election

As you all know, today is the federal election. I voted on thursday with my good friends Cara and Steff.

When you think about it, whatever happens today, we get a new prime minister.

21 today

"Are you really 21? I thought you were, 18!" - one of my mcdonalds co-workers

Last night I had a sleep over. Unfortunately, only Spatch came, but I didn't mind, because we had heaps of fun anyway.

We talked lots, watched a really bad movie, and really bad early morning tv.

And then this morning, she made me S-shaped pancakes.. with VEGEMITE!


and the day has just begun (ok it's 1pm, I'm still in my PJ's and waiting for my mum to arrive).

Sometimes I look at 21 as being "this is it", because now I'm just going to get old old. Not older but OLDER! But then, I think there is a beauty of being the baby of the group - I've watched my friends turn 21 and some 23 this year. My housemate will be 26 tomorrow. This gives me some hope that not only will I always have friends a bit older, but I've watched them have equally as much fun and sometimes equally as much immaturity.

Ah tonight shall be awesome! Stay tuned!

20/11/2006

It is exactly one year today since my Grandpa passed away.

I still miss him so much. To think that at his funeral, an exact week after, I would be flying to Indonesia in a years time. To think that I am nowhere near the person I was standing next to that grave as I am today. But the one thing that hasn't changed is how much I miss him, and am glad about so many good genes of him I have.

Sometimes, just the thought of him makes me smile - thinking, "he was a good chap"

Eggnog, anybody?

Today Cara and I ventured to Melbourne for almost only one purpose - to find Santa.



Mission successful, and Mez came too! Eggnog chickened out (you know who you are!)

kneebone flapping in the wind

Today, before I even had started work. I slipped on some water on my way into the crew room and stacked it! I fell onto my back, hitting my knee foroucisly on a bench.

For the rest of my shift I felt incredibly sore - my lower back in a lot of pain and my knee in quite sore. There's definately going to be a bruise there.

When it first happened it hurt so much I couldn't walk. I was so scared I'd really done some damage and wouldnt be able to go to Indonesia!

At the start of my shift I was in unbarable pain, but it got better as the shift went on. However, it still hurts!

I also felt like I was going to throw up, but I think that's what happens when you live on processed food, most being mcdonalds all week. I gotta look after myself better.

Collosians 3:

22Servants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not only when their eyes are on you as pleasers of men, but in simplicity of purpose, with all your heart, because of your reverence for the Lord and as a sincere expression of your devotion to Him.

23Whatever may be your task, work at it heartily from the soul, as something done for the Lord and not for men,

24Knowing with all certainty that it is from the Lord and not from men that you will receive the inheritance which is your real reward. The One Whom you are actually serving is the Lord Christ - the Messiah.

2 weeks and counting.

This time, in two weeks, I'll be flying somewhere between Jakarta and Makassar. That's a tad overwhelming thought.

This morning I got myself out of bed after the crazy, tiring, night that was, last night at McDonalds. Yawning, I made my way over to a school to help kids4life out with a breakfast program.

After that had finished, a few of us were in the staff room cleaning up. I was telling two of the girls there about how I was going to Indonesia. I heard a voice from behind say, "where abouts are you going?" Sitting behind me was a man with white hair.

I ended up sitting with this guy for a good half an hour talking about my trip. He even went and got an atlas. He said he travels to Indonesia nearly every year, and spends a lot of time in Makassar. This put to rest a few small fears of mine.

He told me about the setting of towns like Makassar: very poor, a lot of poverty around, some heart breaking stuff.

The thing I think that scares me the most about going to Indonesia, is coming home!

I remember in 2005 coming home feeling so unbelievably depressed about our higher living standard, and I know that I will be seeing things to a greater degree of poverty there.

I am coming home 4 days before christmas. This in itself freaks me out. My family really pride themselves in what they get each other at times. Presents become a real stress of christmas. But I don't want to come back to such commercialism! Ack!

I'm also really afraid of coming home and not caring about the things and people I used to care about before I left. I think I just need to motivate myself to get some accountability when I get home. There is no doubt that I will be even more passionate about changing the world than I used to be!

There's no doubt that this will change my life - it may break me too!

I can't believe I'm living the dream! Something that has been on my heart for 5 years - I am finally living it! I am going to Indonesia!

It's a lot of things. It's exciting, scary, overwhelming, and just plain "AAGH!"

And I'm sure it's just the beginning :)

washed clean and forgiven!

Tonight I was called into work at McDonalds. Close. I hate close. With a passion! Luckily I found myself out by 10:45 which really was a record for me.

I was innocently in the wash up room washing the spinners that go in the shake and sundae machines, when I turn, to see one of the guys I work with, come in, and chuck two containers of water on me!

Now at first, I thought he was just being stupid, but at the same time I was thinking.. why would you do that!!? I began to laugh when his face just dropped and did a lot of "oh my God"ing, and apologising fifty million times, asking the manager if we had any spare shirts. But all I did was laugh and laugh and laugh in hysterics. I wasn't mad at all! Basically, usually he by default would chuck this water aimlessly into the washup room, but didn't know I was there. It's nobodies fault, we all end up going auto-pilot by this time of night.

I was saturated and he followed me around the restraunt a bit apologising, and I was not angry at all. I kept telling him that it really was fine, and that I was just amused by it. (In fact, I'm still laughing about it). He was really amazed at how un-angry and gracious I was about the whole ordeal.

Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
(Luke 6:37)

It made me think about how we often will chuck the water, so to speak on God. And although He is probably angry when we do it, when we don't seem to be genuinely concerned, or to not realise we do it, but I wonder if He laughs when we come to him in repentance, over and over again.

Maybe it is like the saying "one day we'll laugh about it"...

shut up and pray!

And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment

(Phillippians 1:9)

Finally, brethren, pray for us, that the word of the Lord may run swiftly and be glorified, just as it is with you, and that we may be delivered from unreasonable and wicked men; for not all have faith.
(2 Thessalonians 3:1-2)

Some good points from John Bevere,

• Discernment is not SUSPICION. (Suspicion being fear motivated, and fear isn't of God).
• Discernment is CONCERN for others and their welfare. (it won't carry hidden agendas or critical spirits).
• Love is crucially important when discerning. Love cast's out all fear and gives an atmosphere where discernment (not suspician) can flow.
• Jesus confronted, but also loved. He confronted IN love.
• If you are discerning - pray rather than gossip! (And know the true difference between gossip and concern!)
• Check your motives (are you being ultra spiritual, or genuinely concerned?)

This was sure a wake up call for me. Really tested and challenged me! I have been guilty of trying to be ultra spiritual and suspicious on many occasions. I've been moved to use my discernment as a real thing to pray about (as it always should have been). ie, when an issue comes, just shutup (ie stop gossiping) and pray!

And yes, despite the man himself being in Melbourne, I didn't go to see him. This is merely adapted from his book, Victory in the Wilderness. (Pages 79-80)

What's in a name?

When I was born, my parents could only agree on one thing. This one thingwas to give me the name Samantha. Of all the names they could agree on, I wonder why this was the one. I really don't like this name, but as I get older I am starting to appreciate it more and more.

When I was in Reception (and for those who don't know, that's what they call 'Prep' in South Australia), my teachers stumbled upon a problem. I was not the only Samantha in the class. There was indeed, another Samantha. Now this could easily be fixed by just calling me Samantha S, right? Wrong! Because we both had surnames starting with S!

So when we entered into grade one, the first day, the classroom teacher fixed the problem. After a quick discussion, I was renamed Sammy, and the other Samantha just became Sam.

Sammy comes with a lot of little cliche's added at the end. Sammy the snail, the sea gull, sea slug, sea snail.. you get the picture. Many of which I got throughout my life at school.

My last name is Smedley. Smedley, in old english, means "smooth clearing". In about year six I made my own name for myself, which was Smedles [Smed-ools]. I tried to be Smeds but soon my sister got that title, and it sticked to her better than it did me. I remember kids turning Smedles into snails. And in my early high school days getting the names Sammy Smelly and Sammy Shmell-bad. And I was up for these terrible last names, because when you wrote Smedley into Microsoft Word, and you would click spell check, it would say Smedley: Did you mean Smelly?

Later into VCE, I was called either Shammy my car (I found that one amusing), C-mos (a very long story - and for those who don't know, it's a clock battery in your computer), Sammy Airways, and also, by my IT teacher, I was dubbed Sammy-badger-badger.

Time went on, and I didn't really get many more names. But then suddenly, about a year ago (although it seems so much longer!) I met this girl, who appears has has also been given a few different names. In fact, she quite commonly goes by the name of a cooking instrument.

It all started one night talking nonsense about various food, and it has grown into something greater.

You see, this friend of mine, she really likes brussels sprouts. So one day, after school, I went down to the local fruit and veg place, and brought her a bag of brussel sprouts.

On this bag, I wrote "You will always be my brussels sprout, no matter where you are, even when you're out of season!"

And so there started the new thing. She turned into Sprout, and somehow I was dubbed the name, "Broccoli".

A few weeks later I went to do a bit of stuff for kids4life at a school. I didn't know one of the guys were there, but some how he thought my name was "Flick". It started a new thing. My friend that DID know me began to call me Flick too! Luckily it hasn't stuck too much.

But going back to this Sprout friend of mine, last night we were getting into a very bizarre in depth conversation. I don't even know how it started. But basically, my new name now is Grandma.

But then my question is this: how can I be Sprout's grandma, when I am 2 years younger than her? We were trying to mathematically work this out last night, and I guess what I want to ask, dear blogger, is it possible, to have a grandmother who is 2 years younger than you? I'm interested to hear your responses!

I just wonder what my next name will be!

blog some more...

Most of you should know this already, as you should have got an email. If you didn't email, please talk to me, because I thought I had most of you on my contact list!

As of the 27th of November, through till the 21st of December, this blog will not be posted in. Instead, be directed over here.

Why not just post here you ask? Let me explain.

For one, I have forwarded my new blog to a lot of people, family members. The blog does not link to my profile or to my blog. I don't want that many people reading my blog, where people might become scared of my views or something. Link my parents to this blog? I don't think so!

The blog (as well as this one) is also unlisted on google for security reasons. That means no nasties can google me and find me and hunt me down or anything rediculous.

It's also easier than sending out bulk emails! Yay for blogs - the way of the future! Along with RSS, the way of the future. Thanks to Geoff (whom is the 'other half' of Bec) with this post, I've been converted to google reader - where hast thou been all my life??

So, lo and behold: TRAVELLING WITH SAMMY!

http://travel-with-sammy.blogspot.com

(in the meantime, please keep reading and commenting on this blog for the next 20 days :D)

God has ADD II

Back in February I blogged about God has ADD. This post could almost be called Sammy has ADD.

Tonight, after work, I visited Mez's family (minus Mez). I left at about 10:30 (so I stayed for about 2 hours). Apon getting outside and walking to my car, I realised there was flashes of lightning. I paused and adored the lightning for a few seconds.. then I realised I was indeed standing alone in the middle of Kangaroo Flat. A big no-no.

So I got into my car, and began to drive and admire this beauty! I went from Kangaroo Flat, the back way through the forrest to Spring Gully, and then through the city to find higher land. I then found myself out at Eaglehawk, followed by Epsom, somehow Epsom turned into Huntly, then I got sleepy, and I kinda felt God telling me, have some common sense and lets go home! Huntly then turned into Epsom again, then Epsom went back into Junortoun, becoming Strathdale and finally, Flora Hill.

All throughout this journey, I saw planes (as in, supposedly jumbo jets going in and out of Melbourne): imagine the show they'd be getting!

It's funny, because last time, God was screaming, Look at me! This time, I was yelling, SHOW ME MORE! ... Who has ADD now?

Often the lightning wouldn't be in my view. On numerous occasions I went to look over my shoulder to check a blind spot or what not, and there I'd see a flash of lightning. Yep, God was trying to point out something to me.

(Psalm 139)
8 If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
9 If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.

It doesn't matter where you look. If you look over your shoulder, in the rear view mirror, or actually keep your eyes on the road - I am there!

I was listening to some beautiful, definately 'anointed' music. It didn't have words, it was just instrumental piano and violin (however I know the words anyway). In this time, chasing after the lightning, I started really getting into some of the questions that were on my heart in this post, which I wrote merely yesterday.

"I'm really trying to work out where it is I belong. You would think that after 3 years in Bendigo I would have worked it out... I am finding myself run around in the same circles. It's like this malicious cycle where I end up getting incredibly hurt... My heart is so broken. I need some sort of stability!" (my words yesterday)

I think God really laid on my heart what it is that I actually mean by stability. What am I basing my stability on? While it is fantastic to be stable in a church, and it is highly recommended, I do not think that anybody should just quit somewhere stable, God really put it out to me as to how much emphasis I put on "church" rather than God Himself!

Now, I could go on and on about the politics and my beliefs (what many would say are bizarre and out there) about church are, but I think that I will either bore you, or I will start a fight. But when will we stop turning to "the church" and start turning to God?

Why is it I so long to be having this official prayer doosy whats it for Indonesia? When it's not being up the front that's so important. It's the people who are actually praying!

Going back to the lightning. As I finally turned into my street, I pleaded with God, please, just one last flash of lightning? Please oh please oh please oh pleeeease!!!? But there in that, I really felt the Holy Spirit speak, saying it doesn't MATTER if there's no lightning. God is still as real and is as there - no matter what!

another one bites the dust...

So here I was, innocently getting ready for work, when I noticed a small spider. It must have come from the clothes line area of my backyard!

It however is unlike any spider I have ever seen! It looked really tropical. It was about 1cm big, with a fluro green body, and a yellow like sack at the back.

I looked for my camera, but couldn't find it. I can't find it online.

Unfortunately, it was squashed by a tissue, as I didn't want it to dissapear into the rest of my
washing.

Lucky I'm not as scared of spiders as my sister. But now I have the eepedy geepedies that there are spiders all through what I'm wearing.. eek!

Here's a picture I drew of it. Does anyone know what kind of spider it is? Is it dangerous? It had fangs!

Victory in Victoria...

Oh what a way to spend your Friday afternoon. Supervising a bunch of primary students while they bash each other with poles. Then somehow my name is Flick. How you get Flick out of Sammy I don't know. It was fun enough though! But probably lotsa more fun for the kids! Oh preps are so gorgeous when they bash each other! Ahem. Anyway!

I went to a meeting about Indonesia today. It's 23 days (thanks to Steff's groovy blog) until I leave. It's all scary and exciting. So much to do before then: get through exams, try and get some work, my 21st, along with scratching around for more money!

There is quite a bit on my mind really. I'm really trying to work out where it is I belong. You would think that after 3 years in Bendigo I would have worked it out. And while I acknowledge nowhere is perfect, I know that surely, there is a Sammy shaped hole out there somewhere!

I am finding myself run around in the same circles. It's like this malicious cycle where I end up getting incredibly hurt. I can't pin point exactly why though! Perhaps it's my nature of going through phases. I don't know. But I can tell you, I hate being unresilient. If I have a problem, I like to seek to resolve it. But the thing is.. I just don't know the answer to this one! There has to be one! But right now it seems there isn't one! My heart is so broken. I need some sort of stability! I'm so desperate to just cling onto someone who knows what they're doing! I want to kick this 'isolated' feeling!

mergh.

OK.

Let's turn this around...

Because there is hope! And I need to embrace the truth!

I've been reading a book by John Bevere called Victory in the Wilderness. It has given me a lot of hope about what I'm going through.

See, we're all going to go through times like what I'm going through (some similar circumstances, some not). And Jesus himself went through tough times.

Bevere talks about Jesus in the desert. How these 'desert times' are like character building places. We need these to be able to grow. And in the meantime, God doesn't give us "Abundance of stuff", but moreso, what we NEED.

ah It's a great book. Anyone can borrow it after me if they want!

choice

Choices. I don't like choices.

I grew up in a town where the choice "McDonalds or KFC" didn't exist. I lived in a town where the you take the one and only choice or you go without. My lunch was usually planned out for me. Even when choosing whether I go to Murrayville (vic.) or Lameroo (SA) for high school, the decision was already made.

In my last three years at Bendigo, one of the hardest thing was adapting to having a choice. I had a choice of Coles, Safeway or IGA. I could buy home brand or black and gold. I had options of going to places like Ballarat and Melbourne. I had a choice of AOG, Victory, the Baptist, Short Street Church of Christ and more (3 years on I'm still struggling with this choice!). All this choice I had not previously encountered back in Pinnaroo, the one supermarket, three churched hole in South Australia!

But one thing I am thankful for is that I already had made a choice that in Bendigo, it didn't matter what I was studying, it be Arts or Education, I just wanted to do Indonesian. Even though it would have been nice to bludge through Arts, I am somewhat glad that I am in Education, as it is a clear pathway of what I am likely to be doing at the end of next year.

In the last three years, my path has been all set out for me. I sit through the core units, I progress towards an Indonesian major. Re-enrolling at the end of each year was a breeze!

But it is 2007, and I am coming to the end of my third year. Re-enrolling isn't so easy, because I have to make choices. I now have my Indonesian major. One would think that 8 units of Indonesian, plus the LOTE methodology I have to undertake next year would be enough.

But my choices don't look feasable. Info Tech doesn't look as good as it was going to. Art is about ceramics. Everything else is looking pretty.. blah.

So guess what I've gone and done. I've gone and enrolled myself in the Indonesian Reading Course. Like I said, isn't a major enough? Basically, I'm out of options. Nita was incredibly pleased (BTW, Steff, Nita is insistant that you join us ;) ), and showed me the book we will be studying. It is the size of the New Testament and is all in Indonesian.

But then I come to my next dilemma...

Because my methodology is only worth 10 credit points a semester, this leaves me 10 credit points down to actually get my degree. That means I need to pick up just one more subject somewhere.

And then I got an email about a course that's running over summer. It's basically a unit on ICT and Interactive Whiteboard stuff. I might do it during semester if I don't do it over summer.

So I am faced with this choice. Do I really want to do Indonesian next year? Do I do ICT over summer or bulk it over the second semester? Or do I ditch Indo and go my own way (as apposed to going with what my friends are doing and having that accountability/company) doing PE, special abilities, art, catholic ed, calculus or something crazy!

Choices. Bah! Anyone have some advice for me?

Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass. (Psalm 37:4-6)

shine like stars?

I found this quote on the end of someone's MSN name. Sure made me think.

"...Cuz my Jesus would never be accepted in my church; the blood and dirt on his feet may stain the carpet..."

Think about it...

Song of the moment: Shine like Stars by True Worshippers

Look at the world we live today
Look at the hurting everywhere
Let us see mercy and Your grace
Overflowed in every place
Let us be one with You today
And let Your glory fall

We will shine
Shine like stars above
Shining in Your light
Guided by Your love
Let Your fire burn in us
Burning like the sun
As we glorify
And show Your kingdom come
In all the earth

Teach us to live in righteousness
Teach us to love in one accord
Guide us to live life everyday
As we worship in Your court
Let us declare Your majesty
and let your glory fall

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven. (Matt 5:16)

Clouds.. of the nerdy variety

We all know I love clouds, but I have discovered the blogger tag cloud! If you scroll down, Isn't it pretty?

I wonder if those technologically minded people who can be bothered with fiddling around with HTML will have a go at it.

For those of us who aren't as technologically minded, there is this tool here to make something a little more simple.



Song of the moment: Dive by Steven Curtis Chapman

It's almost over!

(Well, MSTIE is over! Yay! Now I just gotta sit through exams and I'm 75% a teacher!)

trains, busses, taxi's, trams and a wedding!

This morning my alarm went off at 6:45. My alarm is pretty cool. It is Cara singing rise and shine, and give God the glory glory..

After snoozing the alarm for 5 minutes, I got up, had a shower, and got ready for a very long day. At about 8am I got in my car and drove my housemate and I down the station. We got on what was a very packed train. Once on the train this horrible feeling of Oh darnit I forgot my camera overcomes me. Dang!

The train only went as far as Sunbury, and after that I had to catch the bus the rest of the way to Southern Cross. Here started the organised chaos. There were well over 100 people trying to fit on busses, and people were running all over the place getting confused! Finally I got on a bus which went straight down the tollway and into spencer street. We made it in record time!

After briefly working out how to get to Doncaster, I waited for Turtle to get off her delayed train from Ballarat. It seems today is a good day for doing work on the train lines. After greeting her we took a sequence of trains and taxis and found ourselves out at Doncaster. Here we met with the wonderful Mel and Bray. Now the funny thing is, I have KNOWN Mel since about 2003, but I only just met her today! And man, it feels like I have known her for ages! I so wish that I could have met her so much sooner!

After lunch, we all went to the wedding together. The wedding was so incredibly beautiful. I was really struggling to fight back the tears. When I look at them I can't help but smile. I think I still couldnt stop smiling after I left Melbourne. In fact I'm still smiling! eeee!

The whole structure of the wedding was really different to anything I've seen before! And it was magnificent and so.. God honouring!

EEE I can't stop smiling! Guys, if you're reading this - :D

After the wedding Mel, Turtle, Bray and I went and hung out down on the beach for a while. But before we went to the beach we were travelling down the Eastern Freeway when Turtle and Mel point out this bus that reads Organ's Coaches Kyneton. In true South Australian tradition I got what was so funny half an hour later.

Turtle was snapping a photo of this bus when the people actually saw her. The people in the bus began to wave at us, and we waved back. This was going on, along with us three girls in hysterical laughter, they began to make faces at us! Finally we made a sign that said "Jesus loves you", but alas they were turning the corner so we dont think they saw it. But that was ok, because then whoever was driving behind us would see that nice little message! :D

After spending a bit of time at the coast, I caught a tram into the city to catch the bus/train back to Sunbury/Bendigo. I arrived into Spencer St, or should I say "Southern Cross" half an hour before my bus headed back to Sunbury. So I went and bought some half price pizza from DFO - potato and rosemary. Interesting!

I sat at the bus depot and ate my pizza as the crowd for Sunbury increased. After finishing my pizza we were informed that there would be a delay of 5 minutes because one of the busses had broken down. People were really angry and were swearing and getting really angry at the staff. I kept myself calm by talking to random people, usually elderly people. 20 minutes later, the bus arrives, and there are people pushing to get on. It reminded me of the day I quit barracking for the Adelaide crows (long story). I suddenly became pushed between people and was getting squished because everybody was so angry and eager to get to Sunbury. As we left the bus depot, we saw a man waving his finger at the staff.

Somewhere between Melbourne and Sunbury I saw the Organs bus again. Very funny stuff!

We got into Sunbury and got I straight on the train. We sat there for a good half hour waiting for another bus to arrive. Finally, at the time we were supposed to arrive in Bendigo, we left Sunbury. As the train pulled out of the station, the whole carraige cheered.

When the conducter came out to collect our tickets, we learnt that we were waiting there for 10 minutes for an invisible bus - ie, it didn't exist!

Everybody was so angry. Perhaps I didn't care because I had all day. But the thing that annoys me the most is when people complain like this, when pathetic places such as South Australia don't have the luxary of a train that leaves every hour to the capital city! In fact, from Pinnaroo, you can't even go for a day trip in Adelaide using public transport.

And with that, dare I say it, I think I'm turning into a Melbourne girl (as opposed to Adelaide). I even think that I'm starting to loose the intentionalised habit of speaking with a toffi accent. I think I'm turning... dare I say it... VICTORIAN!

But all in all, I don't think I really cared about the 'hate' going on at the station. I was too busy smiling still :)

overwhelmed?

So here I am sitting here and finally the reality hits me that there is only one day of this rediculous practicum to go. Part of me is joyous and can't wait until I'm free as of monday afternoon (exams - such a release!), but part of me feels a little sad.

Although I have spent a majority of this prac complaining, and hating every minute, I will actually miss it. It gets to this point of the prac where I begin to evaluate how I've been - I'm not exactly happy.

So after exams, I turn 21 and head over to Indonesia. And suddenly everything becomes overwhelming as I enter into my fourth year. Where have the years gone?

I have a few friends that are actually finishing their university degree this year. Imagine how overwhelmed they must feel.

heavens in the backseat of the cinema

On my recent trip to South Australia, due to conditions mostly out of control, I went and saw a really awful movie. Now when I say an awful movie, I don't mean, like, Neighbours-bad-acting type movie, I actually mean a really, bad, typical extreme american sex-phased movie. I spent a lot of the time looking at the ceiling and asking God to help me get through the movie. I think I spent a lot of time also just praying for the people watching as well.

As we were leaving, I was in the back seat of my friends car. Her and my other friend were in the front saying how awesome they thought this movie was. I kind of just sat with no comment.

As we drove out of the cinema and headed back towards the Eastern Adelaide Suburbs, I couldn't help but notice this trashy 70's song that was on the radio.

"Heaven's in the back seat of my Cadillac, let me take you there - yeah yeah"

Despite knowing the real meaning of this song.. There I was, in the back seat, and all I wanted to do was cry out to the God of heaven!

We are called to be ambassadors of heaven. We are called to pray without ceasing. That means in everything we do, no matter how crazy, we should pray! On earth as it is in where? That's right - HEAVEN! :D

It was such a quirky, exciting, maybe even uplifting part of the whole night!

We, as human beings have choices not to go some places. I could have said, look, I don't want to see this movie, in fact, I probably should have. But when you're in situations - in the 'back seat', don't forget that heaven's with you - and that's powerful!

(eeep I'm getting cheesy!)

Shopping in Sedgwick

Today I went shoe shopping. Some retail therapy was in order. Then, at 5:30, I was booted out of rivers and found that alas all other shops were also closed.

My stomach was telling me that tea should be ready within the next two hours. Because I couldnt be bothered defrosting mince, I went to buy my own.

I was driving home when instead of taking a left, I kept going straight. Straight down Carpenter St, straight down Spring Gully Rd. I didn't know where I was going, I just kept driving. I just wanted to drive drive drive! I think I needed to think think think and pray pray pray too.

Where was I going? I was going shopping in Sedgwick.

However, upon my arrival in Sedgwick, I came to realise that there was not even a shop in Sedgwick to buy mince. There wasn't even one in Mandurang. There was a little general storey-thing but it looked closed.

So I kept driving, bypassing the suburbs, almost hitting an Echidna, to Strathfieldsaye, which is a busy little place. It was there that I bought some Lemon Lime and Bitters, and some mince off a freaky butcher dude.

Sometimes, I guess I just need to drive.. to places that are more isolated even moreso than Pinnaroo...

The conclusion, or the point of this story: there isn't one. I just hope you enjoyed hearing about my afternoon, 'shopping' in Sedgwick!

Countdown...

So today it is exactly a month until I am off my P's again. How exciting it is to be counting down again, and I haven't even broken the law! That will mean I will be a fully licenced Victorian licence holder! And due to the harsh Victorian drivers laws, I should be able to do much more and have more freedom! I'll be able to teach L platers! The question though is, do I WANT to teach them?? :P

Funnily enough, I turn 21 on that same day.

I'm having a bit of trouble though, what should I do for my 21st? At the moment I'm thinking of having it in a park. My dillemma though is which day to have it on, because not every day suits people. Eep!

And in the topic of count downs.. It is one month and 6 days until I fly to Indonesia! I'm so scared and excited all at once! I'm so glad Steff is coming with me :)

[Image from: a Public Domain Image a Day]

a post about prac

Well. For those who don't know I've been on prac for two weeks now. I'm at a school in the same suburb I work with 5/6's, which has prooved to be incredibly interesting. If you know me, I'm more of a lower primary person.

Now this prac is different to most others. The first thing you will notice is I'm doing it incredibly late. The second is you wont see me doing as much outside work for it. The third is I'm doing it with a friend of mine. The fourth, I seem to be only teaching maths and science!

And am I enjoying it? No!

In fact, when the lecturer came out to see us the other day, I yelled at him!

Why don't I like this prac? Well, it's not because I have 5/6. It's moreso the point that next year I will be entering the fourth year of my course. I really need to learn how to be independant, and I can't be, because us student teachers are 'relying' on each other. It's difficult to teach in this way, because we are both two completely different teaching styles.

What's worse, is the kids pick and choose which one they like better. Because I'm not as cool and don't seem to relate as much, I'm not the favorite. But alas I am not there to be their friend, I am there to teach them!

I know that sounds harsh, and I know that the girl I told I didn't care about what she was doing on the weekend would agree (thanks for the 'strategy' Turtle ;)). I've discovered it's really about balance. I'm not there to make their happy lives miserable, but there needs to be a point that 'friendship' is not interrupting class time.

The issue also with working with pairs is, it doesn't matter how much you try to avoid it, someone always ends up doing more work. And unforunately, it seems I havent done a lot. I'm thankful that this prac hasn't ruined my friendship with the person I'm working with.

All in all, the prac is a good idea. You create a unit of work, you teach it. You become more familiar with the science side of things (an ever important topic in schools). Just not at this stage, in third year. I feel like I have taken a step backwards.

Given the circumstances, this could have been a good prac if it was 'normal'.

So to my friends up at La Trobe: What were you thinking?

Dear anonymous

I don't know who you are
For all I know, because of my silly memory, perhaps you're not real.
But if you are, and you read my blog, and you know what this is about..
It really confuses as to why you're so generous.. but thanks. God Bless You :)

(If this makes absolutely no sense to you, then don't worry, it has nothing to do with you probably :P)

little bit o love

This is the way you left me

I'm not pretending
No hope, no love, no glory
No happy ending
This is the way that we love
like it's forever
then live the rest of our life
but not together

Mika - "Happy Ending"

There is a real danger in secular (and sometimes, not-so-secular) music. I believe that people underestimate the power that music can have in ones life. I believe that many christians don't have an understanding that it can open up doors for the enemy to come and rob you of the abundance of life God has planned for you!

Resist the devil and he will flee from you. (James 4:7)

Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. (1 peter 5:8)

Although I know this all too very well, somehow this song kinda represented how I was feeling (don't start assuming because you're probably way off - hence the 'somehow'). The problem with this kind of music is that while it does some how express how you feel, dwelling on this song, singing it, does not help the situation. In fact, it magnifies how bad I'm feeling, rather than magnifying an awesome powerful creator who is above every situation and circumstance no matter what I'm feeling! Because I KNOW that whatever I go through, God is still awesome and alive and real, and no less worthy of my praise!

16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 19 Do not quench the Spirit. 20 Do not despise prophecies. 21 Test all things; hold fast what is good. 22 Abstain from every form of evil. (1 Thess. 5)

So here I am, feeling utterly like rubbish singing this song in my car, by the lake, and it gets to the emotional keychange and it suddenly starts pouring down with rain. At this stage I am fully crying about this whole horrible situation, the heavy rain pitter pattering and the 'intense' part of the song makes it all oh so much more real.

Suddenly, I see the rain ease, and out from my car, I see this:

12 And God said: “This is the sign of the covenant which I make between Me and you, and every living creature that is with you, for perpetual generations: 13 I set My rainbow in the cloud, and it shall be for the sign of the covenant between Me and the earth. 14 It shall be, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the rainbow shall be seen in the cloud; (Genesis 9)

A rainbow!!! You know what that symbolises, right? That God will keep His promises! A timely reminder that God won't leave me stuck in this situation! That my God is a God of power! Sometimes I can't see the result, but He's the Alpha and Omega!

So then, after that, I turned the song into a parody of God and How great He is!

Maybe one day I'll blog about music properly. Maybe...
And maybe, maybe one day, I will blog a parody :P

the key

(You can do it! Education)

Organisation
And you, my child, will be called a prophet of the Most High; for you will go on before the Lord to prepare the way for him (Luke 1:76)

Persistence
Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it (1 Cor. 9:24)

Getting Along
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. (John 13:34)

Confidence
So we may boldly say: “ The LORD is my helper, I will not fear. What can man do to me?” (Hebrews 13:6)

Resilience
But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary in doing good. (2 Thes 3:13)

If one cannot get this right in their own life, how can they encourage students to do the same?

I guess the best part of this is, despite anything,

"You can do it!"

But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth (Acts 1:8)

one for all

I have uninentionally stumbled accross the following verse twice in 24 hours. One would get the feeling God is trying to say something.

Luke 12

54 Then He also said to the multitudes, “Whenever you see a cloud rising out of the west, immediately you say, ‘A shower is coming’; and so it is. 55 And when you see the south wind blow, you say, ‘There will be hot weather’; and there is. 56 Hypocrites! You can discern the face of the sky and of the earth, but how is it you do not discern this time?

This got me thinking. Although there are people who are certainly 'gifted' discerners, it appears that Jesus has commanded everybody to be discerners to an extent. For each of us to use our brains!

It's just like the passage says. We're so quick to judge and work out what is going on in the world, the newest fashion, the breaking news, and it's impact, but we're not discerning what's going on in the church today or kingdom-wise at 'this time'.

Interesting.

bring back, bring back, bring back Georgie to me, TO ME!

A few weeks ago, I was watching my favorite TV show, All Saints (the old series). It was an intense episode of a bomb going off in the hospital.

The episode ended on a total cliff hanger at the end of the week.

What, NO! I can't wait until monday! And plus, I'm going to Pinnaroo! They don't get channel 7, or Prime!

But ever a clever thinker, I set the video player for every day the next week.

After having an All Saints-less week, I came home to Bendigo, to sit down and take some
time out with my friends Terri, Mitch and Von. I pressed play only to find no trace of All Saints! All I could find was some weird science show. Noooooooo! And according to the tv guide, it wasnt coming back any time soon!

After much sadness, I finally got over it. However today, talking with my friend Elizabeth, it turns out that All Saints was just taking a break over the school holidays. Of course!

However, on the flipside to that, I begin a 3 week placement next week, so I will not be home to watch it, but I am ever so happy to have a housemate with a video player!

little outside delights

I have been for a 4.6 km powerwalk, had a creative breakfast, and am currently sitting in the back yard with listening to Life FM with my brand spanking new wireless internet!

I feel so. eee. happy! Content!

It's true, walking is good for the soul, and all of that vitamin D mustve done me good!
:D

I could stay like this all day, but alas, MSTIE awaits!

warning signs

Today I witnessed somebody talking about depression like they realy knew what they were on about, almost like they were diagnosing the person to not have it - like they were making it up.

This really made me angry. Depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues arent a joke. Just like typhoid fever, they are a sickness. Like when we get sick with anything, we need to take appropriate measures to get better. Sometimes these measures seem extreme, sometimes they don't. But nonetheless, if these things are left untreated, the symptoms can get worse, and can lead to some very unpleasant experiences.

I don't care if you suspect your friend is faking it, it's a real and an issue that needs to be dealt with. There is help from trained professionals. If you're not a doctor then don't diagnose! Rather than talk about them "faking it" behind their back, support them and do something about it!

I dont know about the greater Bendigo population, but here in Pinnaroo, I constantly hear this behind-the-back carry on of "such and such thinks they have depression but they're just faking it to get attention".

And to the "just pray about it" response: Prayer is a great thing, but faith without works is dead. God gave us a brain, we need to take action and do something! Even though medication often seems extreme, I've seen it save peoples lives. Like I said, these things (when are ongoing) are sicknesses, and they need to be dealt with. If you were diagnosed tomorrow with Leukemia, would you refuse the treatment?

Does anyone get what I'm on about? Does anyone see the cry of my heart that christians are fed this lie that if they are suffering an illness to the point of medication or consultation, that they lack faith, or become a second class christian? Anyone!?

Stop speaking lies over people and start declaring the truth!

the list

I found an interesting list when I was looking for a notebook this morning. It was written probably in 2001, when I would have been in year 9, when "career advice" is being fed down your throat.

"Careers"
Flight attendant
pilot
female priest
park ranger youth worker/councilor
photographer
website designer
worker for World Vision in East Timor
Carer
Air Force
Cartoonist/Animator
Horticulturalist
Assistant Nurse
Accountant
Own my own airline: "Sammy Airways"
Army
Chiropractor
Post Office worker
writer
a DJ
Tour Guide

Does anyone else find it interesting that with all this diversity of jobs, teacher was not on the list? One thing I guess is important to note was this list would have been made before I went to Indonesia.

Something else that struck me (I assume I did this in 2004 - year 12) is that I crossed out everything and wrote "whatever God wants me to do!"

Now this strikes me with a question: How much control do we really have over our career choice? I believe that while we are quite capable of making our choices (whether they be good or bad according to the driving motivation) God opens and closes doors of opportunities.

Thinking about my career so far, I watched God open doors I thought would be padlocked. He allowed me to move all the way to Bendigo, and get me into a course my enter simply didn't 'benchmark'. Then the opportunity to go to Indonesia came up. Wow. How did that happen?

When we commit our ways to God, He will "make the path straight". That is an actual surrendering of our lives and our ambitions. The thing with straight paths though, as simple as that sounds, once you get past the surrender, and have the straight path, there are still distractions, there can still be things in front of you that you need to face! But aha, never fear, God is here! (and so come forth the cheesiness)

The other day I went for a walk. It's like my house mate continuously tells me, "walking is good for the soul". I was in a bit of a dilemma. I had to make a choice about the Indonesia trip really fast. There were voices all around me, some concerned for me telling me to stay, some eagerly pulling me by my shirt pleading with me to come.

As I walked on that sunny day down Sommerville St, praying about this matter, I felt God placing on my heart something that happened when I went in 2002.

Last time I went, I didn't really want to go. But while I was over there, I was absolutely heartbroken with the poverty and crazy things I saw. I was hurting for a hurting nation.

While I was walking, I felt God kind of talking to me about the orphanage. (I was actually unsure at the time whether we were actually going to an orphanage or not. Later clarification with Steff assured me that, yes, we are going to an orphanage.) I felt like God was really just like, "I hate to break it to you, but this is gonna break your heart."

Often God can use heartbreak as a motivating force to change our world. This motivating heartbreak I felt back in 2002 will be renewed when I go Indonesia. Just seeing the way these people live, you think, "how am I so darn lucky?" It's a bit like this I suppose. It's exciting, but it's also very scary. (I want to be heartbroken and motivated over my homework hehe)

Indonesia isn't the only thing I have heartbreak for. I have a massive ache for the children in this country (well, ok, even the world) and the things they go through. The things I experience on pracs is often a driving force to do something big in my community!

Back on track (pardon the pun), straight may not always mean logical. Straight may cost you something. Straight often seems crooked (but just remember who has the Perception). Life isn't just a highway you can ride all night long, as Mr. Tom Petty says. Jesus said go through the Narrow gate.. Why would you go through a narrow gate when it seems logical to keep following through on the freeway?

Quite honestly, I think it's still early days in my 'career'.

Seek out God's Will, it's beyond your wildest dreams!

turn back time

After Sammy got lost in White Hills (honestly, how hard is it to just follow a darn tram line?) she finally wades her way through 3 suburbs to the Calder Highway, that leads her home.

Thanks to the nice lady at the Charlton roadhouse for shouting me a coffee, and some very uplifting music, Sammy perseveres a long 5 hours, makes it toward the finish line with a count down,

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WELCOME TO SOUTH AUSTRALIA!"

Pushing through the fruit fly inspection point, delighted by the sight of many Stobie Poles, she crosses into the town named after limestone, more commonly known as Pinnaroo.

She then enjoys a welcome home feast of fruchocs and fritz, with a nice serving of Farmers Union Iced Coffee.*

(* - Mum didnt have any fruchocs, nor did she have fritz, not even a Farmers Union. So we had kids4life fundraising chocolate and a sweet chilli stir fry, along with Angrusta Lemon Lime and Bitters)

I got the power!

Spatch... You're going down!

(Who woulda thought.. a Port and Geelong grand final.. I almost feel sorry for you)

anybody out there..?

What's with this!?

I am so anxious to go home. Today I delayed my travel home by one more day. I initially was going to leave yesterday afternoon. I am now not leaving until sunday morning.

Why is it that I don't want to go home? Why is it that Bendigo means so much - that if I go away for a week something big is going to happen and I'll miss it? Why dont I want to just go home, far far away, especially when I am spending every waking moment here in Bendigo wanting to get out?

And November - how will I survive then..?

What am I - Let's face it - I'm nor Victorian nor South Australian.. Where do I belong, exactly?

Gah, I hate insecurity!

another shade of blue

After a hard day of uni, I decided to come home and paint a canvas blue in recognition of how I was feeling.

For those who know art, in Picasso's life, he went through many different phases. He went through a Rose Period, where he was in love and everything was utterly wonderful for him. But with that came a Blue Period, after the suicide of a close friend. His artwork during these times depicts his feelings.

Everybody goes through good and bad phases. Sometimes these last for an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year, sometimes even years!

Almost like Picasso, David went through a lot of different things in the bible. You can read about it in Psalms. However, there was a big noticable difference between David and Picasso. Even when David felt like utter rubbish, he still looked to God. Even when he felt abandoned, he cried out, "God, where are you!?"

Back to my painting, as I was painting this canvas blue, I was thinking about what I could paint. What is one of my most favorite things? Clouds!

Hang on, the sky is blue, and I like the sky. I love clouds! Now how does that work for a 'blue period'..? Because they make me so happy!

So blue isn't a bad colour after all!

puisi

For my next Indonesian assignment, I have been asked to write a poem.

Last year I wrote this poem:

Here I am.

I am lying.

Alone.

Wounded.

Bleeding.

This pain I cannot take.

I try to walk.

I stumble.

I fall to the ground.

I burst into tears.

The tears soak me.

Soak the ground on which I sit.

It was then that I looked up, and saw Him.

I looked into His eyes – and I knew.

I knew He understood.

He understood every emotion and pain.

Tears filled His eyes with compassion as He looked into mine.

His body – marred with scars.

His two hands and feet restricted to the nails on the cross.

Who is this man?

This man,

with such a pained,

yet,

compassionate

look in His face

for me?

At that moment He cries out into the heavens

…and dies.

Despair and loss fills my heart.

I long to see that look in His eyes once more.

But it is finished.

And only now do I realise…

MY SINS PUT HIM THERE

The pain this man was going through was MY pain.

He understood.

I run my hands along the cross that this man was crucified on.

I cry.

For I know it is finished.

Blood stained rain falls from the heavens.

I am washed clean of everything in my life.

My hand - still on the empty cross.

I weep tears of Joy.

For I know…

He is coming back for me!

Ok, a little dramatic, but it has copy and pasted like that.

My question is, am I game enough to translate that as my assignment :P

Does anyone else have random urges.. Like to climb a poppet head?

I like living in Bendigo, there are many poppet heads to satisfy my urges. (And some nice scenery up there when I reach the top! :D)

Professionalism

"I expect professionalism."

It's a phrase I often hear one of my science lecturers say. Usually it is because of the boys playing up up the back of the lecture theatre. It's fair enough he saying it, as it often seems that these people cant leave their year 9 musings behind them.

The lecturer then goes into a five minute schpeel about how we're teachers, and we're educating tomorrows adults. So passionate about this issue, he even brought in some research that teachers are in the top ten of most trusted 'professionals'.

... Would you trust me?

But then, according to the Adelaide Advertiser, teaching wasn't even on the 'top ten' list. Doctors being the most trusted.

Today I would like to talk to you about my experience at the doctors yesterday.

I couldnt even watch my favorite show, All Saints, at 3pm, as I sat there trembling at the thought of getting a typhoid injection. The thought of the possibility it not being the right one, that it hadn't spent enough time in the fridge, that I would react. All of these crazy possibilities.

Mez came and got me, and practically dragged me out of the house kicking and screaming.

We sat in the waiting room for a good half hour, Mez asking me all about my trip as she tried to ease my mind about the injection and the abusive type people who just entered the waiting room.

Finally when it was my turn, the doctor came and got me, we sat in his office, he asked questions, and then he led us to a room where the nurse was waiting for me. This is ultimately where I paniked.

The nurse then accused me of acting like a 2 year old. After the injection I felt queezy, lied on the bed and cried. I didnt know what was going on but I felt incredibly strange and scared! The nurse just left, the doctor came in, and put a peice of paper on my stomach, and walked away.

I felt so very uncared for (apart from Mez being there, asking me more random questions to ease my mind). Honestly, the second word of this clinic was 'care', but seriously it didn't feel like it. Oh how I regretted doing this! I knew I should have just waited to see Dr. Chan. He'd make sure I'm fine! He may be that little bit nuts, but he's a good nut.

After a few hours, I realised that although I acted like a complete child being scared of the needle, that nurse really shouldn't have said that. Like, I can get over it, but what about the people who have anxiety conditions? Isn't that a little... (dare I say it) unprofessional?

I almost called them to make a 'complaint'. Although Jesus did command us to turn the other cheek, He also told us we should tell people when they are in the wrong (learnt that one the hard way from Lara).

So today, I have one arm and one foot (after tearing a tissue). I can't drive Roy (without almost having an accident) which sucks, because I need to rely on people to drive me places.

So there's the story of my life!

getting a cold trying to find a doctor

"although I walk through the Valley of Death, I will fear no needle!"

- Joy

Today is the day watching All Saints is just 'too much'.

I have recently spent $109 dollars on a typhoid vaccine which will hopefully not make me as sick as last time I had it.

Everybody believes Bendigo is in a GP crisis. It takes about a week to get into my doctor (which is pretty good for Bendigo!), and I spent 6 hours in the Emergancy Department on the weekend. All I want is a simple injection, that basically I want over!

After being on two waiting lists yesterday, and not getting a call for either, I decided this morning to wake up at 6:30 am, and by 7 be sitting outside of primary care (after going for a coffee at maccas) and sitting there until the open at 8am. It's a very interesting place at that time of morning. Probably wouldnt want to be there alone after dark!

To pass the time, sitting on a pillow on the cement footpath, I took some pictures. At 7:30, (note, why was I there since 7am!?) more people came to queue up, so I decided to stop being a fool and put my camera away.

I noticed that while about the 5 of us stood there in silence, we all had the one eager thing on our mind: as soon as the door opened, get in and get an appointment.

It was also obvious that we all were thinking the same thing: Bendigo needs more doctors.