election

As you all know, today is the federal election. I voted on thursday with my good friends Cara and Steff.

When you think about it, whatever happens today, we get a new prime minister.

21 today

"Are you really 21? I thought you were, 18!" - one of my mcdonalds co-workers

Last night I had a sleep over. Unfortunately, only Spatch came, but I didn't mind, because we had heaps of fun anyway.

We talked lots, watched a really bad movie, and really bad early morning tv.

And then this morning, she made me S-shaped pancakes.. with VEGEMITE!


and the day has just begun (ok it's 1pm, I'm still in my PJ's and waiting for my mum to arrive).

Sometimes I look at 21 as being "this is it", because now I'm just going to get old old. Not older but OLDER! But then, I think there is a beauty of being the baby of the group - I've watched my friends turn 21 and some 23 this year. My housemate will be 26 tomorrow. This gives me some hope that not only will I always have friends a bit older, but I've watched them have equally as much fun and sometimes equally as much immaturity.

Ah tonight shall be awesome! Stay tuned!

20/11/2006

It is exactly one year today since my Grandpa passed away.

I still miss him so much. To think that at his funeral, an exact week after, I would be flying to Indonesia in a years time. To think that I am nowhere near the person I was standing next to that grave as I am today. But the one thing that hasn't changed is how much I miss him, and am glad about so many good genes of him I have.

Sometimes, just the thought of him makes me smile - thinking, "he was a good chap"

Eggnog, anybody?

Today Cara and I ventured to Melbourne for almost only one purpose - to find Santa.



Mission successful, and Mez came too! Eggnog chickened out (you know who you are!)

kneebone flapping in the wind

Today, before I even had started work. I slipped on some water on my way into the crew room and stacked it! I fell onto my back, hitting my knee foroucisly on a bench.

For the rest of my shift I felt incredibly sore - my lower back in a lot of pain and my knee in quite sore. There's definately going to be a bruise there.

When it first happened it hurt so much I couldn't walk. I was so scared I'd really done some damage and wouldnt be able to go to Indonesia!

At the start of my shift I was in unbarable pain, but it got better as the shift went on. However, it still hurts!

I also felt like I was going to throw up, but I think that's what happens when you live on processed food, most being mcdonalds all week. I gotta look after myself better.

Collosians 3:

22Servants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not only when their eyes are on you as pleasers of men, but in simplicity of purpose, with all your heart, because of your reverence for the Lord and as a sincere expression of your devotion to Him.

23Whatever may be your task, work at it heartily from the soul, as something done for the Lord and not for men,

24Knowing with all certainty that it is from the Lord and not from men that you will receive the inheritance which is your real reward. The One Whom you are actually serving is the Lord Christ - the Messiah.

2 weeks and counting.

This time, in two weeks, I'll be flying somewhere between Jakarta and Makassar. That's a tad overwhelming thought.

This morning I got myself out of bed after the crazy, tiring, night that was, last night at McDonalds. Yawning, I made my way over to a school to help kids4life out with a breakfast program.

After that had finished, a few of us were in the staff room cleaning up. I was telling two of the girls there about how I was going to Indonesia. I heard a voice from behind say, "where abouts are you going?" Sitting behind me was a man with white hair.

I ended up sitting with this guy for a good half an hour talking about my trip. He even went and got an atlas. He said he travels to Indonesia nearly every year, and spends a lot of time in Makassar. This put to rest a few small fears of mine.

He told me about the setting of towns like Makassar: very poor, a lot of poverty around, some heart breaking stuff.

The thing I think that scares me the most about going to Indonesia, is coming home!

I remember in 2005 coming home feeling so unbelievably depressed about our higher living standard, and I know that I will be seeing things to a greater degree of poverty there.

I am coming home 4 days before christmas. This in itself freaks me out. My family really pride themselves in what they get each other at times. Presents become a real stress of christmas. But I don't want to come back to such commercialism! Ack!

I'm also really afraid of coming home and not caring about the things and people I used to care about before I left. I think I just need to motivate myself to get some accountability when I get home. There is no doubt that I will be even more passionate about changing the world than I used to be!

There's no doubt that this will change my life - it may break me too!

I can't believe I'm living the dream! Something that has been on my heart for 5 years - I am finally living it! I am going to Indonesia!

It's a lot of things. It's exciting, scary, overwhelming, and just plain "AAGH!"

And I'm sure it's just the beginning :)

washed clean and forgiven!

Tonight I was called into work at McDonalds. Close. I hate close. With a passion! Luckily I found myself out by 10:45 which really was a record for me.

I was innocently in the wash up room washing the spinners that go in the shake and sundae machines, when I turn, to see one of the guys I work with, come in, and chuck two containers of water on me!

Now at first, I thought he was just being stupid, but at the same time I was thinking.. why would you do that!!? I began to laugh when his face just dropped and did a lot of "oh my God"ing, and apologising fifty million times, asking the manager if we had any spare shirts. But all I did was laugh and laugh and laugh in hysterics. I wasn't mad at all! Basically, usually he by default would chuck this water aimlessly into the washup room, but didn't know I was there. It's nobodies fault, we all end up going auto-pilot by this time of night.

I was saturated and he followed me around the restraunt a bit apologising, and I was not angry at all. I kept telling him that it really was fine, and that I was just amused by it. (In fact, I'm still laughing about it). He was really amazed at how un-angry and gracious I was about the whole ordeal.

Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
(Luke 6:37)

It made me think about how we often will chuck the water, so to speak on God. And although He is probably angry when we do it, when we don't seem to be genuinely concerned, or to not realise we do it, but I wonder if He laughs when we come to him in repentance, over and over again.

Maybe it is like the saying "one day we'll laugh about it"...

shut up and pray!

And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment

(Phillippians 1:9)

Finally, brethren, pray for us, that the word of the Lord may run swiftly and be glorified, just as it is with you, and that we may be delivered from unreasonable and wicked men; for not all have faith.
(2 Thessalonians 3:1-2)

Some good points from John Bevere,

• Discernment is not SUSPICION. (Suspicion being fear motivated, and fear isn't of God).
• Discernment is CONCERN for others and their welfare. (it won't carry hidden agendas or critical spirits).
• Love is crucially important when discerning. Love cast's out all fear and gives an atmosphere where discernment (not suspician) can flow.
• Jesus confronted, but also loved. He confronted IN love.
• If you are discerning - pray rather than gossip! (And know the true difference between gossip and concern!)
• Check your motives (are you being ultra spiritual, or genuinely concerned?)

This was sure a wake up call for me. Really tested and challenged me! I have been guilty of trying to be ultra spiritual and suspicious on many occasions. I've been moved to use my discernment as a real thing to pray about (as it always should have been). ie, when an issue comes, just shutup (ie stop gossiping) and pray!

And yes, despite the man himself being in Melbourne, I didn't go to see him. This is merely adapted from his book, Victory in the Wilderness. (Pages 79-80)

What's in a name?

When I was born, my parents could only agree on one thing. This one thingwas to give me the name Samantha. Of all the names they could agree on, I wonder why this was the one. I really don't like this name, but as I get older I am starting to appreciate it more and more.

When I was in Reception (and for those who don't know, that's what they call 'Prep' in South Australia), my teachers stumbled upon a problem. I was not the only Samantha in the class. There was indeed, another Samantha. Now this could easily be fixed by just calling me Samantha S, right? Wrong! Because we both had surnames starting with S!

So when we entered into grade one, the first day, the classroom teacher fixed the problem. After a quick discussion, I was renamed Sammy, and the other Samantha just became Sam.

Sammy comes with a lot of little cliche's added at the end. Sammy the snail, the sea gull, sea slug, sea snail.. you get the picture. Many of which I got throughout my life at school.

My last name is Smedley. Smedley, in old english, means "smooth clearing". In about year six I made my own name for myself, which was Smedles [Smed-ools]. I tried to be Smeds but soon my sister got that title, and it sticked to her better than it did me. I remember kids turning Smedles into snails. And in my early high school days getting the names Sammy Smelly and Sammy Shmell-bad. And I was up for these terrible last names, because when you wrote Smedley into Microsoft Word, and you would click spell check, it would say Smedley: Did you mean Smelly?

Later into VCE, I was called either Shammy my car (I found that one amusing), C-mos (a very long story - and for those who don't know, it's a clock battery in your computer), Sammy Airways, and also, by my IT teacher, I was dubbed Sammy-badger-badger.

Time went on, and I didn't really get many more names. But then suddenly, about a year ago (although it seems so much longer!) I met this girl, who appears has has also been given a few different names. In fact, she quite commonly goes by the name of a cooking instrument.

It all started one night talking nonsense about various food, and it has grown into something greater.

You see, this friend of mine, she really likes brussels sprouts. So one day, after school, I went down to the local fruit and veg place, and brought her a bag of brussel sprouts.

On this bag, I wrote "You will always be my brussels sprout, no matter where you are, even when you're out of season!"

And so there started the new thing. She turned into Sprout, and somehow I was dubbed the name, "Broccoli".

A few weeks later I went to do a bit of stuff for kids4life at a school. I didn't know one of the guys were there, but some how he thought my name was "Flick". It started a new thing. My friend that DID know me began to call me Flick too! Luckily it hasn't stuck too much.

But going back to this Sprout friend of mine, last night we were getting into a very bizarre in depth conversation. I don't even know how it started. But basically, my new name now is Grandma.

But then my question is this: how can I be Sprout's grandma, when I am 2 years younger than her? We were trying to mathematically work this out last night, and I guess what I want to ask, dear blogger, is it possible, to have a grandmother who is 2 years younger than you? I'm interested to hear your responses!

I just wonder what my next name will be!

blog some more...

Most of you should know this already, as you should have got an email. If you didn't email, please talk to me, because I thought I had most of you on my contact list!

As of the 27th of November, through till the 21st of December, this blog will not be posted in. Instead, be directed over here.

Why not just post here you ask? Let me explain.

For one, I have forwarded my new blog to a lot of people, family members. The blog does not link to my profile or to my blog. I don't want that many people reading my blog, where people might become scared of my views or something. Link my parents to this blog? I don't think so!

The blog (as well as this one) is also unlisted on google for security reasons. That means no nasties can google me and find me and hunt me down or anything rediculous.

It's also easier than sending out bulk emails! Yay for blogs - the way of the future! Along with RSS, the way of the future. Thanks to Geoff (whom is the 'other half' of Bec) with this post, I've been converted to google reader - where hast thou been all my life??

So, lo and behold: TRAVELLING WITH SAMMY!

http://travel-with-sammy.blogspot.com

(in the meantime, please keep reading and commenting on this blog for the next 20 days :D)

God has ADD II

Back in February I blogged about God has ADD. This post could almost be called Sammy has ADD.

Tonight, after work, I visited Mez's family (minus Mez). I left at about 10:30 (so I stayed for about 2 hours). Apon getting outside and walking to my car, I realised there was flashes of lightning. I paused and adored the lightning for a few seconds.. then I realised I was indeed standing alone in the middle of Kangaroo Flat. A big no-no.

So I got into my car, and began to drive and admire this beauty! I went from Kangaroo Flat, the back way through the forrest to Spring Gully, and then through the city to find higher land. I then found myself out at Eaglehawk, followed by Epsom, somehow Epsom turned into Huntly, then I got sleepy, and I kinda felt God telling me, have some common sense and lets go home! Huntly then turned into Epsom again, then Epsom went back into Junortoun, becoming Strathdale and finally, Flora Hill.

All throughout this journey, I saw planes (as in, supposedly jumbo jets going in and out of Melbourne): imagine the show they'd be getting!

It's funny, because last time, God was screaming, Look at me! This time, I was yelling, SHOW ME MORE! ... Who has ADD now?

Often the lightning wouldn't be in my view. On numerous occasions I went to look over my shoulder to check a blind spot or what not, and there I'd see a flash of lightning. Yep, God was trying to point out something to me.

(Psalm 139)
8 If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
9 If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.

It doesn't matter where you look. If you look over your shoulder, in the rear view mirror, or actually keep your eyes on the road - I am there!

I was listening to some beautiful, definately 'anointed' music. It didn't have words, it was just instrumental piano and violin (however I know the words anyway). In this time, chasing after the lightning, I started really getting into some of the questions that were on my heart in this post, which I wrote merely yesterday.

"I'm really trying to work out where it is I belong. You would think that after 3 years in Bendigo I would have worked it out... I am finding myself run around in the same circles. It's like this malicious cycle where I end up getting incredibly hurt... My heart is so broken. I need some sort of stability!" (my words yesterday)

I think God really laid on my heart what it is that I actually mean by stability. What am I basing my stability on? While it is fantastic to be stable in a church, and it is highly recommended, I do not think that anybody should just quit somewhere stable, God really put it out to me as to how much emphasis I put on "church" rather than God Himself!

Now, I could go on and on about the politics and my beliefs (what many would say are bizarre and out there) about church are, but I think that I will either bore you, or I will start a fight. But when will we stop turning to "the church" and start turning to God?

Why is it I so long to be having this official prayer doosy whats it for Indonesia? When it's not being up the front that's so important. It's the people who are actually praying!

Going back to the lightning. As I finally turned into my street, I pleaded with God, please, just one last flash of lightning? Please oh please oh please oh pleeeease!!!? But there in that, I really felt the Holy Spirit speak, saying it doesn't MATTER if there's no lightning. God is still as real and is as there - no matter what!

another one bites the dust...

So here I was, innocently getting ready for work, when I noticed a small spider. It must have come from the clothes line area of my backyard!

It however is unlike any spider I have ever seen! It looked really tropical. It was about 1cm big, with a fluro green body, and a yellow like sack at the back.

I looked for my camera, but couldn't find it. I can't find it online.

Unfortunately, it was squashed by a tissue, as I didn't want it to dissapear into the rest of my
washing.

Lucky I'm not as scared of spiders as my sister. But now I have the eepedy geepedies that there are spiders all through what I'm wearing.. eek!

Here's a picture I drew of it. Does anyone know what kind of spider it is? Is it dangerous? It had fangs!

Victory in Victoria...

Oh what a way to spend your Friday afternoon. Supervising a bunch of primary students while they bash each other with poles. Then somehow my name is Flick. How you get Flick out of Sammy I don't know. It was fun enough though! But probably lotsa more fun for the kids! Oh preps are so gorgeous when they bash each other! Ahem. Anyway!

I went to a meeting about Indonesia today. It's 23 days (thanks to Steff's groovy blog) until I leave. It's all scary and exciting. So much to do before then: get through exams, try and get some work, my 21st, along with scratching around for more money!

There is quite a bit on my mind really. I'm really trying to work out where it is I belong. You would think that after 3 years in Bendigo I would have worked it out. And while I acknowledge nowhere is perfect, I know that surely, there is a Sammy shaped hole out there somewhere!

I am finding myself run around in the same circles. It's like this malicious cycle where I end up getting incredibly hurt. I can't pin point exactly why though! Perhaps it's my nature of going through phases. I don't know. But I can tell you, I hate being unresilient. If I have a problem, I like to seek to resolve it. But the thing is.. I just don't know the answer to this one! There has to be one! But right now it seems there isn't one! My heart is so broken. I need some sort of stability! I'm so desperate to just cling onto someone who knows what they're doing! I want to kick this 'isolated' feeling!

mergh.

OK.

Let's turn this around...

Because there is hope! And I need to embrace the truth!

I've been reading a book by John Bevere called Victory in the Wilderness. It has given me a lot of hope about what I'm going through.

See, we're all going to go through times like what I'm going through (some similar circumstances, some not). And Jesus himself went through tough times.

Bevere talks about Jesus in the desert. How these 'desert times' are like character building places. We need these to be able to grow. And in the meantime, God doesn't give us "Abundance of stuff", but moreso, what we NEED.

ah It's a great book. Anyone can borrow it after me if they want!

choice

Choices. I don't like choices.

I grew up in a town where the choice "McDonalds or KFC" didn't exist. I lived in a town where the you take the one and only choice or you go without. My lunch was usually planned out for me. Even when choosing whether I go to Murrayville (vic.) or Lameroo (SA) for high school, the decision was already made.

In my last three years at Bendigo, one of the hardest thing was adapting to having a choice. I had a choice of Coles, Safeway or IGA. I could buy home brand or black and gold. I had options of going to places like Ballarat and Melbourne. I had a choice of AOG, Victory, the Baptist, Short Street Church of Christ and more (3 years on I'm still struggling with this choice!). All this choice I had not previously encountered back in Pinnaroo, the one supermarket, three churched hole in South Australia!

But one thing I am thankful for is that I already had made a choice that in Bendigo, it didn't matter what I was studying, it be Arts or Education, I just wanted to do Indonesian. Even though it would have been nice to bludge through Arts, I am somewhat glad that I am in Education, as it is a clear pathway of what I am likely to be doing at the end of next year.

In the last three years, my path has been all set out for me. I sit through the core units, I progress towards an Indonesian major. Re-enrolling at the end of each year was a breeze!

But it is 2007, and I am coming to the end of my third year. Re-enrolling isn't so easy, because I have to make choices. I now have my Indonesian major. One would think that 8 units of Indonesian, plus the LOTE methodology I have to undertake next year would be enough.

But my choices don't look feasable. Info Tech doesn't look as good as it was going to. Art is about ceramics. Everything else is looking pretty.. blah.

So guess what I've gone and done. I've gone and enrolled myself in the Indonesian Reading Course. Like I said, isn't a major enough? Basically, I'm out of options. Nita was incredibly pleased (BTW, Steff, Nita is insistant that you join us ;) ), and showed me the book we will be studying. It is the size of the New Testament and is all in Indonesian.

But then I come to my next dilemma...

Because my methodology is only worth 10 credit points a semester, this leaves me 10 credit points down to actually get my degree. That means I need to pick up just one more subject somewhere.

And then I got an email about a course that's running over summer. It's basically a unit on ICT and Interactive Whiteboard stuff. I might do it during semester if I don't do it over summer.

So I am faced with this choice. Do I really want to do Indonesian next year? Do I do ICT over summer or bulk it over the second semester? Or do I ditch Indo and go my own way (as apposed to going with what my friends are doing and having that accountability/company) doing PE, special abilities, art, catholic ed, calculus or something crazy!

Choices. Bah! Anyone have some advice for me?

Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass. (Psalm 37:4-6)