.

Singular hope

I heard this really good sermon by a guest speaker at my church a few weeks ago. He spoke about being 'single', and it wasn't merely aimed at young people. I didn't realise that so many older people are single, and this can be for various reasons such as they never married, widowed, divorced, etc. I am not single, nor do intend on becoming that. But something I have learnt from this is that we all nonetheless in a relationship need that 'God space'.

The focus scripture of this is 1 Corinthians 7:17-24, 32-35:

17Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.
18Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised.
19Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God's commands is what counts.
20Each one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him.
21Were you a slave when you were called? Don't let it trouble you—although if you can gain your freedom, do so.
22For he who was a slave when he was called by the Lord is the Lord's freedman; similarly, he who was a free man when he was called is Christ's slave.
23You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men.
24Brothers, each man, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation God called him to
...
32I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord.
33But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.
35I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

Going back to verse 17:

Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.

We are 'called' every day. For example, what is the role of a teacher, mother, father, .. Mother Theresa? Now Mother Theresa, her calling would have been very different if she did not have kids. In a biblical sense, Hagar raised Ishmael alone, Naomi raised her sons alone and Moses was raised by Pharaohs daughter!

So, is being single a good or bad thing?
Going back to verses 32-34:

I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.

In this scripture, Paul is implying that it can be better to NOT be married! Like, woah. Being single (if just for now, times to come, or even for ever) can be a chance to devote and grow in God. Now that actually sounds good. Some people are actually single because they feel they want to grow in Christ.

Another passage noteworthy at the moment, Phillippians 4:12-14.

12I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
13I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
14Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles.

Coming out of a failed marriage people can feel like a 'second class christian'. This can usually be the way people treat others.. in a church!! God shows us grace and love. Do we show the same back?

So, does it feel like your dreams are fading away? I know it sounds cliché, but PRAY. God fufills the desires of our heart! And He uses circumstances! Jesus didn't promise a care free life, but one that is full in christ!

All fall short

In the recent past, a friend came to me and revealed something about them that would have been hard to tell someone.

What they told me was something that often christians would react in a way which would blind them from their sight.

But all I felt was love for this person. A feeling of compassion came over me.

In the past (just not as recent), I came to a friend and revealed something about myself that was extremely hard to tell someone.

I dont exactly know what that persons reaction was in their head or their heart, but I do know that no matter how bad whatever was going on, they still very much have loved me and maintained a lot of respect despite my flaws.

It happens a lot in todays society. I see people walk away from God, or struggle with something, and sometimes christians can react in a way that isnt so loving, and judgemental.

We need to keep reminding ourselves that we have all fallen short of the glory of God, that we should not judge, or God will also judge us, and that we should love each other or we're going to be useless. It also says in the bible to help others that go through all kind of things.

Nobodies sin is greater or lesser than yours. WE ARE ALL SINNERS! And there's nothing we can do about it. But God is an ever-forgiving God.

I guess what Im trying to say is dont turn your back on people with some problems. Its a mistake too many christians make today. We say we are loving, and compassionate but we turn the struggling away.

I guess this leads up to what the pastor will be speaking about at my church in the upcoming sunday night services about Issues todays church faces. At first I thought this was going to be very confronting, but I think that it is going to be really good to hear.

kids ministry

But Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.
Luke 18:16

Today I went to a training day for a mission that I am hoping to be involved in in Janurary.

I didnt know what to get out of today, but I think I got more than I origionaly thought I would. A lot of things hit me in my personal walk today. Thats kind of interesting when you're here for a kids ministry thing.

This will probably get long, so if you dont have a lot of time, stop reading now. From here on, the red text is my thoughts on stuff that was said today, and stuff I'd appreciate comments on.

The purpose statement for the ministry is this: "We exist to have a relationship with God, and flowing from that, to see people connected with God, welcomed into his family and equipped for ministry."

Relationship

• Love the Lord your God with all your heart.
• 1"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes^[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. 3You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

  5"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. 8This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. John 15:1-8.
  

• If we're not in it with God, then we'll just be put into the fire because we are fruitless and worthless.
• There's a difference between doing and being. Ever been asked what you do? And there's always the response of teacher, or a nurse, or student.. etc? In our culture, a lot of "who we are" can be shaped around "what we do". So what is your identity? Is it in who you are, or what you do? If this mission is to be ran simply on doing (because you must do stuff too! Its not a one way street!) and not being, there will be no spiritual fruit and we will burn out!
• To my 'unsaved' friends, they probably know me as Sammy, what I do, study education, they know I go to church but I dont talk about it enough. Who I am? Probably the biggest thing that comes out is South Australian. And who are you?
  

Connected

• "Go and make disciples" [not converts]. The difference between a disciple and merely a convert is a disciple is someone who follows Jesus, wheras a 'convert' simply hasnt gone anywhere yet.
  
• Kids can respond to God in a real way, and God wants to use kids to build his kingdom.
  

Welcomed

• "baptise them". (That doesnt mean litterally immerse them with water at the mission)
• Need to think about children who dont go home to christian families. Some arent even allowed to go to church - what happens to them then?
  

Equipped

• As above, make disciples, not just converts.
• Help christian kids be all that God wants them to be!
• Need to teach them how to grow as christians (prayer, mentoring, bible, worship, fellowship...)

Ministry

• "Love your neighbour as yourself."
• Kids can minister to others
• No one is too young to serve Jesus and make a difference.
• Instill confidence in kids to use their gifts. God can use gifts as much as he can use us.

Prayer

• Why pray?
  Well, to talk to God! God desires communication. He has commanded us to pray, and things change when we pray. Its the same as with a relationship with a friend. If you dont talk to them, or you refuse to listen, what kind of friendship is that???
• Evangelism is most ineffective without prayer. The enemy will tremble when you pray. Not praying is like a soldior without a weapon. Prayer is a weapon - use it!
• Prayer is the (not a) key to evangelism. It increases our effectiveness as witnesses for christ. The spiritual battles must be fought with spiritual weapons. (see ephesians 6:12). A person can only be released from Satans grip by the power of God. There's darkness and there's light. You can only be under 'dominion' of one.
• How does prayer work?
  God acts in response to to our prayers - victories won in the spiritual realm! Those we pray for are changed. The church will be changed, we will be changed.
• Spiritual strongholds can be seen (and unseen) in kids here in Bendigo. Some things that the devil uses to stop kids coming to christ are mindsets, situations, afflictions, influence, humanism/materialism taught in schools (aghh!), negative portrayal of christianity, whichcraft and abuse.
• Pray...
  ... in unity, "when two or gather in my name I will be with them"
  ... persistently - Dont do it enough
  ... with discernment
  ... in the power of the spirit -
  ... with authority -
  ... with repentance
  ... with fasting - something I dont know a lot about
  ... specifically
  ... with faith
  ... with people - a bit like unity
  ... by claiming Gods promises - something I need to explore
  ... for people
• Lost for ideas to pray for? Try for God to draw people to himself, for more workers for the harvest field, for Gods kingdom to come, for the church, for God to be glorified, for the salvation of people.
• Prayer strategies: 24 hour mondays (do you think it'd be wrong to do this during SOSE lectures?), Days of prayer and fasting, prayer newsletters, team members using intercessory gifts, Prayer walking.
• More: ecclesiasties 2:26 and Exodus 12:35.

Someone's brilliant speech about child development (refresh my memory from uni!)

Maslows heirachy of needs!

To achieve growth, the needs that need to be met are self esteem, belongingness and love, safety, and physiological needs. Plain and simple!

My thoughts on childrens ministry...

There is really a special place in my heart for kids ministry. Gosh, Im becoming a teacher, for goodness sake! But I have a personal testimony that prooves the importance of children hearing about Jesus at a young age... By giving this testimony I am not looking for sympathy, but it is basically something I really want to give glory to God for, and possibly encourage others to think and pray about this issue for kids in their community.

My parents were not christian. But for some odd reason, my sister and I always went to sunday school. I think it may have been because of the fact that the church was desperate on numbers, and needed to rely on the wider community, because I remember a lot of my friends that were also not from churched homes went as well (unless there was some kind of strange mini temporary revival in the early 90's that I dont know about). Yes, every sunday, mum would dress my sister and I up in our prettiest dresses and off we went to sunday school.

When I got that bit older, I was able to go to KUCA camp-out (Kids of the Uniting Church Australia) that was always held at West Beach caravan park in Adelaide. This was quite often the highlight of my year.

When I was 8, my parents seperated. This was really difficult as a child of my age. I was a mess - at 8!!!

I was still going to Kids Camp Out and there was this desire within me to know God. The church gave me a Good News Bible (with pictures!) and I started to read it. Not a lot made sense though. I signed the commitement at the back of the bible. I have this bible here with me in Bendigo. I would have been 10 when I decided to sign this:

On this date:

1/4/97

I recieved God's offer. Jesus forgave me and became my Saviour and Lord. His spirit came to live in my life.

SJSmedley

(signed)

One night I woke up at a very odd hour and I was really frightened. What did I start to do? I prayed. I didnt fully understand or know God, I was only about 10, but I called out to him, I told him I trusted him. I remember a peace flow through me, and I went back to sleep.

This came and went. God was a big part in my life, but I didnt really understand a lot.

In 2001, there was a similar scenario as above, except things were different. I was in a bit more of a wreck. I was in year 9 at school, 14 years old. The church had invited me on an 'easter camp' . This was with a whole bunch of youth from around the reigon. I was not the nicest of kids. I was swearing, I was cursing, I was a plain wreck. But on the last night of that camp I gave my life to Jesus for real. Someone hugged me that night and said that my life would never be the same again. Gosh, were they right!

Later that year I revisited what I'd signed at the end of my bible. I put a cross through it, and rewrote:

On this date

23/10/2001

I recieved God's offer. Jesus forgave me and became my Saviour and Lord. His spirit came to live in my life.

SJSmedley

Relating this all back to life for kids today in not only where I live now, but the world. There are kids, facing the same stuff as I have, just like that, all over the city. I was an outcast because my family was broken, but these days it is very normal for kids to be in these situations. It is more and more common, and there are worse things happening. Peer pressure, hurt, abuse! Its not ok to be bound by these things!

I want to influence this generation, because they again will be the next generation of influence. We need to reach out to those who are hurting!

When I got a bit older and maturer in my walk with God, I got involved with my childrens ministry in my home town. At one stage I was in a position of influence with the youth as well. It was a bit depressing to have to move, land in a new environment, and 'start over', and its great to get back into it. I have to go home on tuesday, I might just revisit the kids ministry there.

I will now leave you with a verse that is at the bottom of the signing-commitment of my Good News Bible, which has now occured to me how true and real it has been in my life over these nearly 12 years now.

"Everyone who calls out to the Lord for Help will be saved."
Romans 10:13