kesaksian

I'm not the biggest fan of posting lyrics, am a bit cynical of music, especially some modern stuff, but this song has been on my mind a lot lately. The words are really powerful, beautiful and true, and give God a lot of glory for who He is, and isn't just hung up on "I will". The last verse just keeps playing over and over in my mind.

Paradise Community Church: Power in the blood
Isn't there something beautiful
when you call out that Name
Isn't there power amazing
when in unity we say,
"Jesus Your love upon
that hill means we are saved,"
Jesus there is power in Your Name.

Majesty, power and love,
Holiness, peace from above
With me in mind, Lord You took the blame,
Jesus there is power in Your Name.

There is power in the blood,
No more sin and shame,
They’re gone in Jesus' Name,
There is power in the blood,
And that power lives in me.

jururawat

Here's something I don't think you know about me: I went through high school wanting to be a nurse! You wouldn't think it, would you?

It has all been coming back to me since I've been watching reruns of All Saints on Prime. It used to be my favorite show, Libby Tanner was my idol, and Georgie Parker is an awesome actor.

Unfortunately, our local tv station (only station at the time apart from abc) was taken over from channel nine, and I didn't get to see any more of channel seven until I moved to Bendigo (which was quite a few years). We only got channel 10 half way through my year 12 (2004). Even still, I don't watch a lot of TV.

I dont think I would have made the best nurse, I hate hospitals. I become sick enough being around kids.

It was an interesting show today. There was a girl with a heart condition who died but they revived her. She came back and she was sitting there absolutely amazed, saying that she saw a bright light, and had met God. She claimed that God had told her everything was going to be all right, and that the rest of her life was going to be happy. She needed to be rushed to surgery to get better, but died on the way. Her husband couldn't understand. He thought she was going nuts, and especially now, since she said that God said the rest of her life would be happy. But clearly, sitting there in her bed with a big grin on her face, she was indeed happy she had just seen God.

The topic of God often comes up in this show, I don't know if it does any more, but I think that's because Terry (Parker) is a nun.

All Saints is still around, but I havent bothered to watch the episodes on it, because neither Bron (Tanner) or Terry is there any more. Maybe next tuesday night I'll tune in.

Take the AS Character Test

sekali lagi

Once again I am here.

I woke up several times in the night, but it wasnt too bad. I woke up feeling better each time, and would be really happy and go back to sleep.

I woke up and felt really good. I was so excited, and felt like it had been a miraculous healing. I was much better than I expected, and still am.

I went to school today. It was kind of exciting because it was footy day, and because my team is port power, it means I can have a lot of fun in a victorian school. Although I was a bit skeptical about wearing my port power gear, because of the dissapointing incident that happened there yesterday.

We walked around the oval, came in and I took a lesson, but my nose wouldnt stop running. It was awful and gross.

I asked my teacher if there was a pharmacy in town, and he told me that the nearest one would be back in Bendigo, and then pretty much just told me to go home. So here I am. 10:30am, I came home.

It's so depressing. I hate this. The most productive times are when I'm sick, because I hate feeling out of action. I want to go and do stuff, not be locked up in this sick body. But alas I wasn't really enjoying school today because I was spending every five seconds blowing my nose. I was concerned about passing on my sickness to the students and staff. So where I'm going to make these days up I'm missing I don't know. Perhaps in the holidays.

Anyway, I think I'm going to watch a DVD or sleep or something.

:(

tidak ada

Why does life seem so much more depressing when you're sick?

I really wanted to go to school today. I am having the best time, but I woke up and could barely talk. I feel like my throat is swallowing knives, and my nose is not stop.

It sucks - but I don't think I will be very effective today. I was supposed to umpire soccer.

I feel so depressed at the moment. I wish I was there. I dont even want planning days. I want to soak up every bit of prac that I can!

But common colds need common sense. I will take it easy today. Put a DVD on, and with my laptop just do some work.

Mergh. Give me sympathy! :P nah, just kidding!

hari ketiga

To draw it for you in a picture:

Yes, I am sick. I woke up this morning with a sore throat, by recess my nose was not going to turn off. This happens every practicum at some stage. This time I was lucky enough to get it in my first week, so hopefully this will be my only sickness for prac.

So it has left me feeling really tired and knocked around. But despite that, it was a good day. I taught my first lesson in front of the whole class for the prac. It went really well, I couldn't believe it. What happened between last prac and this one when I got so confident? The teacher gave me feedback, saying it all went well, and I sounded really confident. Last semester I had a lecturer telling me that I severely lacked confidence. It's God.

Today was open day. The teacher was saying that we were having some visiters in, and he said that "if one comes in..." and another child shouted out "act normal?" It was pretty funny.

hari dua

Yesterday... I got up at 6am, all ready for prac.. "Kachinnnga!"

Last night... a tired little Sammy, at roughly 10pm..

(that doesnt even look like the same person!)

Today was a good day. Have been getting to know the kids. They're not perfect, but they're a wonderful bunch with character! Steff, you will be pleased to know one of my kids were misbehaving by singing Grace Kelly today, although he didnt know the order of the lyrics, so it was a tad amusing, him standing on his chair with his terrible singing "why don't you like me!"

I sat in art with the kids a little while, which was a really great time to just sit and chat with the them. I ended up talking with my new Port Power friend, and he wanted to know all about my life in South Australia, and how many games I've been too and all that jazz. Then he asked if I had a boyfriend or if I was married... umm?

Its time to get into the real stuff: the planning. This is what teaching is all about. I've had it easy, but now it's time to get serious. (AHGH I just realised I need to do ENS too!) I have a lot to plan. Some PE lessons, Literacy, even a whole LOTE lesson without another LOTE teacher, as she is on leave. I got to work out what to teach them though, because VELS isn't very specific.

The girls in my class are pretty cool. Yesterday they complimented me on what I was wearing. When I was doing bus duty they all said "bye Miss Smedley!" When I was leaving the school, one of the parents came in and told me that their son had been talking about me, and that it was all good stuff. That was a real confidence booster.

I have a lot on my mind, but I'm really enjoying this round a lot. I'm very close to saying its my favorite so far, but I've only been here two days, so its too early to say.

"Sammys passionate about hurting children" ... that can be taken two ways :|

dalam dunia lain

I know I often talk about Victoria being like a different world, but really, it feels like it is for me, because home is so far away, and I don't get to go there much.

Last night, I was looking for a phone number in my phone, and I went past 'G' and there was the mobile number for my Grandpa. The stupid thing is this all doesn't feel real. I feel like I will go home and things will be just like they were when I left in 2005. Wrong. People change, the kids have grown up, the emo population has increased.

Last year my grandpa became very unwell. The doctors weren't exactly sure what was wrong with him. He became unwell one day and ended up in a hospital. Next I knew, my mum was calling me, to tell me he was in intensive care in Adelaide and had had a stroke. I rushed to Adelaide to see him, he made progress while I was there. But I can't handle Adelaide. I hate the place to tell you the truth. He had gotten a bit better when I arrived, but out of this I couldnt stand seeing him like he was. With tubes going all places. I was convinced he was going to get better. He didn't. On the 20th of November, 2006, he died. The day before my 20th birthday, the day I was mugged.

It hurt, and I know that he was old. I know his time was up. But I miss him so much.

My mum calls me to tell me all of what's happening as a result of him not being around anymore. But it just doesn't feel real. It feels like some bizarre story going on in another galaxy. I feel like if I called his number he'd pick up. I feel like if I went home he'd be there, with a new computer problem for me to fix. When I go to his grave, it just seems like Grandma's there, not Grandma and Grandpa. It just doesn't seem real, and it has been quite a while now.

When he died, there was this song freshly on the radio. Whenever I hear this song I often feel a little sad. It comes up and I realise I'm not over it.

It was on in the SU the other day. And I just wanted to run away, but Steff and I were waiting for someone. While the song was playing I just stared at this grain of salt on the table with my perfect vision, and I could feel the tears swelling up in my eyes. Steff asked me something and then I managed to compose myself and concentrate on what she was saying to me and get my mind off it.

I have days when I'm fine. I have days when I know that he'd be proud of me. I have days when I miss him like crazy, and it just doesnt seem real.

I live in another world. And it's bizarre.

tiga dan empat

"Good morning Miss Smedley..."

It was my first day of my 3A teaching round today. It has been fun so far. I am really needing the refresment from the theory of uni, and also because my last prac was really bad.

I was a bit puzzled as to why God had put me in this school, with me being so homesick I was extremely close to changing my round to Murrayville or Pinnaroo, but God had other plans. In a way this confused me, but then after the events of last night, and also the fact that from the moment I walked into the school, I felt this peace and joy, I knew this was right.

So far has been so good. To set the scene: I am with grade 3/4's with a male teacher who really likes PE, in a smaller school outside Bendigo, about a 20 minute drive from me.

Anyway, so I was just observing, going around the class and doing stuff, when I came across two boys I nearly had to seperate. Anyway, I noticed some of the boys were paying him out because of the colours of his pencil case, and a temporary tattoo on his arm caught my eye. He also had a teal band on with the words "power". I asked, "do you go for port power?" He said yes and the kids kinda laughed at him. Then I told him that I did too! I think I've won him over!

Later I was walking back from PE with my supervising teacher, and he asked me, "So are you a Bendigo girl?"
"Nah, I'm from South Australia!"
"Oh, that explains why you barrack for Port Adelaide! You're not like all Port Adelaide supporters are you?" (for those who don't know, Port Adelaide is a little feral)

So all in all, I've had a good day. I'm really excited. I want to put everything into this prac, and do really well!

gembira

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

excited
excited
excited

I dont know if this is bad to be this excited or not.

AHAHAHA. I just want to shout from the rooftops how great my God is.

God has been so evident in the events of today. The fact that I didn't have Mez there holding my hand, and I having the courage that God had put in me to go the places I went without hesitance - it was God. He is so real, and He lives in me!

And this excites me. I've had some really, like, wow things spoken over my life, specifically over the next few weeks of my life, and this just blows me away.

But with my excitement I just want to tell someone all of this! But will they think I'm crazy? So far it seems so.. This, in this blog, is just a snapshot.

Honesty.

I just want to write this down, capture this little bit of history of this feeling on my blog. I know the feeling will die down, and I know that the feeling will go to the other extreme, because that's what happens. Life is always a roller coaster, up and down.

But on that note I will share this with you:

Habakkuk 3:17-19
17 Though the fig tree may not blossom,
Nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail,
And the fields yield no food;
Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
And there be no herd in the stalls—
18 Yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will joy in the God of my salvation.
19 The LORD God ^[c] is my strength;
He will make my feet like deer’s feet,
And He will make me walk on my high hills.

Blessed be the name of the Lord! Blessed be His glo-ho-horious name! :P

It's going to be an exciting prac!

ide

Ok, so for me to be qualified in secondary education, I need another minor on top of my Indonesian major. I am going to either have to over enroll or go postgrad..

but I've got the best idea!

I'll do the over enrolling next semester! Apparently my 1st year subject in IT counts towards a minor! So my plan is to pick up an IT subject next semester, finish Indonesian this year, do my meth and complete the minor next year. That will make me qualified to teach primary school, and IT and LOTE in high schools!

Or maybe I should do maths. I don't know if I want to do maths. Or art! I'd love to do art. But I'd hate to teach it.

I'd like to be an Indonesian specialist in Primary Schools, or a classroom teacher in Primary school. The secondary thing is just a back up.

Good idea, bad idea?

tempat lahir

Last night I went to my beautiful friend Steff's 21st. Stoz made her the best video, and there was also a slide show of embarrasing photos that I dared not put up here.

It was bizarre though. It feels like Steff is a long lost friend. It feels like I've known her for longer than I actually have. Watching Stoz's video and the photos of Steff's last 21 years, at times where I didn't exist in her life, before she knew me.

And then I got thinking about my own 21st, which isn't until november. I was thinking about my photos I would have, with a majority of the people in them would no longer be a really big part of my life. I don't seem to have a lot of life long friends.

Part of me feels like I've lived in Bendigo my whole life. Or even like I havent really been that far away this whole time. It feels like I've just grown up in Castlemaine or something. In an actual fact, my 'ascendants' have come from places like Kyneton and Woodend, so I kind of originate from this area.

Something about this place, just feels like home. And even when I do go back to South Australia, it feels like something's missing. I go back and not too many people care that I'm there, most ask me how Adelaide is going. When I tell them that I don't live in Adelaide they say, "oh yes, that's right, sorry, how is Ballarat treating you?" agh! Moreso to the point that I'm not as South Australian as I come across.

The party was retro! I loved it! One thing that worried me though, and I couldn't help but notice: there seemed to be two distinct groups: the christians from church, and the uni non christian group. Now this is all fine and normal, but should I be concerned that I seemed to be in the uni group?

Anyway, that's what's on my mind, John Laws.