Victory in Victoria...

Oh what a way to spend your Friday afternoon. Supervising a bunch of primary students while they bash each other with poles. Then somehow my name is Flick. How you get Flick out of Sammy I don't know. It was fun enough though! But probably lotsa more fun for the kids! Oh preps are so gorgeous when they bash each other! Ahem. Anyway!

I went to a meeting about Indonesia today. It's 23 days (thanks to Steff's groovy blog) until I leave. It's all scary and exciting. So much to do before then: get through exams, try and get some work, my 21st, along with scratching around for more money!

There is quite a bit on my mind really. I'm really trying to work out where it is I belong. You would think that after 3 years in Bendigo I would have worked it out. And while I acknowledge nowhere is perfect, I know that surely, there is a Sammy shaped hole out there somewhere!

I am finding myself run around in the same circles. It's like this malicious cycle where I end up getting incredibly hurt. I can't pin point exactly why though! Perhaps it's my nature of going through phases. I don't know. But I can tell you, I hate being unresilient. If I have a problem, I like to seek to resolve it. But the thing is.. I just don't know the answer to this one! There has to be one! But right now it seems there isn't one! My heart is so broken. I need some sort of stability! I'm so desperate to just cling onto someone who knows what they're doing! I want to kick this 'isolated' feeling!

mergh.

OK.

Let's turn this around...

Because there is hope! And I need to embrace the truth!

I've been reading a book by John Bevere called Victory in the Wilderness. It has given me a lot of hope about what I'm going through.

See, we're all going to go through times like what I'm going through (some similar circumstances, some not). And Jesus himself went through tough times.

Bevere talks about Jesus in the desert. How these 'desert times' are like character building places. We need these to be able to grow. And in the meantime, God doesn't give us "Abundance of stuff", but moreso, what we NEED.

ah It's a great book. Anyone can borrow it after me if they want!

Countdown...

So today it is exactly a month until I am off my P's again. How exciting it is to be counting down again, and I haven't even broken the law! That will mean I will be a fully licenced Victorian licence holder! And due to the harsh Victorian drivers laws, I should be able to do much more and have more freedom! I'll be able to teach L platers! The question though is, do I WANT to teach them?? :P

Funnily enough, I turn 21 on that same day.

I'm having a bit of trouble though, what should I do for my 21st? At the moment I'm thinking of having it in a park. My dillemma though is which day to have it on, because not every day suits people. Eep!

And in the topic of count downs.. It is one month and 6 days until I fly to Indonesia! I'm so scared and excited all at once! I'm so glad Steff is coming with me :)

[Image from: a Public Domain Image a Day]

stabilo

We have an interesting maths class this semester.

I can't say it is the highlight of my week. We often get hand outs we don't use. My friend Steff can often be found colouring in a pattern on one of these odd handouts every monday before the lecture starts. If you're lucky, she'll also continue this throughout the week.

A quote from the girl herself, "it's the highlight of my week!"

*bada boom ching!!*

But as far as 'highlights' go, earlier this week, I did something very exciting. I walked into the travel agent, and put a deposit in on my airfare to Indonesia!

And as far as my travel buddy Steff goes, you can check out about what we're doing and where we're going here.

Yes, after a lot of question about my suitability to travel, I finally decided (along with persuasion from my parents) and declared that I am, on November 27, getting on that plane and going to Sulawesi! This is one of my biggest dreams, and quite honestly, when I came to this campus in 2005, I honestly hoped that an opportunity like this would come up.

God is a God beyond our wildest dreams. This is quite likely only the beginning of what he has in store for me.

So from here on, it is the process of fund raising for the trip, getting my act together, having some immunisations and what not.

Sometimes I'm just sitting there and will just randomly giggle, jiggle, or tap my fingers on the table in excitement! Can you tell, I'm super excited! eeeeeeeee!

No longer from the festy state

Spatch: "Is anyone here a fully licenced driver?"
Me: "ooh! Yes I am!"
Spatch: "Fantastic! Good..."
Me: "Umm.. But one thing, I'm under 21, is that a problem?"
Spatch: *looks confused*
Steff: "It's not as stupid as it sounds!!!"

Today's adventures found me at the Vicroads office, surrendering myself to become, dare I say it, Victorian!

Yep, poor old Roy now is driving around with a plate that says "Victoria, The Place to be". What rubbish! I was going to get 'pop plates' and get Roy as my number plate, but it would cost over $300... No thanks. That almost would register Roy for a year! I had to get the plates off myself. Lucky I thought ahead and brought screwdrivers. I felt so, like, manly, or something. It took me ages, but I felt a great sense of self satisfaction once I had!

Roy also has something new attatched to him. Yes, that's right. P plates (thankyou Hamish!).

Most people are excited when they get their P's. I've already had them. But there's not too much of a problem, because Victorian P platers can drive faster than SA P platers, and because I don't drink, it won't really bother me. I just liked the claim of having a full licence when I was under 21. But, alas, you cannot be under 21 and be a Victorian fully licenced driver. I should be thankful that the day I turn 21 I get a full licence again, most victorian P platers don't have that.

But sigh, it's not as cool as people pointing out my car in the car park cos it has the SA plates. People can't wonder why I'm fully licenced anymore. Bring on November!!!

The good thing about all of this, My licence is free until March next year (when it expires in SA), as with my RAA, well, now RACV insurance. Also, the money I have just spent will be reimbursed by Transport SA :D Thank God that He provides!

5 things I 'dig' about Jesus

I have been tagged by Susan to write 5 things I 'dig' about Jesus. I think it's going to be hard just to choose 5 (see John 21:25).

OK, here it goes..

1. I love that my walk with Jesus is completely personal, it is mine, I am unique and nobody can take it away. It's like when you get this revelation, and you're incredibly excited, and then nobody cares, but you just know it is God, and that he has inspired you, and just you, are incredibly inspired.. you know? No, I'm not making sense am I..

2. He is so jentle, kind, but so powerful and strong! He can calm the raging seas, and the sound of His name is just incredibly powerful!

3. Although I constantly find myself not fitting in, I know that because of Jesus I want to stand out!

4. That it's not by my might, or by my strength, but His spirit moving in my life.

5. His banner over me is love, His love. His LOVE! How can you ever uproot that!!!


And now, I tag Spatch and Bec (She likes these taggy things, or just keeps getting tagged!)
***

In other news I have got 3 new fish and a snail. There's a fish with spots (Burkie), a gold fish (Beth) and one with an orange shell (turtle).. Plus my snail, who is black (Steff)

The adventures of Steff, Sammy and Australia Post

This evening Steff and I decided to go on an adventure to the post office down on the corner. Well, it was actually a compulsary trip: my mum needing her jacket, and I needing to post it before 6, Steff coming along for this adventure.

We got the forms all signed, postage paid for, and the lady told us to go and put it in the post box outside (it being rather large), and to stuff it in.

So it is pouring down with rain (we've had 20mm since 9am), and I am outside trying to stuff a rather large parcel into a small hole. I thought I had success, and then, try to close the hatch, and it wont go down, and I can't get it back out! How embarrasing!

Went and got the lady, and told her it was stuck, and we left (after making a run for the car in the freezing cold rain!) when she was trying to fix it!

Just hope mum gets her jacket!

celupan

I was cleaning the house today, and while cleaning. I unfortunately did not find my La Trobe student teacher badge. I did, however find some hair dye. 3 lots, which would be enough to dye my hair (as my hair is long and thick).

The catch is, they were not all the same colour:

My mum is coming to visit today, so I thought I'd give her a bit of a shock. And I also thought it would be fun to do an experiment.

Here are the three colours out of the packet:
And here are the three colours mixed together:

Here's a 'before' shot:

...and here's an 'after' shot:

What do you think? I think I could have done better. I'm glad I can hide under my new hat. Maybe I'll go another colour soon. Something outrageous, like black or purple.

Last time I dyed my hair was back in December with Steff. We used an 8 wash dye, and it still hadn't come out! Next time Steff and I are going raven red! (Aren't we Steff? Aren't we!)

sangat miskin

This is what toilets look like in Indonesia. Speaking of toilets look at this!

Anyway, it is monday, and I was back at school, and very happy. Millions of voiced around me screaming "Miss Smedley! Miss Smedley! I need your help! MISS SMEDLEY!"

I didnt get to have lunch today, which really sucked. My cheap lunch from Not Quite Right was definately not quite right. It turned out to be out of date from March: I brought it last week! I wasn't up for making myself any sicker so I binned it. Too bad I didn't have breakfast (break the fast. It's a compound word. agh! I'm turning into a teacher!), and my recess consisted of a small bag of vege chips. Oh well, luckily I had a green tea bag in my bag. MMmm. Nice.

On that note, it sucks being broke. It equally sucks when you spend half an hour getting groceries you can't pay for because you dont have enough money in your account. It's ok. God provides. It was just frustrating, and a bit of a fright. One of those things I never thought would happen to me. But I think it taught me an important lesson of not to shop at coles. The whole time I was there I couldn't stop thinking about how expensive and how much variety it lacks.

In other news: Port Adelaide are on top of the ladder. That makes 5 people in the city of Bendigo very happy.

Today in the staff room they were saying about how gastro is going around. Please pray I don't get it!

The weekend: I spent it sleeping, coughing, cleaning, planning, churching, and chilling with Mez.

My fish is killing itself with stupidity, just like its late wife. The tank is looking in need of a clean. I'm going to get a pet snail, and call it Steff. Steff the snail. It's a good break from me being the snail, or a sea gull. grr.

Anyway, enough procrastinating, the world isn't going to change with me sitting here blogging (... or is it?)

peace out

tempat lahir

Last night I went to my beautiful friend Steff's 21st. Stoz made her the best video, and there was also a slide show of embarrasing photos that I dared not put up here.

It was bizarre though. It feels like Steff is a long lost friend. It feels like I've known her for longer than I actually have. Watching Stoz's video and the photos of Steff's last 21 years, at times where I didn't exist in her life, before she knew me.

And then I got thinking about my own 21st, which isn't until november. I was thinking about my photos I would have, with a majority of the people in them would no longer be a really big part of my life. I don't seem to have a lot of life long friends.

Part of me feels like I've lived in Bendigo my whole life. Or even like I havent really been that far away this whole time. It feels like I've just grown up in Castlemaine or something. In an actual fact, my 'ascendants' have come from places like Kyneton and Woodend, so I kind of originate from this area.

Something about this place, just feels like home. And even when I do go back to South Australia, it feels like something's missing. I go back and not too many people care that I'm there, most ask me how Adelaide is going. When I tell them that I don't live in Adelaide they say, "oh yes, that's right, sorry, how is Ballarat treating you?" agh! Moreso to the point that I'm not as South Australian as I come across.

The party was retro! I loved it! One thing that worried me though, and I couldn't help but notice: there seemed to be two distinct groups: the christians from church, and the uni non christian group. Now this is all fine and normal, but should I be concerned that I seemed to be in the uni group?

Anyway, that's what's on my mind, John Laws.

dua-puluh-satu

Ok, so I have this reeeally embarrasing photo, ok, a few, of my good friend Steffanie. But I know that if I upload them here she will throttle me.

Today it is Steff's 21st birthday. I just wanted to acknowledge that on my blog, because she is by far one of my closest friends.

It all started in late february 2005, a warm sunny day where I got a blood nose. The first day of the rest of my life. The first day of university. I was standing in a group of people, on the second floor of the education building. In this group contained a few 'popular people', people who seemed to know each other, I had come to Bendigo knowing one person in the whole city. There was a guy there who was seemingly outgoing, and introduced himself as Bluey. There were two other quieter girls, their names being Steff and Tegan. From around the corner was the first time I saw Nita, she rushed past us, we acknowledged that we were her new Indonesian class, and she rushed off again. Everyone smiled at the little Indonesian lady, and everyone noted that she was so cute. I remember this day like it was yesterday. We all entered EDU22.5 and there was our first Indonesian class.

There was something about Steff I couldn't shake off. She seemed like a really nice girl, very quiet, very clever, a quiet achiever, but there was just something about her that made me want to know her more. (this is starting to sound like a love story!)

One of my classes was called "Intro to teaching" with Wilf Savage. On my first tute I realised that there was someone I knew in there, that girl, agh, can't remember her name. But she does Indonesian with me! So I sit next to her, this loud outgoing indigenous lady who goes by the name of Kerri, and another girl called Annette. We decide to work together on our tute presentation for the subject, a free choice, which ends up being about safety.

I remember our first meeting for the subject so clearly. Kerri and Annette got talking about something else, and I was just sitting there with my new friend "Steph". She was eating a sandwhich, and I had brought something from the canteen. She casually asks me, "So.. are you involved with Christian Union?"

Lights went on. I knew it, this girl is a christian! That feeling I couldn't knock, this is it! I said that I was, and that (at the time) I was going to Victory. "oh, they always send new christians in town to Victory!" she told me.

One day Indonesian became unbarable. I was terribly homesick and the grammar became too much and I couldn't hide it. It was back when we had classes at 7:30pm. I rushed to the toilet to try and get myself together, and who would follow me but Steff. I confessed to her that I was so homesick, stressed, and just not understanding the grammar. I remember the concerned look in her eyes.

The second semester of my first year came up quickly. Steff was in my inclusive ed tute with Cherry Rattue. Here started my hanging out in the SU, meeting new people, and forming "the latest phase" friendship group.

Time went on and it was time for me to move back to Pinnaroo for summer. I didn't want to but mum needed my help. It was the craziest 3 months of my life. I kept in contact with Steff, thanks to the beautiful creation called MSN. It's funny the conversations that you can get into on MSN, its like you can get to know someone on a different level.

I was so happy to move back to Bendigo. Steff invited me to her youth group. The first time we went we went to Eaglehawk. She came and got me from the terraces. I stood in the carpark waiting for her, and I knew exactly when it was her, because the volvo was coming up the road at about 20kmph.

I kept a few of my MSN conversations with Steff. I have numerous "Steffs PE advice" (wanna borrow it?) and "Steffs advice about this" and "Steff's advice about that" files throughout my computer. One of them I read with utter frustration the other day about how Steff was so willing to help me, but I held back and became such a neusience!

Over my first prac for second year, I discovered Dragostea Din Tei. Oh dear. Oh yes. THAT song. It was repeated over and over and OVER again, and we know each word to the romanian song. With that came many phases, the blitz phase was one of them. Retro another.

One day I remember waking up at 6am in an utter panic, coming to my 8am class in tears. I told Steff my deepest darkest secrets, and she didn't judge me. She was extremely supportive, and has been ever since. We stayed up until 3am on MSN once with me telling another one of my most secretive secrets. Steff probably knows me the best closest to God. She helped me get back on track, and challenged me in my walk with God. She has been such a strong influence in my life, and I look up to her.

We were once driving along in the Volvo, when she said to me, "hey, you know, it's funny I turned out like this when I lived in Kangaroo Flat." I said, "yeah, you didn't stab anyone or anything, but for all I know, you could have taken someone out into the bush and killed them." Her voice changed and she said to me "where do you think we're going now?"

Yes, I am a dag, but I'm Steff's dag. I may be a dag, but Steff is a fiss. Maybe it's just a South Australian thing ;) Maybe it's because I've been diagnosed with a fatal condition, and I am dying. My remaining lifespan could be a mere 70-80 years. The condition longevitis infectus fericirea et-al (LIFE) But it's ok, all of the worlds most successful people have also been diagnosed with this condition.

But I think that it was meant to be that Steff and I would stumble across each other at this time in our lives. Because the 6km distance from Steff's house to the Bendigo CBD does indeed correlate with the 6km distance from my home town to the SA/VIC border. It is simply the cosmos' way of informing us that we should be sisters, and in fact, were it not so, the very universe as we know it would spiral off into chaos.

Steff and I have a secret language too. Obeng. Sembarang.

The other day, I was innocently sitting next to Steff in a lecture theatre, holding my broken lunch box. Steff turns to me, and says, "I have the sudden urge to piff that across the room". I hand it to her, expecting her not to do it, and she throws it down the front of the lecture theatre.

So here comes the third year. And I'm happy Steffs still around.

I just wanted you to know Steff that you are indeed a very special person in my life (is-tem-e-wa!), and what a better day to let you know than your 21st! May you always know how great a part of my life you are, and that I wouldn't trade anything in the world to be your friend.

May God bless you and keep you today and always!

*hands book* Steffanie Cutmore, this is your life! *and the crowd goes wild*

This is my tribute for you:

keguruan

It's funny, God's ways are not our ways. It's funny that its when I'm not longing or expecting an experience of God, it happens. Perhaps that reflects my motives in what I expect or want out of my relationship with God.

It's like this funny thing that happened to me today.

I didn't have a good night last night. I foolishly stayed up until 12:20, meaning today has been a very rough day. I hit the snooze button three times, and ended up driving to uni (bad!). I very lethargically made it up to my 9am Indonesian class. Got into the elevator and complained to God that I wanted to go home, and I felt like God was reminding me of Colossians 3:23.

"Do what I've called you to do."

So in my expectance, an innocent conversation in Indonesian springs up about the life of the Balinese, which eventually goes into the concept of their religion: Hinduism. The unexpected was where it would lead.

We were talking about the concept of the trimurti, which is kind of like a trinity. There are three Gods: Siwa (destroyer), Wisnu (protector), and Brahmana (creator). Then we got on to the Christian concept of the trinity - father, son and holy spirit, comparing and contrasting.

Now this conversation took up a majority of the lesson, and I could feel this unexplainable feeling inside of me, like I never wanted this conversation to end. I didn't know this for sure, but now I do, after two and a half years: it turns out that my Indonesian lecturer (who is from Yogyakarta in Indonesia) is indeed a christian, and has been before she came to Australia. Immediately I grabbed my dictionary, looked up some vocab and asked her about persecution in Indonesia. Unfortunately, it is just as real as I'd heard. Riots between them and muslims, burning of churches. She said it was quite scary.

Some joked that perhaps she was trying to convert us. She spoke so openly and freely. She told us about how she thought that God is such a beautiful concept. She wrote in big letters "KASIH" which means love, saying that it is the most important thing, and that God is love. The whole time I just wanted to give her a hug. I wanted to tell her the real reason I was in, and have been in her Indonesian class for two and a half years now. I wanted to tell her what I was all about! I want to invite her out for a coffee and tell her everything!

After class I couldn't help myself. I wanted to make myself known. I asked her where she went to church. She made must have made a connection out of my interest in the topic and asked me the same.

But yeah, here's hoping I can talk to her again!

mau pulaaaang!!!

A quote absolutely nothing to do with this blog post:

"Steff, Sammy, block your ears, you're good little Christian girls and won't want to hear this." - My friend Kerri.

Be in the world but not of it?

Last night I had the best dream. I was doing my prac in Pinnaroo, and it was with the grade I wanted, and I was doing a really good job.

I woke up at 6, the aim was to get on top of some homework. Went to bed at 9:30, but was pretty insomnic.

I have been really home sick lately. I only got one week off, and I stayed in Bendigo. I really want to go and see my dog (Trav you'd like him. I hate dogs but he's a big old gorgeous lab), and my mum. Spend some time out in the abundant green open spaces. Refresh myself with some time away from Bendigo.

And then it hit me, I could go home and do my prac there in two weeks time.

My idea was to go to the prac office that day and tell them that I wanted to go to Pinnaroo or Murrayville. There's such a demand for prac places in Bendigo, I thought that they'd love me. And besides, last time I checked, I was still unconfirmed for my school.

Going home had its down sides though. I know God wants me in Bendigo. I know that there's stuff he is wanting me to do and be involved in. I'd also miss my best friends 21st, which almost made me cry at the thought of that.

So I knew I needed to pray about this. I prayed that if I was still unconfirmed when I got to uni, I would go to the prac office and tell them my idea.

I called my mum, got the phone numbers, discovered South Australia are still on school holidays. Walked to uni listening to compliments of gus, my first ever christian CD! Oh the memories of the young and wild days! (Anyone remember when you could download their music for free on gush??)

Got to uni and after 15 minutes of waiting we realised class had been cancelled. So what was supposed to be a 9am start turned into an 11am start - I could have slept in! With this I headed for the education building to discover my faith - 3 weeks in Bendigo or Pinnaroo?

I took a deep breath as I opened the education door, scanned the list of 190 students, to find that my name, was in fact, highlighted. My place in the small school on the outscurts of Bendigo, had indeed been confirmed overnight. I ripped up the peice of paper for Pinnaroo, and went and informed my friends of my fate.

So that's a nice little story for you. As for going home, at this stage I plan to go home during swot-vac. If they plan an Indonesian catch up day, I'm not going!

joining the frog club..

In the last few weeks, my friend Spatch blogged about 'Why I am a frog'.

I love Spatch, and Steff a great deal. They are two of my closest friends. But I don't want to be like them this much!

I usually love the winter. One of my motives for moving to Bendigo was for the colder climate. But this year I am finding myself to be continuouslly cold, and it's only April! That said I do love winter over summer any day.

I'm trying to work out why I'm so cold. My housemate (Melbourne girl) is always telling me I'm mad because I'm so cold when she runs around in a t-shirt and shorts. Maybe I've climatised to Bendigo weather, but wouldn't that mean I'd be ok with this weather? I know that to a degree that I have - the air in Pinnaroo is so dry my skin dries out! My only other self-diagnosis is that I am iron-deficient, or that I have lost weight and therefore have less insulation on my body.

But am I a frog? Spatch defined a cold frog as "someone who hates, and avoids, the feeling of being cold" (Tilley 2007) . I don't think I'm quite there... yet.

the active and the passive...

Now that I have your attention, Steff, this post is actually not about grammar...

This morning I was walking to uni, trying to figure out what I was really doing with my life, where I would end up when I graduate, when suddenly, this blue station wagon pulled out of a driveway. This station wagon was driven by a middle aged woman, and the passengers were and three younger children, obviously on their way to school.

She had the window hardly open and was smoking, these kids would have surely been inhaling second hand smoke. I felt so sorry for them, in fact it broke my heart. I know it's a parents choice in how they treat their children, but in the same way, I couldn't help but think about these poor children.

And immediately I was reminded of the harsh reality I live in. This day and age where children are abused, not only physically, but emotionally and mentally. It's something we've been learning about in our Health classes this week, that problems in childhood can lead to problems in adult hood. I was indeed thinking about this the other day on why these days there are so many people are diagnosed with depression. A friend replied with the response 'abuse of the mind'.. I cant help but think they were right.

And so while thinking about all of this in this instance this morning as the blue stationwagon headed for the traffic lights, I couldnt help but feel this sense of the fact that I am in a position that I can change the world in. I am at uni being equipped with skills to make a positive influence on these kinds of kids. And ultimately I believe that there is this ultimate higher power behind me, and that is the empowering of the Holy Spirit! I just need to surrender myself to that.. I know that there are several more hurting families and children in this city, that are abused, that are told they are worth nothing, but I want to tell them that there is a God who loves them, that God can heal their broken hearts!

screaming sanity on a Friday morning

So I've changed my timetable so that sometimes (not always) I have class on Friday morning. This is really cool because I get to spend this time with my best friend Steff and my housemate Claire, and also I function better at 10 after no classes rather than at 12 after 2 hours of classes. It's also good because there aren't 50 people in the one class, and my lecturer will probably now give me an A because I swapped into the smaller class (haha I wish!)

The class we do is PE, and I actually don't mind it. Today we made an obstacle course and ran around. Then we did some skipping which was fun, but I was really unco and usually messed up the whole routine. It was fun none the less. I was running around crazy, and having so much fun I couldn't breathe! Then a girl called Ange did some line dancing with us which was hilarious. Ange will make a great teacher! It was the best fun..

And then..

We ran around screaming!

Claire went first, then Steff, then me, but I didn't get very far, because the screaming was so hilarious I cracked up laughing! (the objective is to see how far you can run while screaming, and when you stop screaming, you stop running. It's like a race! It's fun. You should play it some time.)

So that's how they teach us to become teachers.

Usually I hate PE. But I think a recent change in lifestyle has helped me a lot.

I was never the one to do any type of physical exercise. In the last few years, the most I would get was the walk to uni every morning (I lived on campus) and even then sometimes Steff would drive me home (not leaving campus).

This year I moved off campus. Luckily I still am in walking distance to uni, but it is about 4 blocks away up some very steep hills, which gives me plenty of exercise. I usually walk every day. I eat a lot better because I often share food with Claire. And I am seeing results.

Just last week (or the week before) some 'parents' (not mine, just some at church) said to me that I was looking so much healthier, radiating with life, and that even my skin looked better! And today in PE I was constantly hitching up pants that four months ago were almost too tight!

The results haven't just been physically, but also emotionally, and mentally. I think I am doing better academically (now just need to get over the procrastination). And it's like Maslow's hierarchy of needs, when these things are in place, we will probably function better spiritually. Well, I think that may be the case for me. And that's not to say that you wont without fulfilling needs. I have no scripture here. Don't listen to someone who doesn't back up what they say without evidence :P (I'm the evidence?)

God gave me a body. He gave me free will. The choice whether to neglect it, or to actually make a difference and make it more effective (durable). I think that God wants me to take care of what I've got. I was sick of feeling so yuck. And I'm glad I started doing something about my health!

Thankyou God for steep hills! (never thought I'd say that!)

Like those hills are hard, if you keep persevering, you can conquer them!

Chicken soup for a sick little Sammy...

From soup

I went to the airshow on saturday at Avalon Airport (which is near Geelong, which is near Melbourne, for my interstate readers - and I am yet to properly blog about it). I just happened to go on the coldest day of March, and I was stupid enough to not rug up enough, and the weather was a bit cold and miserable, but despite that, it was the best day ever that I'd been counting down since february.

Because of my stupidity, I have become very sick. I was like a zombie at church on sunday. I didn't go to uni on monday, missing three hours of class. Yesterday (tuesday) I went to two hours out of five hours of class, falling in a heap by lunch time, and bawling my eyes out because I just wanted to persevere and stay at uni. My friends wouldn't buy it, and insisted I go home.

I got home and was feeling rather miserable and depressed, sitting in the lounge room watching some cheesy day time TV, all I wanted to do was be back at uni! (wow, imagine if I had this determination when I'm NOT sick!).. Then...

...SUDDENLY...

...the most RANDOM thing happened!

This retro looking car pulls into my drive way, and it is none other than my friend Stoz (who just happens to be the boyfriend of my wonderful friend Steff). I was rather confused as I answered the door, and then Stoz places in my hands two cans of chicken noodle soup (two different brands, in case I was picky I suppose), and said these gifts he beared were from my very dear friend Steff. It made me smile. In fact I am smiling as I am writing this because it was so incredibly sweet :)

So Steff, I've said this many times before. (actually I am stealing this off you).. You're a dag, but you're my dag!

And Stoz, thanks for the delivery!

May God bless you guys heaps as you bless so many people! You guys are invited around for a soup-night at my place - I will cook it for you - when I am not so sick! :)

Here are some pictures of the exciting soup experience - Very nice for canned soup!

From soup

when I'm found in the desert place...

A friend asked me a little while ago what psalm 63 meant. I decided to write her an email, going through it bit by bit, and it ended up being a sermon.. I've added more since I sent it to her!

Psalm 63
1 O God, You are my God;
Early will I seek You;
My soul thirsts for You;
My flesh longs for You
In a dry and thirsty land
Where there is no water.
2 So I have looked for You in the sanctuary,
To see Your power and Your glory.

3 Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,
My lips shall praise You.
4 Thus I will bless You while I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name.
5 My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness,
And my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips.

6 When I remember You on my bed,
I meditate on You in the night watches.
7 Because You have been my help,
Therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice.
8 My soul follows close behind You;
Your right hand upholds me.

9 But those who seek my life, to destroy it,
Shall go into the lower parts of the earth.
10 They shall fall by the sword;
They shall be a portion for jackals.

11 But the king shall rejoice in God;
Everyone who swears by Him shall glory;
But the mouth of those who speak lies shall be stopped.

OK, so starting at verses one and two..

1 O God, You are my God;
Early will I seek You;
My soul thirsts for You;
My flesh longs for You
In a dry and thirsty land
Where there is no water.
2 So I have looked for You in the sanctuary,
To see Your power and Your glory.

We find ourselves in different situations that seem like a 'desert place'. Everything seems to be going not our way. It's like being thirsty, and needing to be refreshed by something, and God is that refreshment. God can only supply the needs for our deepest longings. Jesus says in John 4:14: but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.

It also says in this verse: 'early I will seek You'. Have you ever looked for an answer for something and it be there right in front of you, but you seem to take ages to find it? It's somewhere I seem to find myself often, searching for something that I have left in the most obvious place, but I search everywhere else until I find the thing I am looking for in the place I should have looked at first.

Early we need to seek God. He has the answers! Why would you look everywhere else when our answer is right there? I am very guilty of something going wrong, and then instantly messaging Steff saying "the sky is falling!". God tells us to seek FIRST the kingdom of God (says it twice in the Old Testament and Once in the New Testament). Seek for a godly response to situations in everything you do. God's power and glory exists in the people who dwell in Him, and seek Him first.

3Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,
My lips shall praise You.
4 Thus I will bless You while I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name.
5 My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness,
And my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips.

God is ultimately awesome! And he deserves our praise all the time, when we have an abundance of good things and things are going great, and even in the desert place. It's like in the song: Blessed be Your Name.

6 When I remember You on my bed,
I meditate on You in the night watches.
7 Because You have been my help,
Therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice.
8 My soul follows close behind You;
Your right hand upholds me.

This sounds like me the other night. As a little girl I used to be really frightened of thunder storms. Now I open my bedroom window and watch them from my bed all night! I love storms, it reminds me of God's great power! :)

God protects us. We are so precious in His sight. Cling onto this promises. He is the creator of the universe, he is MASSIVE! And he knows you by name. He cares about you so much and would not let anything bad happen to you.

Jeremiah 29:11 says For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope... This verse is often quoted to give inspiration, and I agree whole-heartedly, but I think an important part of this is in the next few verses.. When you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, says the LORD.

So many people throw this verse around here and there, sometimes just as a general band-aid fix, but forget that end bit. When we pray, GOD WILL LISTEN. When we seek earnestly with all we have for God, WE WILL FIND HIM. It sometimes just takes perseverance. The enemy often fills our heads with doubt that we will never get anywhere, that this is useless.. It just takes a lot of perseverance through everything.

Rely on God through the storms in your life! It's through these we can grow stronger with God (when we let Him) and He teaches us important life lessons. I find that most of the hard things I go through, down the road I will stumble along someone who is in the same situation, and I can help them because I have been in the same thing. Evidence of this can be found in 2 Corinthians 1:3-7: Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort. (oops I have totally tangented here.. moving on...)

9 But those who seek my life, to destroy it,
Shall go into the lower parts of the earth.
10 They shall fall by the sword;
They shall be a portion for jackals.

God has absolute favour on His children. You ARE God's child. Jesus never promised it would be easy, and there sure can be persecution from all directions sometimes. People can try all sorts of things to manipulate us, to make us feel low, but we are God's, and the people who do wicked things against his genuine children will pay in the long run. What makes me so sad is when God's children do things against their fellow brothers and sisters in Christ! But God is a just God. He knows what is right and wrong, it just takes discernment (which can be gained simply by knowing what is right and wrong according to His Word, and also that 'spiritual' discernment) on our part. Sometimes it's obvious and people don't want to admit it.

God's word is like a double edged sword. It is the TRUTH. And I wholeheartedly believe that what is in there is how God wants us to live. If something someone is doing doesn't have the same values as the bible, I am always wary of if it is really Godly.

11 But the king shall rejoice in God;
Everyone who swears by Him shall glory;
But the mouth of those who speak lies shall be stopped.

OK, we are not kings, that was probably relating to David, the author of the psalm, who was a king. But God has called us to be His children, and because of this, we are children of the king (God being the king!), and when you're that, it means we are princes and princesses!

Whoever says that they are His, and works with what he asks, are seen as so precious in His sight. But those who want to go against the children of God, the ones that speak lies against us, will be stopped. It's a promise. Don't see it happening? Pray. Claim it as a promise, because God's word is full of them!

[ Kudos to Spatch for sending this verse in a sms to me :) ]

a bronze babe and a chocolate Steff

On Wednesday night, Steff and I dyed our hair at about 1 in the morning. Oh the things you do when you're tired and under the influence of Sammy!

The lovely Steff went a lovely brown chocolate, while I went for a bronze babe. (How wrong does that sound!?) The results were impressive.

We also watched a retro movie called Down with Love. Well, Steff watched it, I slept through parts, munched on chicken twisties to try and stay awake, and still managed to get the general jist of the movie. It inspired me to invest in a beret.

4-5am saw us in bed, sending hilarious 1c texts across the house. I somehow managed to get up at 10am and cleaned parts of the house.

Pictures? Well, because it's either my dial-up or blogger being stupid I have uploaded them to my deviantart. Click here to see before and after pics. Click here to see even more pics!!!

Your Hair Should Be Orange

Expressive, deep, and one of a kind.You pull off "weird" well - hardly anyone notices.

What's" Your Funky Inner Hair Color?