wally and grace

I brought some fish yesterday, redirect to my dA for more:

• My fish
• A Christmas for my fish
  

Feel free to comment here

a song that saved my life

over a month ago I was going through a really bad patch. A friend of mine e-mailed me out of concern. He emailed me a copy of this song:

Skillet- The last night

[ listen to it on YouTube ]

You come to me with scars on your wrist,

You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this.

“I just came to say goodbye,

I didn’t want you to see me cry, I’m fine”

But I know it’s a lie

This is the last night you’ll spend alone

Look me in the eye so I know you know

I’m everywhere you want me to be

The last night you’ll spend alone

I’ll wrap you in my arms and I won’t let go

I’m everything you need me to be

Your parents say everything is your fault

But they don’t know you like I know you; they don’t know you at all

“I’m so sick of when they say:

‘It’s just a phase, you’ll be okay. You’re fine’”

But I know it’s a lie

This is the last night you’ll spend alone

Look me in the eye so I know you know

I’m everywhere you want me to be

The last night you’ll spend alone

I’ll wrap you in my arms and I won’t let go

I’m everything you need me to be

The last night away from me

The night is so long when everything’s wrong

And if you give me your hand, I’ll help you hold on

Tonight, tonight

This is the last night you’ll spend alone

Look me in the eye so I know you know

I’m everywhere you want me to be

The last night you’ll spend alone

I’ll wrap you in my arms and I won’t let go

I’m everything you need me to be

I won’t let you say goodbye

And I’ll be your reason why

The last night away from me, away from me

First of all I need to confirm that I was not suicidal. I am not a suicidal person, because I would be absolutely scared to a) die, and b) face God after I did something like that.

Now before you get all angry about this being a song that sounds suicidal, it has a fantastic point to it.

I just think this is a fantastic song, because it has so much truth in it. God is everything we need. We will never be alone. It's just wow. Self explanatory. This song made me cry, it made me feel valued, and a bit special.

So the thanks for this goes out to Tim. This song 'saved my life', share it with a friend today and save theirs.

walking on egg shells

Have you ever felt like to be in ministry you need to be almost perfect or fit into a certain criterea?

I strongly believe that you will never find a church that is 100% perfect. We are made to be imperfect; it is God that makes us perfect in his sight.

So the criteria I've noticed? Of course firstly you need to be a fully committed Christian, and that is definitely always going to be a must have, and I fully agree. Other things that you maybe shouldn’t do are date a non-Christian, watch certain movies, gamble, etc etc. I guess what is most scary is that I could tick a few of these off, that if I were to have such a place in ministry, I’d be long gone. I think that it is important though to have these rules, because ministry is where you become a role model to other people, however what about the sins that we can hide deep in our hearts that nobody sees? The lust, greed, and everything else?

So this one day, I decided that I wanted to live my life like this: I tried not to sin. I tried not to do anything that if anyone found out would kick me out of my imaginary ministry. And I can tell you, with all that was going on at the time, and with everything life threw at me, it felt like I was walking on egg shells. Soon I realised that it was hard not to sin, and that we were made sinful, and I’d just have to live with it. I also realised that I was too busy trying not to do things that wouldn’t let me be in this ministry, that I forgot all about what it was that God actually required of me.

So, what is ministry? I believe that ministry can be a leadership, or ministering to ministerees (I just made that word up) of any shape, size or form. I don’t think you need to be up on a stage to be involved in ministry. I don’t think you even need a police check. Ministry can be one beggar, trying to help another beggar to find bread. I don’t think you need to be ‘official’ in anything to be in a ministry. Jesus ministry is for everyone.

We are all sinners. The one in ministry is no better than the one in the pew. I think that it is important for those leaders to be an example of Gods saving grace. That they are not worth it, but because of God’s grace in their life, they are justified and made righteous.

Jesus has called us to have a free life, that doesn't mean being reckless, but it doesnt mean walking on eggshells either.

Guess what! If you’re a Christian, you’re in ministry. It’s our job to tell people about Jesus, and build up those who already know about Him. So how is your ministry going, anyway?

Day by Day

(I'm so sorry about my use of you tube, its the only means I can find - can you help me out, Tim?)

Point of Grace - Day by Day
I'm not unhappy but I'd take the train today
If you'd let me
If you'd let me
They may be clapping for me but I wait for you to come get me
Come, come get me

Cause day by day you're coming closer
Making our way clearer and straighter
Turning our faces into the light
And I can't wait to fall at your glory
On my face, God of the morning
You're coming closer
Day by day

Somebody told me I could travel the world
To find beauty
To find beauty
But to behold it I would have to carry it within me
Yeah well it's in me

Cause day by day you're coming closer
Making our way clearer and straighter
Turning our faces into the light
And I can't wait to fall at your glory
On my face, God of the morning

You're coming closer
Day by day

Give me a mission if I've still got the time
Cause I'm open
Yeah I'm open
Be my vision and I'll be your delight
Cause I'm going wherever you're going

Turning faces into the light
And I can't wait to fall at your glory
On my face, God of the morning
You're coming closer
Day by day

Cause day by day you're coming closer
Making our way clearer and straighter
Turning our faces into the light
And I can't wait to fall at your glory
On my face, God of the morning
You're coming closer
Day by day

Cause day by day you're coming closer
Making our way clearer and straighter
Turning our faces into the light
And I can't wait to fall at your glory
On my face, God of the morning
You're coming closer
Day by day

[I encourage you to listen to this song and read/sing along to the lyrics]

I heard this song on lifeFM today. I don't know if I'm getting caught up in the wonder of the song, but it has made me think.

This song seems to be that we cant wait to fall at Gods glory, yet there's worlds to be saved, and we're to busy sitting and waiting. This can very much be applied to my own life.

The end of the world really scares me. Like, I know i shouldn't be worried, but quite honestly, I dont know what is going to happen! But again this is something I know that I trust God on..

"And I can't wait to fall at your glory, on my face, God of the morning, You're coming closer, day by day"

This line gives me a bit of comfort. Being a bit of a sucker for the 'supernatural' stuff of God, I think that its going to be an absolutely amazing thing to actually FALL on our faces to God! And we cant even to begin to comprehend how, why and what! And despite we probably think that wont be that good now, I'm pretty sure when we're at that point we'll not be able to do anything but worship God for ever and ever!

*insert bible verses here*

Comments or anything anyone wants to add?

The Abused

"When you were abused, so was He..."

I came up with the idea for this drawing on a bus last week, while I was pondering about how horrible my somebody had been to me.

I felt violated, upset and this really hurt. I felt like I'd been emotionally and verbally abused.

This made me think about abuse a bit. Millions of children all over the world are abused in many different ways, be it physically, emotionally, spiritually or verbally, or however else. Emotional abuse is the leader in child abuse, with 34% of cases. [read this PDF!]

In a spiritual sense, we always would tell someone that God is there. And if you try to visualise it, where do you think he would be? I think that many would visualise Him standing there watching. I don't think that at all. I think that Jesus was there, in that situation, feeling the same, if not more, pain that you were. In fact, there would be NOTHING he wouldn't understand. That's what I'm trying to represent in the painting. All those scars, he has them, and more.

"If God really cared about me he wouldn't have let this happen to me." My friend, he does care. In fact one day you will probably realise something good come out of this situation. It could be you become a good friend for someone else. Like Adrian Rowse says, use the situation to get closer to God.

Abuse is wrong. Tell someone about it. I cannot stress this enough. Be it you or a friend, or yourself, tell someone! (Take the risk) Often this is easier said than done.

This is something I am afraid of. In 2 years I will be a fully qualified teacher. Child abuse often goes unnoticed in so many children. How can I put a stop to that?

Anyway, I'll leave it there, but I'd really appreciate some comments on this.

Isaiah 53:4-5

4 Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
smitten by him, and afflicted.

5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.

Singular hope

I heard this really good sermon by a guest speaker at my church a few weeks ago. He spoke about being 'single', and it wasn't merely aimed at young people. I didn't realise that so many older people are single, and this can be for various reasons such as they never married, widowed, divorced, etc. I am not single, nor do intend on becoming that. But something I have learnt from this is that we all nonetheless in a relationship need that 'God space'.

The focus scripture of this is 1 Corinthians 7:17-24, 32-35:

17Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.
18Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised.
19Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God's commands is what counts.
20Each one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him.
21Were you a slave when you were called? Don't let it trouble you—although if you can gain your freedom, do so.
22For he who was a slave when he was called by the Lord is the Lord's freedman; similarly, he who was a free man when he was called is Christ's slave.
23You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men.
24Brothers, each man, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation God called him to
...
32I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord.
33But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.
35I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

Going back to verse 17:

Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.

We are 'called' every day. For example, what is the role of a teacher, mother, father, .. Mother Theresa? Now Mother Theresa, her calling would have been very different if she did not have kids. In a biblical sense, Hagar raised Ishmael alone, Naomi raised her sons alone and Moses was raised by Pharaohs daughter!

So, is being single a good or bad thing?
Going back to verses 32-34:

I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.

In this scripture, Paul is implying that it can be better to NOT be married! Like, woah. Being single (if just for now, times to come, or even for ever) can be a chance to devote and grow in God. Now that actually sounds good. Some people are actually single because they feel they want to grow in Christ.

Another passage noteworthy at the moment, Phillippians 4:12-14.

12I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
13I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
14Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles.

Coming out of a failed marriage people can feel like a 'second class christian'. This can usually be the way people treat others.. in a church!! God shows us grace and love. Do we show the same back?

So, does it feel like your dreams are fading away? I know it sounds cliché, but PRAY. God fufills the desires of our heart! And He uses circumstances! Jesus didn't promise a care free life, but one that is full in christ!

The hurting

I've been thinking about why people church-hop so much.

People go to one church, they get what they can from that church, until they've got there entertainment from that church, and move on to the next one. This happens over and over again. Church isnt about sitting back and watching, taking in, and getting spoon fed. I really, really believe that it is about relationship. Because God didnt put us on this earth to be alone, and made us to be not only in relationship with him, but also with others. And when people come to a church, and cant get a relationship, this can cause them to leave. I would rather go to a desolate old church with an organ, and have relationship with people, than go to a massive church with millions of people, have awesome 'annointed' worship, but nobody notice me.

2 Corinthians 9:13: Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, men will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else.

A lady I know used to have this 'gift', when she knew if someone was hurting, or in trouble, and she continuously would be getting these 'vibes' about this one girl in our youth group. I'm pretty sure she still does to this day. I dont know if this is a spiritual gift, or just something God stirs in your spirit. And how to fix things when you feel like someone is hurting? I believe it is prayer, understanding, compassion, love, and relationship. People think that just by praying for someone, it will fix things. Dont get me wrong, it can, and prayer is wonderful and works! But dont limit God in the ways he works. God can work through YOU! My main point here is relationship is important.

God may put someone on your heart that you just can't stop thinking about (realistically speaking, Im not talking about like being in love, more out of concern or something.) When our youth group in my home town had just been established, and the bunch of us were only month-old christiansour youth leader was explaining to us the above concept, of how sometimes thats how God wants us to pray for someone. One of the girls said that she had one of her friends on her mind constantly in the past week. So we prayed for that girl. The next day, on the front page of the newspaper was a report of a murder. The person murdered? That girls cousin.. See what I mean! A bit too freaky to be a coincidence?

The Dish

This morning I was procrastinating (as I am now) and watching TV, when an ad came on for New South Wales tourism. Now, I dont have much of a knowledge about New South Wales, in fact, my only travels usually get to about Moama. I realised today that there is a dream of mine that has not yet been fufilled.

What's that dream? I know that this may seem strange, but, I really really want to go to Parkes!

Why Parkes? Do you ask? Because I want to go and see the massive sattelite dish! Have you ever seen the movie, The Dish? Well, since it came out in 2001ish, I've always wanted to go there!

I was pondering a visit there this morning, and then realised that this dream was always a dream I had when I lived in South Australia, and I havent thought about it up until today in Victoria. And to that I realised that I am probably not that far away from Parkes anymore!!

I was wrong. It's probably about 8 hours away. Dang.

the 'twice a year' christian society

This is a rough translation of what we were translating in my Indonesian class on tuesday:

A: Good day, sir. Why on earth are you all dressed up like that?
B: You've forgotten? Indeed, it is friday! You must be going to the mosque. But hang on, you don't go to the mosque, or even to church, am I right?
A: It doesnt matter! It's important we believe in God. And its important we respect religion and the beliefs as other people.
B: What meaning is there in religion if you don't follow it! It's just as bad as being an unbeliever!
A: Yeah, but, you know, I'm not saying I'm a 'strict' follower of a religion. Gosh, praying five times a day [this is what muslims believe in] is too hard for me! After all, God doesnt care.. As long as I'm generous!
B: Far out! Why aren't you obediant to this? Aren't you afraid of hell?
A: Nah! My view on life is pretty different.
B: Good grief. [etc etc cant be bothered translating the rest]

People have that view in western culture too. If we're 'nice' and apply good moral behaviour, and stay out of prison we're going to all be okay. A lot of people call themselves christians, but are the 'twice a year' ones (on easter and christmas). Australia is known to be a christian nation. But there is so much more depth to christianity than meets the eye. Then there's some christians that 'write their own bible', which means they either manipulate or remove things from the word of God to justify their behaviour. Sadly enough, I have seen this done, in a church in this city. I used to go to a church where it was almost like it was just a 'nice thing to do' to go to church, and people were astonished that I'd be at a church without my family. Because my parents never went to church! It was really just good morale to go to church, but talking about relationship with God, or the holy spirit, was discouraged.

People are often given the misconception that Christianity can be a bit like Islam in the fact that there's rules and things you need to do to get to God, to 'earn' that place. Like that whole praying 5 times a day with Islam. People think that they have to 'have no fun' because they are a christian. But this is a lie, because Jesus died so that we could have life to the fullest. Now, this doesnt mean everything will be easy (another big misconception about christianity), but you have that secret weapon - God. There's no steps to being a christian. It's a yes to God, believing and confessing that Jesus is Lord. That said, by actually following the bible, would probably be most beneficial for your walk.

Have a look at these:

[Matthew 20:1-16]

[Luke 14:28-33]

Leaving unchanged

The pastor at my church said something this morning which really stood out to me. I can highly relate to him, and see it often in todays church society:

There are churches that are very traditional, if you speak you will be shown the door. 12pm comes, the service ends, people leave unchanged.

However on the other hand...

There are churches that are very 'new age'. Every week end there is shouting, falling down, speaking in tongues and what not. 12pm comes, the service ends, people leave unchanged.

Thats so very true.

Five Love Languages

Stolen from Dawn, I dont think its very accurate, though. I didn't know which ones to pick half the time...

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Quality Time
with a secondary love language being
Acts of Service.

Complete set of results

Quality Time:		11
Acts of Service:		8
Physical Touch:		4
Words of Affirmation:		4
Receiving Gifts:		3

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

All things retro!

I got a new blog!!! (yeah another one)

http://allthingsretro.blogspot.com

All fall short

In the recent past, a friend came to me and revealed something about them that would have been hard to tell someone.

What they told me was something that often christians would react in a way which would blind them from their sight.

But all I felt was love for this person. A feeling of compassion came over me.

In the past (just not as recent), I came to a friend and revealed something about myself that was extremely hard to tell someone.

I dont exactly know what that persons reaction was in their head or their heart, but I do know that no matter how bad whatever was going on, they still very much have loved me and maintained a lot of respect despite my flaws.

It happens a lot in todays society. I see people walk away from God, or struggle with something, and sometimes christians can react in a way that isnt so loving, and judgemental.

We need to keep reminding ourselves that we have all fallen short of the glory of God, that we should not judge, or God will also judge us, and that we should love each other or we're going to be useless. It also says in the bible to help others that go through all kind of things.

Nobodies sin is greater or lesser than yours. WE ARE ALL SINNERS! And there's nothing we can do about it. But God is an ever-forgiving God.

I guess what Im trying to say is dont turn your back on people with some problems. Its a mistake too many christians make today. We say we are loving, and compassionate but we turn the struggling away.

I guess this leads up to what the pastor will be speaking about at my church in the upcoming sunday night services about Issues todays church faces. At first I thought this was going to be very confronting, but I think that it is going to be really good to hear.

Jesus Camp

There's a movie coming out in America called Jesus camp. Its about training children to become "soldiors of God". I think it would be worth a look, as I love getting into discussions about this. Is it right or is it wrong?

Information and trailers here.

kids ministry

But Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.
Luke 18:16

Today I went to a training day for a mission that I am hoping to be involved in in Janurary.

I didnt know what to get out of today, but I think I got more than I origionaly thought I would. A lot of things hit me in my personal walk today. Thats kind of interesting when you're here for a kids ministry thing.

This will probably get long, so if you dont have a lot of time, stop reading now. From here on, the red text is my thoughts on stuff that was said today, and stuff I'd appreciate comments on.

The purpose statement for the ministry is this: "We exist to have a relationship with God, and flowing from that, to see people connected with God, welcomed into his family and equipped for ministry."

Relationship

• Love the Lord your God with all your heart.
• 1"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes^[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. 3You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

  5"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. 8This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. John 15:1-8.
  

• If we're not in it with God, then we'll just be put into the fire because we are fruitless and worthless.
• There's a difference between doing and being. Ever been asked what you do? And there's always the response of teacher, or a nurse, or student.. etc? In our culture, a lot of "who we are" can be shaped around "what we do". So what is your identity? Is it in who you are, or what you do? If this mission is to be ran simply on doing (because you must do stuff too! Its not a one way street!) and not being, there will be no spiritual fruit and we will burn out!
• To my 'unsaved' friends, they probably know me as Sammy, what I do, study education, they know I go to church but I dont talk about it enough. Who I am? Probably the biggest thing that comes out is South Australian. And who are you?
  

Connected

• "Go and make disciples" [not converts]. The difference between a disciple and merely a convert is a disciple is someone who follows Jesus, wheras a 'convert' simply hasnt gone anywhere yet.
  
• Kids can respond to God in a real way, and God wants to use kids to build his kingdom.
  

Welcomed

• "baptise them". (That doesnt mean litterally immerse them with water at the mission)
• Need to think about children who dont go home to christian families. Some arent even allowed to go to church - what happens to them then?
  

Equipped

• As above, make disciples, not just converts.
• Help christian kids be all that God wants them to be!
• Need to teach them how to grow as christians (prayer, mentoring, bible, worship, fellowship...)

Ministry

• "Love your neighbour as yourself."
• Kids can minister to others
• No one is too young to serve Jesus and make a difference.
• Instill confidence in kids to use their gifts. God can use gifts as much as he can use us.

Prayer

• Why pray?
  Well, to talk to God! God desires communication. He has commanded us to pray, and things change when we pray. Its the same as with a relationship with a friend. If you dont talk to them, or you refuse to listen, what kind of friendship is that???
• Evangelism is most ineffective without prayer. The enemy will tremble when you pray. Not praying is like a soldior without a weapon. Prayer is a weapon - use it!
• Prayer is the (not a) key to evangelism. It increases our effectiveness as witnesses for christ. The spiritual battles must be fought with spiritual weapons. (see ephesians 6:12). A person can only be released from Satans grip by the power of God. There's darkness and there's light. You can only be under 'dominion' of one.
• How does prayer work?
  God acts in response to to our prayers - victories won in the spiritual realm! Those we pray for are changed. The church will be changed, we will be changed.
• Spiritual strongholds can be seen (and unseen) in kids here in Bendigo. Some things that the devil uses to stop kids coming to christ are mindsets, situations, afflictions, influence, humanism/materialism taught in schools (aghh!), negative portrayal of christianity, whichcraft and abuse.
• Pray...
  ... in unity, "when two or gather in my name I will be with them"
  ... persistently - Dont do it enough
  ... with discernment
  ... in the power of the spirit -
  ... with authority -
  ... with repentance
  ... with fasting - something I dont know a lot about
  ... specifically
  ... with faith
  ... with people - a bit like unity
  ... by claiming Gods promises - something I need to explore
  ... for people
• Lost for ideas to pray for? Try for God to draw people to himself, for more workers for the harvest field, for Gods kingdom to come, for the church, for God to be glorified, for the salvation of people.
• Prayer strategies: 24 hour mondays (do you think it'd be wrong to do this during SOSE lectures?), Days of prayer and fasting, prayer newsletters, team members using intercessory gifts, Prayer walking.
• More: ecclesiasties 2:26 and Exodus 12:35.

Someone's brilliant speech about child development (refresh my memory from uni!)

Maslows heirachy of needs!

To achieve growth, the needs that need to be met are self esteem, belongingness and love, safety, and physiological needs. Plain and simple!

My thoughts on childrens ministry...

There is really a special place in my heart for kids ministry. Gosh, Im becoming a teacher, for goodness sake! But I have a personal testimony that prooves the importance of children hearing about Jesus at a young age... By giving this testimony I am not looking for sympathy, but it is basically something I really want to give glory to God for, and possibly encourage others to think and pray about this issue for kids in their community.

My parents were not christian. But for some odd reason, my sister and I always went to sunday school. I think it may have been because of the fact that the church was desperate on numbers, and needed to rely on the wider community, because I remember a lot of my friends that were also not from churched homes went as well (unless there was some kind of strange mini temporary revival in the early 90's that I dont know about). Yes, every sunday, mum would dress my sister and I up in our prettiest dresses and off we went to sunday school.

When I got that bit older, I was able to go to KUCA camp-out (Kids of the Uniting Church Australia) that was always held at West Beach caravan park in Adelaide. This was quite often the highlight of my year.

When I was 8, my parents seperated. This was really difficult as a child of my age. I was a mess - at 8!!!

I was still going to Kids Camp Out and there was this desire within me to know God. The church gave me a Good News Bible (with pictures!) and I started to read it. Not a lot made sense though. I signed the commitement at the back of the bible. I have this bible here with me in Bendigo. I would have been 10 when I decided to sign this:

On this date:

1/4/97

I recieved God's offer. Jesus forgave me and became my Saviour and Lord. His spirit came to live in my life.

SJSmedley

(signed)

One night I woke up at a very odd hour and I was really frightened. What did I start to do? I prayed. I didnt fully understand or know God, I was only about 10, but I called out to him, I told him I trusted him. I remember a peace flow through me, and I went back to sleep.

This came and went. God was a big part in my life, but I didnt really understand a lot.

In 2001, there was a similar scenario as above, except things were different. I was in a bit more of a wreck. I was in year 9 at school, 14 years old. The church had invited me on an 'easter camp' . This was with a whole bunch of youth from around the reigon. I was not the nicest of kids. I was swearing, I was cursing, I was a plain wreck. But on the last night of that camp I gave my life to Jesus for real. Someone hugged me that night and said that my life would never be the same again. Gosh, were they right!

Later that year I revisited what I'd signed at the end of my bible. I put a cross through it, and rewrote:

On this date

23/10/2001

I recieved God's offer. Jesus forgave me and became my Saviour and Lord. His spirit came to live in my life.

SJSmedley

Relating this all back to life for kids today in not only where I live now, but the world. There are kids, facing the same stuff as I have, just like that, all over the city. I was an outcast because my family was broken, but these days it is very normal for kids to be in these situations. It is more and more common, and there are worse things happening. Peer pressure, hurt, abuse! Its not ok to be bound by these things!

I want to influence this generation, because they again will be the next generation of influence. We need to reach out to those who are hurting!

When I got a bit older and maturer in my walk with God, I got involved with my childrens ministry in my home town. At one stage I was in a position of influence with the youth as well. It was a bit depressing to have to move, land in a new environment, and 'start over', and its great to get back into it. I have to go home on tuesday, I might just revisit the kids ministry there.

I will now leave you with a verse that is at the bottom of the signing-commitment of my Good News Bible, which has now occured to me how true and real it has been in my life over these nearly 12 years now.

"Everyone who calls out to the Lord for Help will be saved."
Romans 10:13

Who I am.. Who I am not...

Today I have seen a few things worth blogging about.

This morning, at church (short street), a couple spoke about their recent missions trip to china. It was really touching some of the stuff they did. I would love to go over. There were so many things in what they were talking about which reminded me of Indonesia.

It is funny how I longed to go over to Asia to do what they were doing. I still do long for it. But how important is it to me? I know that part of this is why Im here in Bendigo. There is the smidget of opportunity to go over to China next year with them.

I was pondering this today. If this was what God wanted me to do, how willing would I be to go over there? Would I risk the safety, the distance from Hamish, my friends, my money, or even would I risk a semester of uni, meaning not being able to graduate with my friends? What would I sacrifice for God?

At the moment, short street don't have sunday night services in the school holidays. Cara invited me around to her house, and then after we were going to go to the AOG.

I was kind of excited about going to the AOG, seeing things that I wouldnt normally see at Short Street. And dont get me wrong, it was an exciting experience. I dont mind the fact that Short Street doesnt make a habit of that kind of stuff, in fact, Im really happy that my mind isnt consumed by all of this every weekend.

The sermon was pretty good, he had some really good things to say. Unfortunately I didnt take notes.

Video killed the radio star

When the internet miraculously kicked back in today, I celebrated by listening to online radio. Cvc wouldnt work for some reason, so I listened to Adelaide's 107.9 lifeFM. (used to listen to this station whenever I ventured to Adelaide). So I'm listening to this really strange out there song, about "I saw the light" or something. The best way to describe it almost would be like "the devil went down to Georgia" style. (I just found out it was by Jonny Cash: youtube it if you wanna hear it)

Anyway, the presenter was quite amused with it, and he joked about how because he'd played such a song people were going to chase him down the streets of Adelaide. Nonetheless, he said that if you liked the song, send him an email.. So what do I do? I send an email.

I loved that song you just played! (the I saw the light song)

Greetings from an on line listener in Bendigo, Victoria :)

Sammy

I thought that would make his day. I went on to do stuff in my room, and then I heard him come back on and he's like, "before I continue (laughs) I recieved an email (he kinda laughs as he says it), its from Sammy in Bendigo, and she says that she loved the song I just played. So a big hello to Sammy over there in Bendigo! You're lucky you're so far away that people cant come and chase you down the street!"

It was by far, the most exciting part of my day.

No broadband

Well, as of sunday night the broadband died. Which really sucked. Because I wasnt going to have it back until my RA got back from his trip and reset the router, but it has miraculously started working again. Which is kinda bad cos Im procrastinating.

11/09/2006

The cutest thing happened to me last night at church. At the beginning of the service, a 5 year old boy was sitting next to me. He gave me a flower and said "this is for you and your mother". It was awfully cute! I guess you just had to be there.

This boy, with such a character and life, gave me hope. Just in that, he reassured me that I wanted to be a teacher.

We talk about God fufilling the desires of our hearts. I remember when I got that 3rd round offer into education, I got a message from a good friend of mine saying, "God really does fufill the desires of our hearts!" That said, he doesnt always fill them the way you expect them to.

The day I got my enter score, my heart broke. I knew that there would now be no way to get into the course here in Bendigo. BUT, how could it be the end? It was my dream, and I had such a desire to do the course in Bendigo. Not in Adelaide, not in Mildura - Bendigo. And, you know, thats a tad odd for someone who comes from a place like Pinnaroo, also a bit odd for someone like me, who you'd see go and do some kind of biblical course, probably at the time would have joined PCOM or YWAM. But no, there was this YEARNING to be here in Bendigo!

So I doubted. I doubted that I would ever make it to my 'dream city', and started looking at other options. But in the end, God had it all under control. That year, many people deffered, and many new places were opened. My enter was about 2 points off the final cut off.

In year 12, this was a dream. Living far away from SA, being my own person, relying on God alone. Its happning, but Im still learning.

So I still want to be a teacher.

13/09/2006

I gotta go home to Pinnaroo over the holidays. My measly one week. Its really difficult in one week; I spend two days just getting to and from Pinnaroo.

I felt like part of the 'life of the church' on sunday night. Just by this funny little thing happening... It was time for the offering, and Andrew held up the two offering bags, and was going to let "two little people" do it. Obviously, because he has before, he is going to let two of the little kids do it. Here I scrounging in my wallet for offering money, when I hear him say "Sammy and Cara". And I thought he was kidding! I dont know how to do offering no matter how easy it is! But alas I got through it. This little thing made me feel like Ive kinda lost that 'visitor' status and Im more of a 'regular'.

Inside South Australia...

Everything you've ever wanted to know about me! *click*

"There is an intense rivalry between people who live in South Australia and people who live in Victoria. Victorians just aren’t aware of it."

So tell me, is it true that in victoria (or other states even) that you dont have:

• Bickfords cordial
• Coopers beer
• "Deli's"
• Early minutes
• Farmers Union Iced coffee
• Fritz
• Frog cakes
• Halls/kirks soft drink
• Kitchener buns?
• Manies
• Stobie Poles
• Spoggies

I already knew that some of these are south australian. And some of them do exist in victoria as well. Let me explain...

Bickfords cordial

Just cordial in a fancy bottle. I swear Ive seen it or something like it here in Victoria.

Coopers beer

Beer made especially in SA. You can get it over here in victoria in Dan Murphys and places like that. The coopers brewery each year has a christmas display on the bit of land they have. People flock from all over the city to have a look.

"Deli's"

Now this one surprised me, are you sure that this is a south australian thing? My grandparents used to own a 'deli' in Murrayville, which is actually in Victoria, however, that doesnt count, because Murrayville is heavily under influence by Pinnaroo and South Australia. Now I just asked a fellow victorian if they knew what a deli is, and they thought it was like the meat section of Safeway. No! So for those of you who dont know, a deli is basically like a milk bar or corner store.

Early minutes

Wow I cant believe this is a South Australian thing! In primary school, if we were good, we were always given the reward of an early minute, meaning, getting out of school 60 seconds before we were supposed to. I think I might just introduce this teaching strategy into victorian classrooms ;)

Farmers Union Iced coffee

Dont get me started!!! Farmers Union Iced Coffee is ultimately the BEST iced coffee that you can get! Its better than any Big M rubbish you have over here! I can easily get victorians hooked on this one. Its availible in the Market Place Bendigo Safeway.

Fritz

Fritz, also the german name for "Fred", is like what victorians call Devon, but is much much nicer. I was only informed when I moved to victoria that fritz was not availible here. I was shattered. Something I always had in my sandwhich for lunch was just going to dissapear. Fritz is famous together with sauce. My favorite way to have fritz is to fry it on the George forman with some eggs!

Frog cakes

Cakes that look like frogs!!!!

Halls/kirks soft drink

A south australian soft drink Halls that was taken over by kirks.

Kitchener buns

According to Balfours (a mass south australian bakery): a ‘delightful yeast bun with a jam and non-dairy cream filling sure to please any sweet tooth.’

Manies

Now these are cool! I so didnt know that this was South Australian too! OK, now this is crazy. When I was about 12, I was down in Loxton and the same car kept going past us over and over again. This is when I first heard the term "mainies", where you drive around the block, usually the main street over and over again! Maybe another thing I can introduce to victoria!!!

Stobie Poles

A stobie pole is basically a power pole. But we make them in a unique way. Its basically some cement, kept together with a few railway sleepers. "Stobie poles probably kill more South Australians than sharks, red-back spiders and tiger snakes combined. And while sharks at least have some lethal grace about them, Stobie poles are simply hideous."

Spoggies

South Australian slang for 'sparrow'.

Other weird and wonderful things to note about South Australia:

• Our accent - "linguists have discovered that Adelaide residents can pick people as being from the Eastern states on the basis of their accents. Adelaidians will pronounce words such as dance, graph and plant with a long ‘a’ (‘darnce’, rather than to rhyme with pants, as in the Eastern states)."
• The Big Rocking Horse!
• Adelaide's bus system!
• Humphrey Bear and Fat Cat's origon!
• John Martin's Christmas paegent
• The devils elbow! (now not there anymore, but it was fun as a kid) - "The Hills-dwellers who had to negotiate the road every day and witness the 200 accidents a year probably found the novelty wore off very quickly."
• The fruit fly state.
• Glenelg tram! (we're a bit like Bendigo, only one tram)
• The interstate rivalry between SA and Victoria
• KESAB - Keep South Australia Beautiful
• Rundle Mall's Balls
• O-bahn - like a train track for busses that makes them go really fast!
• Adelaide's water - "One of Adelaide’s biggest claims to fame is that it has the worst drinking water of any city in the developed world."

Falling back...

Ok, all credit to this goes to my good friend Matt, aka Stoz.
In his famous words: "nothing a good blogging won't fix ".
So here I am, blogging.

Darangen - Falling Back :: Free legal download here

looking back on all that we've been through
what is left and what else could we do?
we've been down this road so many times before
will i ever learn the way
to come back to you?

this ardency has taken me
and now it is a part of me
i'm falling back to where i used to be
this heart's debut is overdue
now i can see, i know it's true
i'm falling back, falling back to you

i can see you from a million miles away
things weren't always the way they are today
if only i could learn to change the past
if only things could last
another day

this ardency has taken me
and now it is a part of me
i'm falling back to where i used to be
this heart's debut is overdue
now i can see, i know it's true
i'm falling back, falling back to you

this ardency has taken me
and now it is a part of me
i'm falling back to where i used to be
this heart's debut is overdue
now i can see, i know it's true
i'm falling back, falling back to you

i'm falling back to where i used to be
i'm falling back, yeah falling back
to you..

So, the meaning of all of this?
Well, isnt it plain and simple?
I feel like things are back with me and God again after a very long time.
And its good :)

And its not a matter of running back to God, its admitting our faults,
and allowing ourselves to "fall" back to God.

That is all