pemisahan
Nine years ago I was in year 4. The year was 1996. When the bell rang one day for everybody to go home, the teacher asked me to stay behind. Now this puzzled me as I had done nothing wrong.
She sat me on her knee, and told me that she knew what I was going through, and that if I ever needed someone to talk to, to just talk to her. At the time I was really puzzled, because I wasn't 100% sure what was really going on.
But soon I would find out what it would be. Divorce. It affects so many kids today. So many are caught in the middle, and many parents don't know how to deal with it. Often parents do not see the actual affects it will have on a child. I think that my anxiety could be as a result of some childhood traumas caused as a result of divorce.
Now in this day and age, that wouldn't be able to do that. But I left that classroom grinning, knowing that she cared. And the day she left the school, I cried myself to sleep. That's all kids often need: is someone to care.
Today, I was faced with a similar situation, except now it is nine years on, and I am at the 'other end'. I am a teacher. Things are different from back then, and my relationship with students needs to be maintained at an upmostly professional level, especially seeing as I am only a student teacher, and at the end of the week, my practicum finishes.
Child 1: "Miss Smedley, I'm sad today."
Miss Smedley: "Oh, how come?" (Not expecting an all too serious answer)
Child 1: "Oh, because my Mum moved out last night..."
Miss Smedley: *something along the lines of "oh, that's not so good"*
Child 2: "Miss Smedley, Did Mr. *teacher* tell you?"
Miss Smedley: "... no..."
Child 2: "Yeah, I'm always sad and depressed, because my parents aren't together either..."
Miss Smedley: (without thinking) "Oh yeah, that happened to me at your age too..."
I kinda just walked away from that conversation, because realistically, what can I do? I don't know the policy on that kind of stuff, and by me saying what I said probably overstepped the line. Especially after that she went around saying, "hey guess what, Miss Smedley is just like me!"
And my teaching prac ends this week. I want to help but don't know how I can. The kid didn't even have lunch. I just hate seeing kids stuck in the middle of a split.
There needs to be help for kids, but also for parents. Parents need to be equipped to make sure their kids don't get stuck in the middle. I know my parents cared, but I don't think they knew how to really deal with it. They were both from families that were together, and hadn't experienced this before.
And all in all, God has his healing hands over his children. This is something I'm going to find wherever I go.
this post is about:
children,
divorce,
prac teaching
7 comments:
That is so sad. I remember when you first opened up to me about your parents splitting up, i had never really had any friends that had gone through a divorce before and I felt for you so much. I think it was good for the child to know that they weren't alone, but I understand that you may have stepped across a teacher/student line.
Poor thing, I always wish I could give hugs when I read stuff like that.
God bless you for adding a bit of light to that otherwise dark part of their life.
Sammy, hey girl! I just rediscovered your blog, after too long.
Having just graduated from My teaching degree also and hitting the schools for the first time as a newbie teacher theres one thing I've discovered. It's okay to talk about these things with kids.
Because lets be honest, we are not simply teachers we are also counsellors, nurses, and often mothers and fathers to these kids. Our job is not simply to educate kids in Academics, but to educate the entire child, to prepare them for life.
That is a huge huge responsibility.
During my time within the classroom I've had to teach sex education to a bunch of giggling 12 year olds, so talking divorce, self value/worth, abuse, neglect etc has seemed somewhat easier in comparison.
I grew to admire my fourth year internship teacher enourmously for her honesty with her students in talking about the issues which are real in those kids lives.
I agree with your anonymous friend ;) kids need to know that they're not alone, they need to be told that they have done nothing wrong and they want to understand these issues which seem so foreign to them.
Seriously, the greatest classroom you will ever create, is one where kids feel that they can come to you with any worries/fears/concerns and know that they will be heard and that you will do the best you can to help them understand.
When you deal with the issues which are real to the kids in your classroom, you will begin to show that you care about their lives, that what they're dealing with matters and that they are seen and heard.
It is okay for them to know you care. Truth is, that if the children don't mind, then it can actually be a really healthy thing for the class to talk about together. I've seen many beautiful moments between students who have finally understood and discovered their ties with one another through classroom discussions on life issues.
of course it is to be done professionally, it's not a gossip session, but a chance to try and understand.
You will make a great teacher Sammy, because you do care!
What ^they^ said sounds good.
If the law is against such things (I don't know anything about it), then it's an unjust law and should be broken.
There's no law against such things. You only run into problems when you try to push values onto the kids that aren't supported by the school, or if you start playing favourites with kids who are experiencing the same life issues you have.
Okay, that's good.
I've heard a lot of education students say though that they reckon you're not allowed to talk about personal stuff. So I guess maybe they're worried about seeming like they're pushing their own values or having favorites.
Yeah, I can understand exactly how you're feeling Sammy, and it is just like you said Christop - student teachers are SCARED! I'm scared I'll do or say something wrong! And it's different with every school you go to how far you're allowed to go. Jezika-rae's advice sounds like a good idea to me.
I did a bit of the teacher's job in dealing with this by asking if she actually had lunch, and following it up. I don;t know if I over stepped the line or not, but part of being a teacher is by taking a bit of initiative like this, and I was there to be a teacher.
Steff and Christop: there are laws, or morseo codes of conduct and they are getting tighter: http://209.85.165.104/search?q=cache:h-mrZVQadQUJ:www.vit.vic.edu.au/retrievemedia.asp%3FMedia_ID%3D1125+VIT+letters+sexual+relationship+student&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=2&gl=au&client=firefox-a
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