when I'm found in the desert place...

A friend asked me a little while ago what psalm 63 meant. I decided to write her an email, going through it bit by bit, and it ended up being a sermon.. I've added more since I sent it to her!

Psalm 63
1 O God, You are my God;
Early will I seek You;
My soul thirsts for You;
My flesh longs for You
In a dry and thirsty land
Where there is no water.
2 So I have looked for You in the sanctuary,
To see Your power and Your glory.

3 Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,
My lips shall praise You.
4 Thus I will bless You while I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name.
5 My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness,
And my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips.

6 When I remember You on my bed,
I meditate on You in the night watches.
7 Because You have been my help,
Therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice.
8 My soul follows close behind You;
Your right hand upholds me.

9 But those who seek my life, to destroy it,
Shall go into the lower parts of the earth.
10 They shall fall by the sword;
They shall be a portion for jackals.

11 But the king shall rejoice in God;
Everyone who swears by Him shall glory;
But the mouth of those who speak lies shall be stopped.

OK, so starting at verses one and two..

1 O God, You are my God;
Early will I seek You;
My soul thirsts for You;
My flesh longs for You
In a dry and thirsty land
Where there is no water.
2 So I have looked for You in the sanctuary,
To see Your power and Your glory.

We find ourselves in different situations that seem like a 'desert place'. Everything seems to be going not our way. It's like being thirsty, and needing to be refreshed by something, and God is that refreshment. God can only supply the needs for our deepest longings. Jesus says in John 4:14: but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.

It also says in this verse: 'early I will seek You'. Have you ever looked for an answer for something and it be there right in front of you, but you seem to take ages to find it? It's somewhere I seem to find myself often, searching for something that I have left in the most obvious place, but I search everywhere else until I find the thing I am looking for in the place I should have looked at first.

Early we need to seek God. He has the answers! Why would you look everywhere else when our answer is right there? I am very guilty of something going wrong, and then instantly messaging Steff saying "the sky is falling!". God tells us to seek FIRST the kingdom of God (says it twice in the Old Testament and Once in the New Testament). Seek for a godly response to situations in everything you do. God's power and glory exists in the people who dwell in Him, and seek Him first.

3Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,
My lips shall praise You.
4 Thus I will bless You while I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name.
5 My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness,
And my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips.

God is ultimately awesome! And he deserves our praise all the time, when we have an abundance of good things and things are going great, and even in the desert place. It's like in the song: Blessed be Your Name.

6 When I remember You on my bed,
I meditate on You in the night watches.
7 Because You have been my help,
Therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice.
8 My soul follows close behind You;
Your right hand upholds me.

This sounds like me the other night. As a little girl I used to be really frightened of thunder storms. Now I open my bedroom window and watch them from my bed all night! I love storms, it reminds me of God's great power! :)

God protects us. We are so precious in His sight. Cling onto this promises. He is the creator of the universe, he is MASSIVE! And he knows you by name. He cares about you so much and would not let anything bad happen to you.

Jeremiah 29:11 says For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope... This verse is often quoted to give inspiration, and I agree whole-heartedly, but I think an important part of this is in the next few verses.. When you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, says the LORD.

So many people throw this verse around here and there, sometimes just as a general band-aid fix, but forget that end bit. When we pray, GOD WILL LISTEN. When we seek earnestly with all we have for God, WE WILL FIND HIM. It sometimes just takes perseverance. The enemy often fills our heads with doubt that we will never get anywhere, that this is useless.. It just takes a lot of perseverance through everything.

Rely on God through the storms in your life! It's through these we can grow stronger with God (when we let Him) and He teaches us important life lessons. I find that most of the hard things I go through, down the road I will stumble along someone who is in the same situation, and I can help them because I have been in the same thing. Evidence of this can be found in 2 Corinthians 1:3-7: Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort. (oops I have totally tangented here.. moving on...)

9 But those who seek my life, to destroy it,
Shall go into the lower parts of the earth.
10 They shall fall by the sword;
They shall be a portion for jackals.

God has absolute favour on His children. You ARE God's child. Jesus never promised it would be easy, and there sure can be persecution from all directions sometimes. People can try all sorts of things to manipulate us, to make us feel low, but we are God's, and the people who do wicked things against his genuine children will pay in the long run. What makes me so sad is when God's children do things against their fellow brothers and sisters in Christ! But God is a just God. He knows what is right and wrong, it just takes discernment (which can be gained simply by knowing what is right and wrong according to His Word, and also that 'spiritual' discernment) on our part. Sometimes it's obvious and people don't want to admit it.

God's word is like a double edged sword. It is the TRUTH. And I wholeheartedly believe that what is in there is how God wants us to live. If something someone is doing doesn't have the same values as the bible, I am always wary of if it is really Godly.

11 But the king shall rejoice in God;
Everyone who swears by Him shall glory;
But the mouth of those who speak lies shall be stopped.

OK, we are not kings, that was probably relating to David, the author of the psalm, who was a king. But God has called us to be His children, and because of this, we are children of the king (God being the king!), and when you're that, it means we are princes and princesses!

Whoever says that they are His, and works with what he asks, are seen as so precious in His sight. But those who want to go against the children of God, the ones that speak lies against us, will be stopped. It's a promise. Don't see it happening? Pray. Claim it as a promise, because God's word is full of them!

[ Kudos to Spatch for sending this verse in a sms to me :) ]

do yourself a favor

To me this is the funniest commercial ever. For those *cough*victorians*cough* who don't understand, there's an intense rivalry against victoria here in South Australia. This commercial made me LOL! (yeah, I know it's a beer ad, but it was oh-so south australian!)



Will blog about my South Australian experiences later!

God has ADD

It's true! I swear. I think I am a creation person after all!

"look at me, Sammy, look at me! Look! Look! Look at me now! Look, look look now what I'm doing!"

I think I've become a nature admirer. I've had this thing for clouds lately. We've had some beautiful clouds and storms over Bendigo lately.

Just ask my housemate Claire how much I'm obsessed with clouds. We were sitting out the back yard and I was in total awe of this cloud.

The other night I was staying with Cara. She lives a little bit out of Bendigo now. I like going out there because it's really peaceful. A real change, as I live pretty close to the city near a very busy road. (can you tell I'm from Pinnaroo, land of no-cars and technology?). At about 4 in the morning, there was this absolute massive downpour of rain, thunder and lightning! At first, my anxiety kicked in and I felt really scared. My mind went in and out of, is my car safe, is my underwear on the line going to end up in Mandurang? Stupid little Sammy-thoughts. But then God was doing his ADD thing. "Bang, crash, flash! Sammy, look at me! Look at me Sammy am I not pretty? You have nothing to fear, this is Me! Bang, crash, flash!" Yes God, YES GOD, OK. But it's 4am and I have to be at church tomorrow.. No, actually. I felt really happy and content. I wanted to stay up and watch God all night! I felt safe. I felt like the same God who is putting on a mighty storm out there was also looking out for me, and knows the number of hairs on my head.

After church the next day, God did the same thing. The clouds formed a beautiful storm over the city. More and more of "look at Me! Sammy!" Bang crash flash...

Days go on, and I am continuously telling Claire that I love the clouds outside.

Last night I was with Cara again, and I was telling her and Sandy how much God has ADD, and is screaming "look at Me! I'm pretty!"

Then today, I was innocently doing something on my computer when I heard God again.. "booooom. Thunder! Look at me Sammy!!!" So I go and lie on my bed and look out the window. I'm just like, wow God.. Then I fell asleep!!

After I woke up, Cara came around to find me very dopey and sleepy. We went out for tea at this Turkish place on Mitchell Street for a 'kebab' (get it right, it's a Yiros stupid Victorians, a kebab is meat on a stick!). As we were innocently eating, there was this glorious sunshower. It was actually really bizarre. More, "hey look at me now! weeee!" Usually sunshowers don't last for long. This lasted for a good 20 minutes, and stayed in the exact same spot (we were on the edge of it). It seemed so bizarre, there was heaps of wind but no movement of the rain! At one stage I went outside to investigate (perhaps it was a leak somewhere.) But yeah, it was God, showing off again :P

When we were walking back to the car, I noticed a rainbow.. Oh God you really are showing off now!

How awesome to think that this great mighty God who puts on all of these weather displays is looking after us! It makes me fall more and more in love with who He is. Yep, maybe I'm a creation person after all!

As Cara and Sammy were going home from the airport on Monday, Cara realised that the water in her water bottle, was in fact from New South Wales! Interstate water! Sammy then came to the realisation that her water was indeed from South Australia, as her mother gave her an abundance of this under the realisation that Bendigo is indeed in a drought. Cara and Sammy rejoiced in the fact that there was water from two states in the one place, not the state we were currently located. The duo then looked over to notice that their travelling buddy, Luke, also obtained some water, and it occurred to the trio that Luke in fact had Victorian water. The trio (more so Cara and Sammy) then rejoiced in the happiness of having water from three states.

The end

This is just a preview of what you will find in The Adventures of Sammy and Cara.

Yes another blog!

RSS it today! Remember the URL: http://samara-adventures.blogspot.com

Hungry!

(Sammy amuses herself further...)

*Meanwhile, back at the ranch (mission HQ), Cara and Sammy outside having a 'd 'n' m'.. Rach then walks outside*
Rach: "girls, dinner's ready!"
Sammy: "I'm not hungry"
Cara: "You told me before you were hungry!"
Sammy: "I meant in a biblical sense, you twat!"

Have you ever felt so hungry for God that you just want to eat him? Ok, enough of the silliness now. I'm serious, I have these days where all I want to do is know God more and more and it's just like, wow!

You can be hungry for many things, but in my honest opinion, and what I've come to know, is that knowing who God is, and knowing his character, comes from his word. It is a crucial link that I see is lost in so many scenarios today. The way to know God is to know His word. I encourage you - read it, it's tasty! Get into it, it has so much good stuff in it, and it's so so so so powerful!

(then what? Pray about what you've read, that's another crucial way of getting to know him too!)

Amazing grace.. how sweet the sound...

"There is nothing we can do to make God love us more. There is nothing we can do to make God love us less"

I actually read a book, and finished it.

The book: What's so amazing about Grace by Phillip Yancy.

And I know, I know, you've probably read it. But I think it came up with some good points.

"Church! Why would I want to go there? It would just make me feel worse!"

You know what's funny, though, is that many Sunday mornings I have woken up and thought that same thing in my own church! I think it is impossible to find a church that is fully 'graced'. We get so tied up in condemning people who don't follow the rules, that we completely overlook forgiveness.

"God in heaven holds each person by a string. When you sin, you cut the string. Then God ties it up again, making a knot - and thereby bringing you a little closer to Him. Again and again your sins cut the string - and with each knot God keeps drawing you closer and closer."

I really like that quote. It is how I want to view my life at the moment. I'll let you reflect on that...

Review:

Good things:

• Real life situations
  
• Easy to understand
• Thought provoking
• Can be applied to everyday life
• 
  

Not so good things:

• American (haha, sorry Jamie :P )
• I really would have liked to have seen more scripture references to see how it links back to the bible. That could just be me and the way I learn.
• Still a good read and I HIGHLY recommend it!
  

Blasphemy Challenge?

I don't know about you, but I find this really sad!

http://www.blasphemychallenge.com/


My 2 cents is that they are in such a position of influnce, and so many people don't even know what they're doing. It disturbs me!

hatiku percaya

(title is Indonesian for "my heart believes")

Over the course of the mission in Bendigo, I was constantly reminded about my desire to be a missionary in Indonesia.

Things were really confirmed for me on Sunday at church when my friend Zoe told me that she was serious about coming with me. She said that we probably couldn't do it this year, and I don't think that God is really calling me there yet, but I think that when He does, it may happen all very quickly. I have no time frame at the moment, but I know God does. Yagh! It freaks me out that there is a possibility that this is probably what God has in store for me, yet it is all exciting at the same time...

Before mission, I didn't want to go. I didn't want the stress, I didn't want to be tired, I didn't think I could do it, and I didn't think I could handle the heat... How ironic, hey? God put that all back to me and said that if I couldn't handle these things here in Bendigo, how on earth would I survive over in Indonesia?

For those who don't know.. I have actually been there before. I went back in 2002 with my school to places now you could only dream of going to (due to the danger). There was so much poverty. I grew up so much. I remember sitting on a bus, going through the city of Yogyakarta (yeah, no exotic trip to Bali), and watching all of the native Indonesians go about their business, and I thought to myself that God has made them, just like He has made me.. But nobody here knows Him. It broke my heart. My heart is absolutely broken for this country.

When I came back to Australia, my friend Kylie described me as a 'fly buzzing around in a jar'. I felt so depressed, and heartbroken about this country, about how they could not see the light of God..

For those who are statistically minded or want to know, Indonesia is made up of: Muslim 88%, Protestant 5%, Roman Catholic 3%, Hindu 2%, Buddhist 1%, other 1% (1998)

... Is this hope?

(youtube video)



The words to this song are
TUHANLAH KEKUATAN DAN MAZMURKU
DIA GUNUNG BATU DAN KES'LAMATANKU
HANYA PADA-MU HATIKU PERCAYA
KAULAH MENARA DAN KOTA PERLINDUNGAN

REFF :
KU MAU S'LALU BERSYUKUR
S'BAB CINTA-MU PADAKU
TAK KAN PERNAH BERUBAH
HATIKU PERCAYA

WALAU BUMI BERGUNCANG
GUNUNG-GUNUNG BERANJAK
NAMUN KASIH SETIA-MU
TAK PERGI DARIKU

I dare you to try and sing along! And for those who are not Steff (I expect you Steff to know all this... says the girl whose about to get their dictionary to translate this), the rough translation of this is:

God who is strong and my song
He is a strong mountain and my happiness
Only unto You my heart believes
You are a tower and a city of protection

I always want to thank God
Because my love is in You
It cannot be erased
My heart Believes

Even though the land may shake
Mountains move
Your love is always there
It won't leave from me

Does this look like an Indonesian Hillsong to anybody else? Me being against 'shiny christianity', this concerns me for some reason.. I'm guessing these guys would be in the city of Jakarta, but this isn't what Christianity is about? Worshipping God, yes, but it is really hard to imagine it is in Indonesia? After what I saw when I was there?

Bizarre...

kids4life

I'm sure a few of you have noticed my absence for the past few weeks, the reason for this is I have been away being a missionary. I'm amused that I am the first (Trav, you don't count! You get half a point :P) one out of the immediate Bendigo team to actually blog about this, and I thought I was slack!! I'm sure they are all catching up on some much needed rest! Wait, no. I was wrong, Craig has bet me.

Now when we think of being a missionary, we always think of being in an exotic place overseas, near a beach (for those from Bendigo usually involved in mission there was beach mission to Warnambool). This mission was at the drought stricken land of Bendigo.

It made me think about how we can get extremely concerned about things going on a fair distance from us, but there is always a 'mission' closer to home. That said I do believe Jesus does send us out into the world.

At first I didn't want to go on mission. I didn't feel like I was 'fit' enough in many aspects, and also another contributing factor was that in the past few weeks the Bendigo weather had been making me sick (I'm DEFINITELY a winter person!), luckily, God pulled me through, and, haha God you are funny, it rained! On top of all of that, my anxiety has been a bit rough.

Upon arriving (we stayed at the Bendigo AOG, while the mission itself was held at a school in Golden Square), it was clear to us that satan didn't like what we were doing in the city. One of our team members (and I think others) had become unwell. Prayer for team health was a priority.

Every day we were blessed by having 'quiet time' for about half an hour each day. I spent my quiet time trying numerous different activities. Usually I spent it outside at the end of Soloman Street watching the sunset over the city (a truly remarkable experience), praying, one day I actually had a shower. Oh the possibilities!

Back to seriousness now. It came to me (well, I kind of have known this for a while now) that Satan sometimes can attack us in ways that others can't see. For me it has really been anxiety. Although my anxiety levels on mission were remarkably lower, there was the odd occasion where I would feel unbelievably feel anxious and loose focus. I almost didn't go on mission because of my anxiety. It's a growing progress, I really just want to be 'healed'!

Another strange thing that happened at mission is this. I had my bible out, ready to read from it to the kids, and suddenly something just grabbed me, like, it literally felt like someone had put their arms around me and squeezed me so tight I couldn't breathe! I went away for a moment, just crying out to God to help me. Slowly whatever it was let me go. The whole thing probably only lasted merely 30 seconds.

I have been on many camps in my 20 years of life, but this was my first mission. I found that some people struggle to distinguish the difference between 'mission' and 'camp'. Camps are usually where we go out bush somewhere and build ourselves up, learn about God etc, have a great week. A mission is different. We are literally on a mission. We need to be focussed on what the Will of God is, and the task at hand.

That said, mission has been an immense time of spiritual growth for me. I feel as though I have matured five years. God has revealed many things to me, I even have realised who I really am. From this, however, I have a lot of things to work on now that I'm back in reality.

Another thing I have come to realise over the duration of mission is that to see change, we sometimes need to make sacrifices. Many have sacrificed family, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, finances, time etc to see change. It's that whole 'storing up treasure in heaven' thing.

I've learnt a whole heap about being genuine. We had a few 'situations' on mission where things just didn't sit right with me. In fact, in one of these situations, I got up, and ran out of the room! Now I was seriously so upset, I went and sat on the curb and cried, and I didn't understand what God was doing, but then I realised (with a little help from other wise individuals, you know who you are) that I really had discernment that night.

I hunger to know God as He is, not in the places so many people put Him. I know the way to do this is to read His word and, yep, pray.

But more about the program itself. I was the head-leader-doosy-whatsit person for the kinder-prep group (being the prep expert that I am! haha). Although they're only preps, amazing things happened. God really 'facilitated' a discussion and we were all running around so happy! God really worked in these kids lives.

I began to get discouraged on the last day as there were not any 'decisions' been made from the kids to follow Christ. Sometimes we can be so concerned that we get them 'over that line', that we forget that God is even working in their lives, preparing them to make the decision.

Anyway, here are some key memories from mission:

• The kinder-preps saying "It's ok, God loves you anyway".. became a bit of a catch-phrase
• That whole "poof" thing
• I said a Boom-chicka Boom!
• We don't burn down the school, we don't eat soap, we don't drink vinegar (eeewgh!)
• Doug, Dougless and Dougette (yay, I was Dougette!)
• McFlumpy
  
• "one" - haha, on ya Craig!
• The whole joke thing
• The censored word: M-ne
• Hey ain't that funky now
• Praise the Lord, I saw the light!
• I feel like Royal- Tea. Woah woah (Sammy's pathetic rip-off of Hillsong Kids song "royalty")
• Steff and Sammy's stupidity on friday night. (Think Sammy with a red cup on her head and Steff very much ROFLing. Gotta love tiredness)
• Late nights
• Early mornings!
• And above all, God and his power moving in everything.

And just for the record, check out what I wrote about mission back in September

wiiouch!

who needs a gym when you have the wii. I was going mad in baseball New Years Eve, and I woke up with the SOREST arms. I woke up this morning and they're even looking bruised.

Ouch. :(

a bronze babe and a chocolate Steff

On Wednesday night, Steff and I dyed our hair at about 1 in the morning. Oh the things you do when you're tired and under the influence of Sammy!

The lovely Steff went a lovely brown chocolate, while I went for a bronze babe. (How wrong does that sound!?) The results were impressive.

We also watched a retro movie called Down with Love. Well, Steff watched it, I slept through parts, munched on chicken twisties to try and stay awake, and still managed to get the general jist of the movie. It inspired me to invest in a beret.

4-5am saw us in bed, sending hilarious 1c texts across the house. I somehow managed to get up at 10am and cleaned parts of the house.

Pictures? Well, because it's either my dial-up or blogger being stupid I have uploaded them to my deviantart. Click here to see before and after pics. Click here to see even more pics!!!

Your Hair Should Be Orange

Expressive, deep, and one of a kind.You pull off "weird" well - hardly anyone notices.

What's" Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

so this is christmas...

I have noticed that so many people get caught up in the commercialism and business of Christmas. It doesn't have to be like this, there is a choice.

In John Lennon's song "So this is Christmas", the end line repeats and fades into the end of the song: "war is over, if you want it". It's true. Christmas is like a war. A war with commercialism. But it doesn't have to be like that at all. It is only this commercialised stress because that's what you make it. The war can be over, but only if you want it...

community scale

This is what I call the 'community scale'. The orange pentagon is the church, the green is our community (not the church community, for example, for me, it would be Greater City of Bendigo), and then the blue is more on the world scale.

This has come from me thinking about how I see churches 'reach out' to the community. Vinyard Church run breakfast for people who don't have enough to eat, the salvos, well, do lots. And our church? I'm not sure what we do. I guess we are reaching out to the community of Epsom by planting a church there.

Me, personally on the scale? I can be in many places. I can be very church-centric, hiding between the walls of the church. I am involved in a mission that is reaching out to kids from Bendigo, and then then I am a bit in the blue, too. I'm here and there in SA, I sponsor a child in Senegal, and I plan to go back to Indonesia.

Jesus told us to go out into the world. Where are you?

the worship language of Sammy

after God's own heart.... by ~notsoemobadger on deviantART

^ If you can't see the picture in the embedded object up there, click here.

I have realised that I need to paint more.

I believe we have different 'worship langauges', and I don't think they should be limited by what a book says, if that is there are only 5. Some people do it through singing, some dancing, some through conversation (another one of mine).

Worship is a when you are 'connected' with God. I discovered my connection when I painted this picture.

I have always liked art (yet this doesn't mean I am good at it!). It is a way I can just sit back, relax, and draw/paint what's on my mind. I notice that when I don't do it once in a while, I begin to get agitated! I felt like I could really connect with God by doing this. I listened to a sermon, and some music while doing it. I could pray, I expressed to God through what I was doing. Worship is a verb, it's an action!

The painting I did this morning was inspired by David, known as a Man after Gods own Heart. And you can see that through the kind of things he wrote in the bible (if this is wrong please correct me!). That's what I want to be. A woman after God's own heart.

My worship language is seemingly art, and I'm happy with that.

smokin'

Last Friday I spent all day in the smoke with my friend Cara.

The smoke was so thick, you could barely see 5m in front of you.

This was the cathedral at about 11am,



and this is the same thing a few hours later..


If it is this bad here, it must be really bad where the fires are, over 300 km away from here...

wally and grace

I brought some fish yesterday, redirect to my dA for more:

• My fish
• A Christmas for my fish
  

Feel free to comment here

a song that saved my life

over a month ago I was going through a really bad patch. A friend of mine e-mailed me out of concern. He emailed me a copy of this song:

Skillet- The last night

[ listen to it on YouTube ]

You come to me with scars on your wrist,

You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this.

“I just came to say goodbye,

I didn’t want you to see me cry, I’m fine”

But I know it’s a lie

This is the last night you’ll spend alone

Look me in the eye so I know you know

I’m everywhere you want me to be

The last night you’ll spend alone

I’ll wrap you in my arms and I won’t let go

I’m everything you need me to be

Your parents say everything is your fault

But they don’t know you like I know you; they don’t know you at all

“I’m so sick of when they say:

‘It’s just a phase, you’ll be okay. You’re fine’”

But I know it’s a lie

This is the last night you’ll spend alone

Look me in the eye so I know you know

I’m everywhere you want me to be

The last night you’ll spend alone

I’ll wrap you in my arms and I won’t let go

I’m everything you need me to be

The last night away from me

The night is so long when everything’s wrong

And if you give me your hand, I’ll help you hold on

Tonight, tonight

This is the last night you’ll spend alone

Look me in the eye so I know you know

I’m everywhere you want me to be

The last night you’ll spend alone

I’ll wrap you in my arms and I won’t let go

I’m everything you need me to be

I won’t let you say goodbye

And I’ll be your reason why

The last night away from me, away from me

First of all I need to confirm that I was not suicidal. I am not a suicidal person, because I would be absolutely scared to a) die, and b) face God after I did something like that.

Now before you get all angry about this being a song that sounds suicidal, it has a fantastic point to it.

I just think this is a fantastic song, because it has so much truth in it. God is everything we need. We will never be alone. It's just wow. Self explanatory. This song made me cry, it made me feel valued, and a bit special.

So the thanks for this goes out to Tim. This song 'saved my life', share it with a friend today and save theirs.

walking on egg shells

Have you ever felt like to be in ministry you need to be almost perfect or fit into a certain criterea?

I strongly believe that you will never find a church that is 100% perfect. We are made to be imperfect; it is God that makes us perfect in his sight.

So the criteria I've noticed? Of course firstly you need to be a fully committed Christian, and that is definitely always going to be a must have, and I fully agree. Other things that you maybe shouldn’t do are date a non-Christian, watch certain movies, gamble, etc etc. I guess what is most scary is that I could tick a few of these off, that if I were to have such a place in ministry, I’d be long gone. I think that it is important though to have these rules, because ministry is where you become a role model to other people, however what about the sins that we can hide deep in our hearts that nobody sees? The lust, greed, and everything else?

So this one day, I decided that I wanted to live my life like this: I tried not to sin. I tried not to do anything that if anyone found out would kick me out of my imaginary ministry. And I can tell you, with all that was going on at the time, and with everything life threw at me, it felt like I was walking on egg shells. Soon I realised that it was hard not to sin, and that we were made sinful, and I’d just have to live with it. I also realised that I was too busy trying not to do things that wouldn’t let me be in this ministry, that I forgot all about what it was that God actually required of me.

So, what is ministry? I believe that ministry can be a leadership, or ministering to ministerees (I just made that word up) of any shape, size or form. I don’t think you need to be up on a stage to be involved in ministry. I don’t think you even need a police check. Ministry can be one beggar, trying to help another beggar to find bread. I don’t think you need to be ‘official’ in anything to be in a ministry. Jesus ministry is for everyone.

We are all sinners. The one in ministry is no better than the one in the pew. I think that it is important for those leaders to be an example of Gods saving grace. That they are not worth it, but because of God’s grace in their life, they are justified and made righteous.

Jesus has called us to have a free life, that doesn't mean being reckless, but it doesnt mean walking on eggshells either.

Guess what! If you’re a Christian, you’re in ministry. It’s our job to tell people about Jesus, and build up those who already know about Him. So how is your ministry going, anyway?

Day by Day

(I'm so sorry about my use of you tube, its the only means I can find - can you help me out, Tim?)

Point of Grace - Day by Day
I'm not unhappy but I'd take the train today
If you'd let me
If you'd let me
They may be clapping for me but I wait for you to come get me
Come, come get me

Cause day by day you're coming closer
Making our way clearer and straighter
Turning our faces into the light
And I can't wait to fall at your glory
On my face, God of the morning
You're coming closer
Day by day

Somebody told me I could travel the world
To find beauty
To find beauty
But to behold it I would have to carry it within me
Yeah well it's in me

Cause day by day you're coming closer
Making our way clearer and straighter
Turning our faces into the light
And I can't wait to fall at your glory
On my face, God of the morning

You're coming closer
Day by day

Give me a mission if I've still got the time
Cause I'm open
Yeah I'm open
Be my vision and I'll be your delight
Cause I'm going wherever you're going

Turning faces into the light
And I can't wait to fall at your glory
On my face, God of the morning
You're coming closer
Day by day

Cause day by day you're coming closer
Making our way clearer and straighter
Turning our faces into the light
And I can't wait to fall at your glory
On my face, God of the morning
You're coming closer
Day by day

Cause day by day you're coming closer
Making our way clearer and straighter
Turning our faces into the light
And I can't wait to fall at your glory
On my face, God of the morning
You're coming closer
Day by day

[I encourage you to listen to this song and read/sing along to the lyrics]

I heard this song on lifeFM today. I don't know if I'm getting caught up in the wonder of the song, but it has made me think.

This song seems to be that we cant wait to fall at Gods glory, yet there's worlds to be saved, and we're to busy sitting and waiting. This can very much be applied to my own life.

The end of the world really scares me. Like, I know i shouldn't be worried, but quite honestly, I dont know what is going to happen! But again this is something I know that I trust God on..

"And I can't wait to fall at your glory, on my face, God of the morning, You're coming closer, day by day"

This line gives me a bit of comfort. Being a bit of a sucker for the 'supernatural' stuff of God, I think that its going to be an absolutely amazing thing to actually FALL on our faces to God! And we cant even to begin to comprehend how, why and what! And despite we probably think that wont be that good now, I'm pretty sure when we're at that point we'll not be able to do anything but worship God for ever and ever!

*insert bible verses here*

Comments or anything anyone wants to add?

The Abused

"When you were abused, so was He..."

I came up with the idea for this drawing on a bus last week, while I was pondering about how horrible my somebody had been to me.

I felt violated, upset and this really hurt. I felt like I'd been emotionally and verbally abused.

This made me think about abuse a bit. Millions of children all over the world are abused in many different ways, be it physically, emotionally, spiritually or verbally, or however else. Emotional abuse is the leader in child abuse, with 34% of cases. [read this PDF!]

In a spiritual sense, we always would tell someone that God is there. And if you try to visualise it, where do you think he would be? I think that many would visualise Him standing there watching. I don't think that at all. I think that Jesus was there, in that situation, feeling the same, if not more, pain that you were. In fact, there would be NOTHING he wouldn't understand. That's what I'm trying to represent in the painting. All those scars, he has them, and more.

"If God really cared about me he wouldn't have let this happen to me." My friend, he does care. In fact one day you will probably realise something good come out of this situation. It could be you become a good friend for someone else. Like Adrian Rowse says, use the situation to get closer to God.

Abuse is wrong. Tell someone about it. I cannot stress this enough. Be it you or a friend, or yourself, tell someone! (Take the risk) Often this is easier said than done.

This is something I am afraid of. In 2 years I will be a fully qualified teacher. Child abuse often goes unnoticed in so many children. How can I put a stop to that?

Anyway, I'll leave it there, but I'd really appreciate some comments on this.

Isaiah 53:4-5

4 Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
smitten by him, and afflicted.

5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.

Singular hope

I heard this really good sermon by a guest speaker at my church a few weeks ago. He spoke about being 'single', and it wasn't merely aimed at young people. I didn't realise that so many older people are single, and this can be for various reasons such as they never married, widowed, divorced, etc. I am not single, nor do intend on becoming that. But something I have learnt from this is that we all nonetheless in a relationship need that 'God space'.

The focus scripture of this is 1 Corinthians 7:17-24, 32-35:

17Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.
18Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised.
19Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God's commands is what counts.
20Each one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him.
21Were you a slave when you were called? Don't let it trouble you—although if you can gain your freedom, do so.
22For he who was a slave when he was called by the Lord is the Lord's freedman; similarly, he who was a free man when he was called is Christ's slave.
23You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men.
24Brothers, each man, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation God called him to
...
32I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord.
33But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.
35I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

Going back to verse 17:

Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.

We are 'called' every day. For example, what is the role of a teacher, mother, father, .. Mother Theresa? Now Mother Theresa, her calling would have been very different if she did not have kids. In a biblical sense, Hagar raised Ishmael alone, Naomi raised her sons alone and Moses was raised by Pharaohs daughter!

So, is being single a good or bad thing?
Going back to verses 32-34:

I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.

In this scripture, Paul is implying that it can be better to NOT be married! Like, woah. Being single (if just for now, times to come, or even for ever) can be a chance to devote and grow in God. Now that actually sounds good. Some people are actually single because they feel they want to grow in Christ.

Another passage noteworthy at the moment, Phillippians 4:12-14.

12I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
13I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
14Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles.

Coming out of a failed marriage people can feel like a 'second class christian'. This can usually be the way people treat others.. in a church!! God shows us grace and love. Do we show the same back?

So, does it feel like your dreams are fading away? I know it sounds cliché, but PRAY. God fufills the desires of our heart! And He uses circumstances! Jesus didn't promise a care free life, but one that is full in christ!

The hurting

I've been thinking about why people church-hop so much.

People go to one church, they get what they can from that church, until they've got there entertainment from that church, and move on to the next one. This happens over and over again. Church isnt about sitting back and watching, taking in, and getting spoon fed. I really, really believe that it is about relationship. Because God didnt put us on this earth to be alone, and made us to be not only in relationship with him, but also with others. And when people come to a church, and cant get a relationship, this can cause them to leave. I would rather go to a desolate old church with an organ, and have relationship with people, than go to a massive church with millions of people, have awesome 'annointed' worship, but nobody notice me.

2 Corinthians 9:13: Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, men will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else.

A lady I know used to have this 'gift', when she knew if someone was hurting, or in trouble, and she continuously would be getting these 'vibes' about this one girl in our youth group. I'm pretty sure she still does to this day. I dont know if this is a spiritual gift, or just something God stirs in your spirit. And how to fix things when you feel like someone is hurting? I believe it is prayer, understanding, compassion, love, and relationship. People think that just by praying for someone, it will fix things. Dont get me wrong, it can, and prayer is wonderful and works! But dont limit God in the ways he works. God can work through YOU! My main point here is relationship is important.

God may put someone on your heart that you just can't stop thinking about (realistically speaking, Im not talking about like being in love, more out of concern or something.) When our youth group in my home town had just been established, and the bunch of us were only month-old christiansour youth leader was explaining to us the above concept, of how sometimes thats how God wants us to pray for someone. One of the girls said that she had one of her friends on her mind constantly in the past week. So we prayed for that girl. The next day, on the front page of the newspaper was a report of a murder. The person murdered? That girls cousin.. See what I mean! A bit too freaky to be a coincidence?

The Dish

This morning I was procrastinating (as I am now) and watching TV, when an ad came on for New South Wales tourism. Now, I dont have much of a knowledge about New South Wales, in fact, my only travels usually get to about Moama. I realised today that there is a dream of mine that has not yet been fufilled.

What's that dream? I know that this may seem strange, but, I really really want to go to Parkes!

Why Parkes? Do you ask? Because I want to go and see the massive sattelite dish! Have you ever seen the movie, The Dish? Well, since it came out in 2001ish, I've always wanted to go there!

I was pondering a visit there this morning, and then realised that this dream was always a dream I had when I lived in South Australia, and I havent thought about it up until today in Victoria. And to that I realised that I am probably not that far away from Parkes anymore!!

I was wrong. It's probably about 8 hours away. Dang.

the 'twice a year' christian society

This is a rough translation of what we were translating in my Indonesian class on tuesday:

A: Good day, sir. Why on earth are you all dressed up like that?
B: You've forgotten? Indeed, it is friday! You must be going to the mosque. But hang on, you don't go to the mosque, or even to church, am I right?
A: It doesnt matter! It's important we believe in God. And its important we respect religion and the beliefs as other people.
B: What meaning is there in religion if you don't follow it! It's just as bad as being an unbeliever!
A: Yeah, but, you know, I'm not saying I'm a 'strict' follower of a religion. Gosh, praying five times a day [this is what muslims believe in] is too hard for me! After all, God doesnt care.. As long as I'm generous!
B: Far out! Why aren't you obediant to this? Aren't you afraid of hell?
A: Nah! My view on life is pretty different.
B: Good grief. [etc etc cant be bothered translating the rest]

People have that view in western culture too. If we're 'nice' and apply good moral behaviour, and stay out of prison we're going to all be okay. A lot of people call themselves christians, but are the 'twice a year' ones (on easter and christmas). Australia is known to be a christian nation. But there is so much more depth to christianity than meets the eye. Then there's some christians that 'write their own bible', which means they either manipulate or remove things from the word of God to justify their behaviour. Sadly enough, I have seen this done, in a church in this city. I used to go to a church where it was almost like it was just a 'nice thing to do' to go to church, and people were astonished that I'd be at a church without my family. Because my parents never went to church! It was really just good morale to go to church, but talking about relationship with God, or the holy spirit, was discouraged.

People are often given the misconception that Christianity can be a bit like Islam in the fact that there's rules and things you need to do to get to God, to 'earn' that place. Like that whole praying 5 times a day with Islam. People think that they have to 'have no fun' because they are a christian. But this is a lie, because Jesus died so that we could have life to the fullest. Now, this doesnt mean everything will be easy (another big misconception about christianity), but you have that secret weapon - God. There's no steps to being a christian. It's a yes to God, believing and confessing that Jesus is Lord. That said, by actually following the bible, would probably be most beneficial for your walk.

Have a look at these:

[Matthew 20:1-16]

[Luke 14:28-33]

Leaving unchanged

The pastor at my church said something this morning which really stood out to me. I can highly relate to him, and see it often in todays church society:

There are churches that are very traditional, if you speak you will be shown the door. 12pm comes, the service ends, people leave unchanged.

However on the other hand...

There are churches that are very 'new age'. Every week end there is shouting, falling down, speaking in tongues and what not. 12pm comes, the service ends, people leave unchanged.

Thats so very true.

Five Love Languages

Stolen from Dawn, I dont think its very accurate, though. I didn't know which ones to pick half the time...

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Quality Time
with a secondary love language being
Acts of Service.

Complete set of results

Quality Time:		11
Acts of Service:		8
Physical Touch:		4
Words of Affirmation:		4
Receiving Gifts:		3

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

All things retro!

I got a new blog!!! (yeah another one)

http://allthingsretro.blogspot.com

All fall short

In the recent past, a friend came to me and revealed something about them that would have been hard to tell someone.

What they told me was something that often christians would react in a way which would blind them from their sight.

But all I felt was love for this person. A feeling of compassion came over me.

In the past (just not as recent), I came to a friend and revealed something about myself that was extremely hard to tell someone.

I dont exactly know what that persons reaction was in their head or their heart, but I do know that no matter how bad whatever was going on, they still very much have loved me and maintained a lot of respect despite my flaws.

It happens a lot in todays society. I see people walk away from God, or struggle with something, and sometimes christians can react in a way that isnt so loving, and judgemental.

We need to keep reminding ourselves that we have all fallen short of the glory of God, that we should not judge, or God will also judge us, and that we should love each other or we're going to be useless. It also says in the bible to help others that go through all kind of things.

Nobodies sin is greater or lesser than yours. WE ARE ALL SINNERS! And there's nothing we can do about it. But God is an ever-forgiving God.

I guess what Im trying to say is dont turn your back on people with some problems. Its a mistake too many christians make today. We say we are loving, and compassionate but we turn the struggling away.

I guess this leads up to what the pastor will be speaking about at my church in the upcoming sunday night services about Issues todays church faces. At first I thought this was going to be very confronting, but I think that it is going to be really good to hear.

Jesus Camp

There's a movie coming out in America called Jesus camp. Its about training children to become "soldiors of God". I think it would be worth a look, as I love getting into discussions about this. Is it right or is it wrong?

Information and trailers here.

kids ministry

But Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.
Luke 18:16

Today I went to a training day for a mission that I am hoping to be involved in in Janurary.

I didnt know what to get out of today, but I think I got more than I origionaly thought I would. A lot of things hit me in my personal walk today. Thats kind of interesting when you're here for a kids ministry thing.

This will probably get long, so if you dont have a lot of time, stop reading now. From here on, the red text is my thoughts on stuff that was said today, and stuff I'd appreciate comments on.

The purpose statement for the ministry is this: "We exist to have a relationship with God, and flowing from that, to see people connected with God, welcomed into his family and equipped for ministry."

Relationship

• Love the Lord your God with all your heart.
• 1"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes^[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. 3You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

  5"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. 8This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. John 15:1-8.
  

• If we're not in it with God, then we'll just be put into the fire because we are fruitless and worthless.
• There's a difference between doing and being. Ever been asked what you do? And there's always the response of teacher, or a nurse, or student.. etc? In our culture, a lot of "who we are" can be shaped around "what we do". So what is your identity? Is it in who you are, or what you do? If this mission is to be ran simply on doing (because you must do stuff too! Its not a one way street!) and not being, there will be no spiritual fruit and we will burn out!
• To my 'unsaved' friends, they probably know me as Sammy, what I do, study education, they know I go to church but I dont talk about it enough. Who I am? Probably the biggest thing that comes out is South Australian. And who are you?
  

Connected

• "Go and make disciples" [not converts]. The difference between a disciple and merely a convert is a disciple is someone who follows Jesus, wheras a 'convert' simply hasnt gone anywhere yet.
  
• Kids can respond to God in a real way, and God wants to use kids to build his kingdom.
  

Welcomed

• "baptise them". (That doesnt mean litterally immerse them with water at the mission)
• Need to think about children who dont go home to christian families. Some arent even allowed to go to church - what happens to them then?
  

Equipped

• As above, make disciples, not just converts.
• Help christian kids be all that God wants them to be!
• Need to teach them how to grow as christians (prayer, mentoring, bible, worship, fellowship...)

Ministry

• "Love your neighbour as yourself."
• Kids can minister to others
• No one is too young to serve Jesus and make a difference.
• Instill confidence in kids to use their gifts. God can use gifts as much as he can use us.

Prayer

• Why pray?
  Well, to talk to God! God desires communication. He has commanded us to pray, and things change when we pray. Its the same as with a relationship with a friend. If you dont talk to them, or you refuse to listen, what kind of friendship is that???
• Evangelism is most ineffective without prayer. The enemy will tremble when you pray. Not praying is like a soldior without a weapon. Prayer is a weapon - use it!
• Prayer is the (not a) key to evangelism. It increases our effectiveness as witnesses for christ. The spiritual battles must be fought with spiritual weapons. (see ephesians 6:12). A person can only be released from Satans grip by the power of God. There's darkness and there's light. You can only be under 'dominion' of one.
• How does prayer work?
  God acts in response to to our prayers - victories won in the spiritual realm! Those we pray for are changed. The church will be changed, we will be changed.
• Spiritual strongholds can be seen (and unseen) in kids here in Bendigo. Some things that the devil uses to stop kids coming to christ are mindsets, situations, afflictions, influence, humanism/materialism taught in schools (aghh!), negative portrayal of christianity, whichcraft and abuse.
• Pray...
  ... in unity, "when two or gather in my name I will be with them"
  ... persistently - Dont do it enough
  ... with discernment
  ... in the power of the spirit -
  ... with authority -
  ... with repentance
  ... with fasting - something I dont know a lot about
  ... specifically
  ... with faith
  ... with people - a bit like unity
  ... by claiming Gods promises - something I need to explore
  ... for people
• Lost for ideas to pray for? Try for God to draw people to himself, for more workers for the harvest field, for Gods kingdom to come, for the church, for God to be glorified, for the salvation of people.
• Prayer strategies: 24 hour mondays (do you think it'd be wrong to do this during SOSE lectures?), Days of prayer and fasting, prayer newsletters, team members using intercessory gifts, Prayer walking.
• More: ecclesiasties 2:26 and Exodus 12:35.

Someone's brilliant speech about child development (refresh my memory from uni!)

Maslows heirachy of needs!

To achieve growth, the needs that need to be met are self esteem, belongingness and love, safety, and physiological needs. Plain and simple!

My thoughts on childrens ministry...

There is really a special place in my heart for kids ministry. Gosh, Im becoming a teacher, for goodness sake! But I have a personal testimony that prooves the importance of children hearing about Jesus at a young age... By giving this testimony I am not looking for sympathy, but it is basically something I really want to give glory to God for, and possibly encourage others to think and pray about this issue for kids in their community.

My parents were not christian. But for some odd reason, my sister and I always went to sunday school. I think it may have been because of the fact that the church was desperate on numbers, and needed to rely on the wider community, because I remember a lot of my friends that were also not from churched homes went as well (unless there was some kind of strange mini temporary revival in the early 90's that I dont know about). Yes, every sunday, mum would dress my sister and I up in our prettiest dresses and off we went to sunday school.

When I got that bit older, I was able to go to KUCA camp-out (Kids of the Uniting Church Australia) that was always held at West Beach caravan park in Adelaide. This was quite often the highlight of my year.

When I was 8, my parents seperated. This was really difficult as a child of my age. I was a mess - at 8!!!

I was still going to Kids Camp Out and there was this desire within me to know God. The church gave me a Good News Bible (with pictures!) and I started to read it. Not a lot made sense though. I signed the commitement at the back of the bible. I have this bible here with me in Bendigo. I would have been 10 when I decided to sign this:

On this date:

1/4/97

I recieved God's offer. Jesus forgave me and became my Saviour and Lord. His spirit came to live in my life.

SJSmedley

(signed)

One night I woke up at a very odd hour and I was really frightened. What did I start to do? I prayed. I didnt fully understand or know God, I was only about 10, but I called out to him, I told him I trusted him. I remember a peace flow through me, and I went back to sleep.

This came and went. God was a big part in my life, but I didnt really understand a lot.

In 2001, there was a similar scenario as above, except things were different. I was in a bit more of a wreck. I was in year 9 at school, 14 years old. The church had invited me on an 'easter camp' . This was with a whole bunch of youth from around the reigon. I was not the nicest of kids. I was swearing, I was cursing, I was a plain wreck. But on the last night of that camp I gave my life to Jesus for real. Someone hugged me that night and said that my life would never be the same again. Gosh, were they right!

Later that year I revisited what I'd signed at the end of my bible. I put a cross through it, and rewrote:

On this date

23/10/2001

I recieved God's offer. Jesus forgave me and became my Saviour and Lord. His spirit came to live in my life.

SJSmedley

Relating this all back to life for kids today in not only where I live now, but the world. There are kids, facing the same stuff as I have, just like that, all over the city. I was an outcast because my family was broken, but these days it is very normal for kids to be in these situations. It is more and more common, and there are worse things happening. Peer pressure, hurt, abuse! Its not ok to be bound by these things!

I want to influence this generation, because they again will be the next generation of influence. We need to reach out to those who are hurting!

When I got a bit older and maturer in my walk with God, I got involved with my childrens ministry in my home town. At one stage I was in a position of influence with the youth as well. It was a bit depressing to have to move, land in a new environment, and 'start over', and its great to get back into it. I have to go home on tuesday, I might just revisit the kids ministry there.

I will now leave you with a verse that is at the bottom of the signing-commitment of my Good News Bible, which has now occured to me how true and real it has been in my life over these nearly 12 years now.

"Everyone who calls out to the Lord for Help will be saved."
Romans 10:13

Who I am.. Who I am not...

Today I have seen a few things worth blogging about.

This morning, at church (short street), a couple spoke about their recent missions trip to china. It was really touching some of the stuff they did. I would love to go over. There were so many things in what they were talking about which reminded me of Indonesia.

It is funny how I longed to go over to Asia to do what they were doing. I still do long for it. But how important is it to me? I know that part of this is why Im here in Bendigo. There is the smidget of opportunity to go over to China next year with them.

I was pondering this today. If this was what God wanted me to do, how willing would I be to go over there? Would I risk the safety, the distance from Hamish, my friends, my money, or even would I risk a semester of uni, meaning not being able to graduate with my friends? What would I sacrifice for God?

At the moment, short street don't have sunday night services in the school holidays. Cara invited me around to her house, and then after we were going to go to the AOG.

I was kind of excited about going to the AOG, seeing things that I wouldnt normally see at Short Street. And dont get me wrong, it was an exciting experience. I dont mind the fact that Short Street doesnt make a habit of that kind of stuff, in fact, Im really happy that my mind isnt consumed by all of this every weekend.

The sermon was pretty good, he had some really good things to say. Unfortunately I didnt take notes.

Video killed the radio star

When the internet miraculously kicked back in today, I celebrated by listening to online radio. Cvc wouldnt work for some reason, so I listened to Adelaide's 107.9 lifeFM. (used to listen to this station whenever I ventured to Adelaide). So I'm listening to this really strange out there song, about "I saw the light" or something. The best way to describe it almost would be like "the devil went down to Georgia" style. (I just found out it was by Jonny Cash: youtube it if you wanna hear it)

Anyway, the presenter was quite amused with it, and he joked about how because he'd played such a song people were going to chase him down the streets of Adelaide. Nonetheless, he said that if you liked the song, send him an email.. So what do I do? I send an email.

I loved that song you just played! (the I saw the light song)

Greetings from an on line listener in Bendigo, Victoria :)

Sammy

I thought that would make his day. I went on to do stuff in my room, and then I heard him come back on and he's like, "before I continue (laughs) I recieved an email (he kinda laughs as he says it), its from Sammy in Bendigo, and she says that she loved the song I just played. So a big hello to Sammy over there in Bendigo! You're lucky you're so far away that people cant come and chase you down the street!"

It was by far, the most exciting part of my day.

No broadband

Well, as of sunday night the broadband died. Which really sucked. Because I wasnt going to have it back until my RA got back from his trip and reset the router, but it has miraculously started working again. Which is kinda bad cos Im procrastinating.

11/09/2006

The cutest thing happened to me last night at church. At the beginning of the service, a 5 year old boy was sitting next to me. He gave me a flower and said "this is for you and your mother". It was awfully cute! I guess you just had to be there.

This boy, with such a character and life, gave me hope. Just in that, he reassured me that I wanted to be a teacher.

We talk about God fufilling the desires of our hearts. I remember when I got that 3rd round offer into education, I got a message from a good friend of mine saying, "God really does fufill the desires of our hearts!" That said, he doesnt always fill them the way you expect them to.

The day I got my enter score, my heart broke. I knew that there would now be no way to get into the course here in Bendigo. BUT, how could it be the end? It was my dream, and I had such a desire to do the course in Bendigo. Not in Adelaide, not in Mildura - Bendigo. And, you know, thats a tad odd for someone who comes from a place like Pinnaroo, also a bit odd for someone like me, who you'd see go and do some kind of biblical course, probably at the time would have joined PCOM or YWAM. But no, there was this YEARNING to be here in Bendigo!

So I doubted. I doubted that I would ever make it to my 'dream city', and started looking at other options. But in the end, God had it all under control. That year, many people deffered, and many new places were opened. My enter was about 2 points off the final cut off.

In year 12, this was a dream. Living far away from SA, being my own person, relying on God alone. Its happning, but Im still learning.

So I still want to be a teacher.

13/09/2006

I gotta go home to Pinnaroo over the holidays. My measly one week. Its really difficult in one week; I spend two days just getting to and from Pinnaroo.

I felt like part of the 'life of the church' on sunday night. Just by this funny little thing happening... It was time for the offering, and Andrew held up the two offering bags, and was going to let "two little people" do it. Obviously, because he has before, he is going to let two of the little kids do it. Here I scrounging in my wallet for offering money, when I hear him say "Sammy and Cara". And I thought he was kidding! I dont know how to do offering no matter how easy it is! But alas I got through it. This little thing made me feel like Ive kinda lost that 'visitor' status and Im more of a 'regular'.