hatiku percaya

(title is Indonesian for "my heart believes")

Over the course of the mission in Bendigo, I was constantly reminded about my desire to be a missionary in Indonesia.

Things were really confirmed for me on Sunday at church when my friend Zoe told me that she was serious about coming with me. She said that we probably couldn't do it this year, and I don't think that God is really calling me there yet, but I think that when He does, it may happen all very quickly. I have no time frame at the moment, but I know God does. Yagh! It freaks me out that there is a possibility that this is probably what God has in store for me, yet it is all exciting at the same time...

Before mission, I didn't want to go. I didn't want the stress, I didn't want to be tired, I didn't think I could do it, and I didn't think I could handle the heat... How ironic, hey? God put that all back to me and said that if I couldn't handle these things here in Bendigo, how on earth would I survive over in Indonesia?

For those who don't know.. I have actually been there before. I went back in 2002 with my school to places now you could only dream of going to (due to the danger). There was so much poverty. I grew up so much. I remember sitting on a bus, going through the city of Yogyakarta (yeah, no exotic trip to Bali), and watching all of the native Indonesians go about their business, and I thought to myself that God has made them, just like He has made me.. But nobody here knows Him. It broke my heart. My heart is absolutely broken for this country.

When I came back to Australia, my friend Kylie described me as a 'fly buzzing around in a jar'. I felt so depressed, and heartbroken about this country, about how they could not see the light of God..

For those who are statistically minded or want to know, Indonesia is made up of: Muslim 88%, Protestant 5%, Roman Catholic 3%, Hindu 2%, Buddhist 1%, other 1% (1998)

... Is this hope?

(youtube video)



The words to this song are
TUHANLAH KEKUATAN DAN MAZMURKU
DIA GUNUNG BATU DAN KES'LAMATANKU
HANYA PADA-MU HATIKU PERCAYA
KAULAH MENARA DAN KOTA PERLINDUNGAN

REFF :
KU MAU S'LALU BERSYUKUR
S'BAB CINTA-MU PADAKU
TAK KAN PERNAH BERUBAH
HATIKU PERCAYA

WALAU BUMI BERGUNCANG
GUNUNG-GUNUNG BERANJAK
NAMUN KASIH SETIA-MU
TAK PERGI DARIKU

I dare you to try and sing along! And for those who are not Steff (I expect you Steff to know all this... says the girl whose about to get their dictionary to translate this), the rough translation of this is:

God who is strong and my song
He is a strong mountain and my happiness
Only unto You my heart believes
You are a tower and a city of protection

I always want to thank God
Because my love is in You
It cannot be erased
My heart Believes

Even though the land may shake
Mountains move
Your love is always there
It won't leave from me

Does this look like an Indonesian Hillsong to anybody else? Me being against 'shiny christianity', this concerns me for some reason.. I'm guessing these guys would be in the city of Jakarta, but this isn't what Christianity is about? Worshipping God, yes, but it is really hard to imagine it is in Indonesia? After what I saw when I was there?

Bizarre...