No more Miss-Smedley-nice-guy (or gal)

I have been giving a lot of thought into what it is I'm actually called to do. I'm a bit bummed that every thursday I am spending on this prac I am not there, which is the day Indonesian is. But I think I get that God has sent me to this school not for Indonesian this time around.

Today was good enough. Feeling a lot better, however my ears have actually been hurting, and my muscles hurt like I've been hit by a truck. I don't know what I've done to myself. I'm really tired too. Blah.

I took a PE lesson today. I don't feel really all that comfortable when it comes to PE. Because it was a repeat lesson, it went a lot better, but at the same time, I'm a little dissapointed in myself. I'd expect myself to be much better at all this by 3rd year.

My supervising teacher hit the problem on the head. His exact words was like something that just totally suddenly made sense. He told me that I was being too much of a nice teacher, he even said I was overly nice. Now whilst this sounds like a wonderful compliment, it's a problem. I need to be firmer, I need to be more authoritative, and a bit harsher, and actually enforce some strategies. I need to just take control of the class. I can do this.

I went to Big W tonight. The intention was going to the market place for shoes. My current shoes are either Dunlop Volleys or my black shoes, which are absolutely no good for winter, or for teaching sport in. In fact, on tuesday when we had the big rain, I was wearing my black shoes, and they're so worn, water was getting in through the soles!

I hate being female. Like totally. For the reason that there is such a big pressure to look in fashion. That I go into shops and feel under a lot of pressure, because the clothes at home look nothing like the ones on the shelf. I don't want to bow to any materialism of this world! But it's a struggle - I want my own style! It's a struggle that is really evident in the church too. I went through a stage where I dreaded sundays, because I had nothing to wear to church.

I ended up getting some leggins to wear under my pants to keep me a bit warmer, considering most of the 'professional' pants are so cold! I got some long sleeved tops too to go under clothes for extra warmth. I saw they had gloves, and this inspired me. I need new gloves, but I only like the ones without the fingers. I also buy childrens ones because my hands are smaller. While on the voyage for looking for these gloves, I found this groovy little hat. It didn't have a price, and it had some stitching undone. Score - a damaged item! Got it cheap! It keeps my head warm. Hopefully it can help me save some money on the warming bills. Read on...

(my new hat!)

When I was at the info desk of Big W trying to ask for a discount on my new hat, I was stuck behind this man, and his three children returning a broken Playstation. He was getting rather angry as the woman at the info desk was trying to tell him to call the company, and that she couldn't help him because he didnt have the right reciept. But he just ended up getting really angry, waving his fists at her. She was pretty upset by the whole thing. While this whole ordeal unfolded, a few things were running through my mind.

The first was that when I went to a Scripture Union gathering once. We were talking about the concept of blessing people. We got onto just simply being in the post office, being polite to the person at the counter, thanking them for their time. I knew that when this man left I wanted to be the opporsite for this lady, and be polite, as she looked as though she was about to cry. In fact, when he left, she walked off and another lady served her. (See Romans 12:14)

Then second thing that went through my mind was this mans actions, and the role model he was being to his children. What concerned me is what he was like at home. In my mind I began to pray for this family, and for the kids.

I have come to the discovery that Bendigo is a lot lower socio-economic than I initially thought. The thought of this scared me today, moreso the fact that if I end up teaching in a really low school. But the thing is, I could, and possibly will, do a lot worse than a Bendigo school. Am I too scared to go into a battlefield?

My good friend Christop, whom I have never met, but I read his blog, deals with this kind of stuff a lot. The people he meets and the places he goes are real battlefields. In fact I'm sure a lot of us are in them. But how far are we willing to go to reach out to these people?

And just now, through all of this I have been thinking, that there is so much of Bendigo untouched. There is so much of this city that is hurting, and we have the answer. There are kids who only know Jesus as a swear word.

We were talking on sunday night how teenagers are lost, but it starts with childhood. School definately isn't what it was when I went there.

And then I thought about what we (that is, kids4life) are doing in Bendigo. Currently we have 8 (I think) SUPA clubs in Bendigo (one of which I help out at in Golden Square) out of quite a lot of schools. I see such a need for 'my area' (well for now) in Bendigo. There is not a supa club at my school. Kids4life doesn't really target the kids in my area, and plus it's too far out. But I see the potential for growth with them, but really that's not up to me. Upmostly that is up to God, but then it's up to the leadership.

Anyway, someone comment, I'd really love you to share your thoughts.

And rate my new hat out of five stars!