the king of baked potatoes

It all started on sunday night when I was innocently watching Rove Live, waiting for my mum to call me to pick her up from her night out. Rove was interviewing Myf Warhurst from triple j. As with all of the guests on Rove's show, he asks them questions to earn $20 in 20 minutes.

The clock is counting down, and there are about 5 seconds left, when Rove asks Myf, "Is Elvis still alive?"
She answered quite excitedly, "Yes! He lives in Bendigo!"
Rove cries, "wait! wait! stop the clock I want to hear this - What?"
The clock is stopped, and Myf explains that Elvis is indeed alive, and selling baked potatoes in the Mall in Bendigo.

At the time it was pretty funny, and in good Sammy tradition, it still was funny last night.

After telling this to my sister, and to Steff, which I'm sure both found it very amusing, I decided to play a little trick on my friend Trav. You see, Trav replaced his mobile a little while ago now, and with that I decided to play a bit of a "guess who" trick on him. It was fun for a while, but given the circumstances under which I was messaging him (and also I suspect, cheating), he soon worked out it was me (however his first guess was 'are you male?'). I guessed that he'd never think I'd be behind such a trick again. And so far, I think I'm right, as this secret will be revealed to him when he reads this post.

With my mothers phone I decided to send Trav a message: "Hey, you'll never guess what! Elvis is alive and well and selling baked potatoes in the Bendigo Mall".
A while later I got a message back from Trav informing me that he had indeed got a new phone and had lost his numbers so he didn't know who I was.
I was delighted to inform Trav that I was indeed Rove McMannus.

After this I went and packed for the long trip home, and got organised, while my mum went to work. After getting ready, I decided that I'd better see if Trav had anything to say, but I couldn't find the mobile anywhere..

I soon forgot about it, got in my car and went down to say goodbye to my mum. She said to me, "Some Trav guy messaged me, and he said 'Say Hi to your mum for me'" (that is a famous quote Rove says at the end of each of his shows).

back to the future

"The sun is always shining
the beaches like a diamond
you can see for miles
with tons of friendly smiles
the fish are always biting
drivings dynamiting
the footy is to die for
you'll get yourself an eyeful
so do yourself a favour
and come to South Australia!"

Would you believe I actually saw that ad on TV last night! I forgot that all South Australians were like me and payed out Victoria like me. haha. Must be a 'South Australian thing'

Today I am going back to Bendigo. I haven't slept, been really restless, as well as the fact that I had a good ol' Farmers Union Iced Coffee that wasn't so good.

I had a good catch up with my old youth pastor yesterday. She is so inspiring, I'd say she's a lot like me in her theology and beliefs of things. It was also good to talk to her about my anxiety, and actually get a bit more of a pin point onto what it actually probably is that is causing it.

I officially have things up on ebay - clothes and even a mobile phone! Let me know if you're interested ;)

Umm.. I thought I knew what I was going to type in this little white box. It was going to be deep. But I think I've forgotten.

I'm going to miss the quietness and lack of voltage of Pinnaroo. I'm going to miss the fact that I can just go out the back and talk to the animals like Dr. Harry. I'm going to miss having mum around. I'm going to miss feeling safe when I walk down the streets. I'm going to miss the lifestyle on the weekend (that is things like bonfires, heading out the scrub, things like that).

But that said, there are some things I miss about Bendigo. Life is progressing there, life goes on, I have people there I love and miss. Isn't it funny how one bizarre dream can make you miss someone like crazy? I'm going to get some new fish when I get home.

I guess part of me hasn't wanted to grow up, but I need to. I'm 20 and I don't know where the years have gone. And that scares me, because next I know I'll wake up and be 40, but where will I be in my life?

Anyway, time for a bath (don't get them in Bendigo grr), and then the long and winding road back to the 'Go to do some study and catch up on the recent life I have missed.

Those old Pinnaroo days

This week, I looked in the local weekly newspaper (about 5 pages) called The Border Times, to find that a youth group from Aldinga Bay Baptist Church (that's in Adelaide) were coming down to have a camp in Pinnaroo. I used to love church camps, there was that special feeling about them. Anyway, the ad in the paper stated "BBQ - all Youth Welcome".

Two people knew I were coming, all the others were very surprised to see ol' Sammy Smedley turn up! "What are you doing here!!?"

I need to get a t-shirt that states answers to 3 frequently asked questions I keep getting asked:
- I live in Bendigo now, no, NOT Ballarat.. OR Adelaide
- I'm doing Education, yes, this is my 3rd year
- No I won't be a teacher next year, my course goes for four years.
(and just for the record, it's Sammy, not Jess)

So we had a BBQ at the church. I sat with a few people from Aldinga, and we had fun paying out Victoria for their lack of Stobie Poles and Fritz. I haven't sat with so many people who pronounce words such as plant and answer correctly for a very long time.

I also met a girl from Millicent (near Mt Gambier). She was good to talk to.

After tea, we headed out to one of the ladies houses for a bonfire. Ah, I miss the Pinnaroo life so much, where we had bonfires and just talked. It's these kinds of things that you just can't do in the city (imagine a bonfire in my backyard!). I guess I'm just different in the sense that I like these kinds of things, rather than doing city-like things like going to the movies.

This was the second bonfire I've had since I came home. Dad fixed the seats on my car (yay!), and we had one in his back yard.

I went to church this morning - the one I still am officially a member at. I expected to be singing some good old hymns, and I was actually pretty excited about this (someone last night said I get excited easily). But because the youth took the service, it was pretty contemporary (moreso than my current church in Bendigo even!) for Pinnaroo.

I cried in this church service. It takes a lot for me to cry. The reason? I don't want to go back to Bendigo! I like Pinnaroo suddenly. But then in and out of my thinking, I began to think about Bendigo, just a few situations. I know where I'm called to be and I can't run from that. Dang.

(the picture above is of me and my dad at a mallee fowls nest in the scrub. My sister and our dog Basil is in the bottom corner)

berita pagi

(That's Indonesian for 'the morning news')

I have been reminiscing about my trip to Indonesia in 2002. I went to see my high school Indonesian teacher on Friday. I've been going through all the things in my 'Indonesia-box'. Oh how I miss it!

Recently I applied to go to Indonesia for an intensive language experience in Sulawesi, Indonesia. I have not wanted something like this for a very long time.

I got an email today. I frantically clicked an email that had the subject line "congratulations". Along with nine other people from Bendigo, I have been selected to go to Sulawesi in December. You wouldn't believe how incredibly happy I am.

Now I need to frantically fund raise.

(The photo is the plane I boarded for a flight from Yogyakarta to Denpasar in 2002)

how bout that weather eh.

So I was sitting outside the Pinnaroo Post Office on a seat waiting for my Mum to pick me up the other day. I had just been to the op shop and brought $8 worth of goodies (I swear the best clothes I own are from there) - this includes 4 items of clothing - BARGAIN! Bendigo's op shops are so expensive!

Anyway, I'm innocently sitting there, and this random stranger says to me, "what are you warming up there?" .. It was utterly random and so I said back at him, "Are you kidding! This weather is tropical!"

He goes into the post office, comes back out and asks me, "So where are you from then?" And I said, "Bendigo."

"Oh," he says. "You guys are in a water crisis!"

Then he asked me where I was staying, and I was like, I used to live here, and told him who my mum was.

Then he says, "ahh.. you've inherited her hair!"

What the.. it was totally random!

there's no place like home

It's funny, Bendigo's water really does have a lot of chemicals in it. I come out of the shower here in Pinnaroo not feeling as clean :P We have rainwater. Who knows what's in it.

When I'm in Bendigo, it's amazing when I see another SA car. In fact, usually it is the most exciting part of my day! (Welcome to the colourful world of Sammy!). It's funny when you're driving down the main street of Pinnaroo, and all the cars have SA number plates! Then I realise that this town also has many stobie poles - wake up toto, we're back in Kansas, well, South Australia.

I'm not missing Bendigo yet. I am really enjoying being home, in the middle of nowhere, away from Bendigo. I don't think I'm going to bother going to Adelaide.

I've been getting a few messages since I left home. I sometimes read them out. Last night I got one from Cara (and another from Mez) and Mum says to me, "You actually have quite a few friends in Bendigo." She's right. Believe it or not, I pretty much grew up with no friends in high school. I was an outcast. A christian, now that's no fun, is it? Beck used to call us two peas in a far out pod.

Talked to the lady who was my 'youth pastor' in Pinnaroo many years ago. She can really identify with a lot of the struggles I am going through at the moment, we are incredibly like-minded 'discerner's', I think that she has kind of brought me up with my mindset, and quite honestly, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I've decided to sell heaps of old junk around the house on eBay - fund raising for Indonesia. I'm also scanning a whole heap of old photos. There may be a 'church camp' here on the weekend. I should be studying. The cat doesn't like me. I'm going to do another hair dye experiment.

Life in South Australia

I smell like duck poo!

Just thought I'd share a few photos of my time here in Pinnaroo so far... This blog post has taken so long to post because my mums computer is so s..l....o.....w..... But at the same time I am scanning photos from long ago - stay tuned!

Roses grow in South Australia! According to my Mum, Pinnaroo is one of the best climates for them..

My duck (Hi Spatch! I took these for you!)

My bewtiful doggy Basil

There's moss growing in our driveway!

Here's a fact for you: In South Australia most people don't use gas, and in our house EVERYTHING is electric! So that sucks when you live in the most unreliable town for electricity. It's not as fast as gas either, it takes ages to heat up the oven, stove and hot water!

And I couldn't not have a photo of the very famous Stobie Pole

mushroom mushroom...

A mushroom is soft (character = soft.. compassionate).

Have you ever seen a mushroom that pushes up through cement?

I haven't, but I've heard it happens. I can't wait until I do.

Cement is hard like a brick, yet a mushroom can break through it, despite being soft.

It means that you don't have to be hard to be strong. Think about it.

the hidden curriculum of your life

Its cold, it's cold, it's COLD! ... But thanks, God for the rain!

To escape this cold weather, I am getting right outta the state. Monday, I am going home. And I'm kind of happy, because I hate Bendigo right now. Perhaps going to somewhere with 'a little less civilisation' will make me feel a whole heap better.

My fish is dead.

I'm waiting the day when I'll be normal, when I can quit being cynical, when I can shake off the feelings that seem to hit my mind. "Oh but Sammy, you're just being discerning!"

It has now been a week since I finished prac. When I first got off it, I thought I'd be a mess, but I'm surprised as to how well I've adapted back into uni life. It certainly has been better having less contact-hours, although, I've been up at 6 nearly every morning anyway to try and get assignments done (I'm a morning person).

Although I've done well getting back into it, today was exceptionally hard. I went back to kids4life much, and to tell you the truth, I struggled to get through the doors. This along with a heap of crankiness caused by stress and no sleep didn't help. The whole time all I could think was about my kids on prac, how you just knew that kids were hurting there. It breaks my heart, and I feel guilty about it.

I felt as though that God was drifting a bit of my attention towards the window, where outside were all the kids that werent at the program (as it is up to the parents as to whether they can participate or not), that He cares about them too! There's so much hurt and hunger that these children are feeling that don't get the chance to be impacted by our program.

But with that I felt that God was telling me that I have a remarkable position as a teacher - I can reach the unreachable. Just because I am not under an official mission or because I am in a public rather than private school, this does not mean I am not doing God's work. Now don't think my life goal now is to go into schools and corrupt students, let me introduce you to a term I have learnt about this semester: The Hidden Curriculum.

The hidden curriculum is basically the unplanned learning, the values that a teacher gives forth to ones students.

Although this is a teacher term, I've been thinking about it a lot lately in how this concept is applied in every day life. We have our curriculum - what we need to get done and achieve, people we need to see, things we need to do. But how we go about it is the important part. What values and 'unplanned learning' happens extended to what we already do? (I hope this makes sense)

These kids trapped in a struggle and
Don't know where they're heading, no
A head full of trouble is all they're getting
And nobody knows the suffering they go through
And you wouldn't believe 'em if they told you

- These kids, Joel Turner and the Modern Day Poets

... and don't tell me off for posting music that isn't J-Pod, because this is reality.

Kids are hurting in the exact same ways I have, if not worse, and I don't think I'm doing enough to reach them...

Feeling a little.. bilingual?

bi·lin·gual /baɪˈlɪŋgwəl or, Can., -ˈlɪŋgyuəl/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[bahy-ling-gwuhl or, Can., -ling-gyoo-uhl] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –adjective

1.	able to speak two languages with the facility of a native speaker.

2.	spoken, written, or containing similar information in two different languages: a bilingual dictionary; Public notices at the embassy are bilingual.

3.	of, involving, or using two languages: a bilingual community; bilingual schools.

–noun

4.	a bilingual person.

Bilingual education is something I am very much interested in.
As you know I study Indonesian as a second language at uni, and have been since 1999. I have found that being bilingual is very rewarding, it extends your knowledge in two languages, and can also give you a bigger cultural awareness.

This has inspired me to create a new blog. This blog is designed for people who are bilingual to practice their languages. If you're bilingual I invite you to comment in this post and I'll sign you up. I've already sent invites out to a few people!

Even if you're not bilingual, head on over and check it out - you may learn something!!

THE BILINGUAL BLOG

How many South Australians does it take to change a light globe?

On the weekend my bedroom light globe blew.

On monday we went for a walk to Strath Village to get new light bulbs. A phone call from my mum on the way back means that I discover she has already indeed bought light bulbs for me and they're under the sink. We now have a diverse abundance of light bulbs.

Anyway I am still sitting here in the darkness and mercy of lamps. I tried to get the dead globe out, but it seems that it is stuck in there like glue. After much trying to get it out, Claire has a go. After all my trying, and now Claires trying, the light is now dangling from the roof, with roughly 20cm of cords coming out of the roof.

So we've asked the boys around the corner to come and have a look. One of which is South Australian.

If you can make up a funny joke in response to the title of this blog, comment it here! You may win a prize!

The adventures of Steff, Sammy and Australia Post

This evening Steff and I decided to go on an adventure to the post office down on the corner. Well, it was actually a compulsary trip: my mum needing her jacket, and I needing to post it before 6, Steff coming along for this adventure.

We got the forms all signed, postage paid for, and the lady told us to go and put it in the post box outside (it being rather large), and to stuff it in.

So it is pouring down with rain (we've had 20mm since 9am), and I am outside trying to stuff a rather large parcel into a small hole. I thought I had success, and then, try to close the hatch, and it wont go down, and I can't get it back out! How embarrasing!

Went and got the lady, and told her it was stuck, and we left (after making a run for the car in the freezing cold rain!) when she was trying to fix it!

Just hope mum gets her jacket!

Sulawesi now??

On the 24th of April, I blogged about a possible job opportunity in Bandung, Indonesia. I am blogging today to tell you... I haven't heard back from the lady, and it has been over a month.

But that's ok, because a very exciting opportunity came up today.

A guy who used to be an Indonesian lecturer at uni (before I started, he now works with ressie services, and also happens to be a christian) turned up at our last Indonesian class for the semester today. He began to talk about a trip to Sulawesi, Indonesia the uni is running at the end of the year. After the bali bombings, and the various dramas following, trips to Indonesia were stopped by schools and universities. Until now, and I have the chance to be involved. The more he talked about it the more and more I wanted to go!

Some info

• 27 days from November 27 to December 23
• Spend time in the capital of Sulawesi: Kendari (pop about 200,000)
  
• Stay with lecturers or other families
• Attend Indonesian language and cultural classes
• Go on excursions and activities with Indonesian 'buddy'.
• Visit an Indonesian villiage 2 hours from the capital, called Lambuya.
• Stay with local villagers (sure.. 5 star accomodation!)
• Teach about Australian culture and english language at primary and secondary schools
• Helping villagers in rice fields (wahahahah! I love rice!)
• Identifying future community development possibilities
• Visiting a national park
• Go on a boat to a tropical island paradise
  
• snorkelling
• swimming
• a hotel!
• relaxing!

Agh! I so want to go. The experience would be rewarding, something I can put on my CV, an unforgettable experience!

There are barriers though, finances being one. But if God wants this, He will provide. Maybe I'll sell my car, or be a little more realistic and get a job.

Some people may get a little judgemental that I am not going with a christian organisation, as a 'missionary'. But I treat my whole life as a mission. The people I meet, the places I go. Even though 'officially' I am not on a 'mission', really, every day of my life, is a mission!

truk

Today I feel as though I have been hit by a truck.

Yesterday was a very productive day. I did the washing, sorted through my clothes, put things in my lesson plan folder, rearranged my room, and went to Mez's parents house for tea (Mez wasn't there).

None of this, however, was very academic, and I need to get a bit done before uni starts up again for me tomorrow.

Moving all of this furniture has really taken it out of me. At 10pm last night I was on my computer, and felt as though I needed to just go to bed. I was going, and then I only got as far as the floor, and curled up in front of the fan heater on the floor next to me. I woke up at 11:30 to find myself still there, and the whole right side mf my body was numb (I was sleeping on my side.)

I woke up at 10am, meaning I didn't go to church, and felt like a truck had hit me. How do you recover from this? When every muscle and bone in your body hurts? Does this mean I'm unfit or what?

In other news, my room is rather interesting now that it has been re arranged. I can't sit at my desk on the net anymore, I have to sit at my dressing table, or on my bed. Hopefully now I will get more work done. How cute do my 'pets' look?

In other OTHER news: look what I got at K-mart today with Linda:

Yes, George is back! And this time, bigger, and better. Let's see how long this one lasts ;)

ya berantakan!

I've tried and tried and I can't do it!!

Today is spring cleaning day (Although I am fully aware that it is indeed autumn).

The events of today include:
doing the dishes
drying the dishes
doing washing
sorting out washing
Cleaning the fish tank (hi Cara)
re arranging my room (yipee!)
Going through my clothes and getting rid of the ones I don't wear any more.

And when I mean I'm getting rid of them, that means that you, Beyond South Australia readers have a great chance to get some clothes - FOR FREE! Yes, that's right - FREE! If you see anything you like, just comment in this post or email or phone me within the next week, and it's yours! What's left is either going to the op shop or I'll sell on ebay.

These clothes include:

• Jay jays denim jacket - size 14
• Millers elastic waist kahki skirt - size 18
• Millers elastic waist purple skirt - size 18
• Jay Jays purple flowery V-neck tee - size XL
• "Go aussie" oldschool brown mens tee - size L? (got it for $2 at an op shop)
• Jay Jays B-Star tee with a collar, brown with blue stripes, punk writing on the back - size XL
• Long sleeve black target collar top - Size 16
• Planet Shakers 2005 brown tee with pink and white logo - size 16
• brown wollen jumper with roll-kneck collar (very warm). The only reason I am getting rid of this is because I accidently washed it with warm water and it shrunk. It has sentimental value (my gran gave it to me) - wanting to give it to a good home. - probably a size 10 now.
• Mint Lions 1972 tee - size 16
• Crossroads strawberry singlet - size XL
• Home made christian fish black tank top - size XL
• Black four and twenty top. It has yellow writing on the front saying "the great australian taste" and on the back saying "hungry?" It also has the four and twenty logo on the sleeves.
• White V neck "fashion targets breast cancer Australia" tee - size 14
• White collar top from K-mart, home made "go the fro" on the back.
• Jay Jays mens white board shorts with grey and pink skull and cross decorations. Very punk. - size "38"
• Pale pink jay jays long sleeved top with diamonds. Looks like theres a long sleeved top underneath. - size XL

Let me know!

selesai

Here is to the shortest three weeks of my life! It seems just yesterday I was the innocent little student teacher stepping into a classroom full of grade ratty 3/4's.

Today my teaching prac finished.

There are a lot of mixed emotions going on in my mind. Part of me just wants to break down and cry. In fact I'm surprised that I haven't yet. I spent the whole drive home feeling really down. My body is telling me I need some much needed rest - with 2 hours of sleeping this afternoon. I'm a little confused as to why I feel a little emotionless and down.

This morning the kids made me a card (pictured). They weren't exactly subtle about it: "Miss Smedley, what's your favorite colour?... Miss Smedley, how do you spell your name?" Then I had to walk around the class room pretending I didn't know what was going on. Two more students made me a card each in their spare time. Funnily enough they are the two I talked about in my last post. Another made me a picture of a banana flavoured drink. (random!)

At the end of the day, one girl hugged me begging me not to go. The boys all gave me a high 5.

I still haven't found my name badge. I simply don't know where it has gone. Apparently I was telling Claire that I was putting it somewhere safe. The kids haven't known how to spell my name, or even my name full stop. I put it up on the board yesterday, and they had thought I was 'Miss Medley' (I guess the 's' kind of 'blends').

I have learnt a lot on this prac. I have learnt how to yell. I have learnt how to teach PE. I have gained a whole heap more confidence.

"Sometimes home is a refuge from school.
Sometimes school is a refuge from home.
Sometimes there is no refuge."

This prac has been one of the most heart breaking for me. I have not cried like I did on tuesday night for a very long time. It was about one of the girls in the previous post. I hurted so much for her. And although I felt so alone, I think that in a way I was crying God's tears too, as these things do break His heart. Perhaps I took it on board too much, but honestly, it did break my heart. But the thing is, she's not the only one with this problem. It affects so many kids out there.

When I went to Indonesia in 2002, I saw a poverty stricken community that I wanted to help. Sometimes you have to experience these things to realise the need there. Like Indonesia, this experience has unleashed something in me: I want to help these kids.

There is the small possibility I may be able to go back out to the school. I gave the teacher my email.

In other news, I'm thinking of doing ESL (English as a second language) teaching instead of IT next year. Tell me what you think.

pemisahan

Nine years ago I was in year 4. The year was 1996. When the bell rang one day for everybody to go home, the teacher asked me to stay behind. Now this puzzled me as I had done nothing wrong.

She sat me on her knee, and told me that she knew what I was going through, and that if I ever needed someone to talk to, to just talk to her. At the time I was really puzzled, because I wasn't 100% sure what was really going on.

But soon I would find out what it would be. Divorce. It affects so many kids today. So many are caught in the middle, and many parents don't know how to deal with it. Often parents do not see the actual affects it will have on a child. I think that my anxiety could be as a result of some childhood traumas caused as a result of divorce.

Now in this day and age, that wouldn't be able to do that. But I left that classroom grinning, knowing that she cared. And the day she left the school, I cried myself to sleep. That's all kids often need: is someone to care.

Today, I was faced with a similar situation, except now it is nine years on, and I am at the 'other end'. I am a teacher. Things are different from back then, and my relationship with students needs to be maintained at an upmostly professional level, especially seeing as I am only a student teacher, and at the end of the week, my practicum finishes.

Child 1: "Miss Smedley, I'm sad today."
Miss Smedley: "Oh, how come?" (Not expecting an all too serious answer)
Child 1: "Oh, because my Mum moved out last night..."
Miss Smedley: *something along the lines of "oh, that's not so good"*
Child 2: "Miss Smedley, Did Mr. *teacher* tell you?"
Miss Smedley: "... no..."
Child 2: "Yeah, I'm always sad and depressed, because my parents aren't together either..."
Miss Smedley: (without thinking) "Oh yeah, that happened to me at your age too..."

I kinda just walked away from that conversation, because realistically, what can I do? I don't know the policy on that kind of stuff, and by me saying what I said probably overstepped the line. Especially after that she went around saying, "hey guess what, Miss Smedley is just like me!"

And my teaching prac ends this week. I want to help but don't know how I can. The kid didn't even have lunch. I just hate seeing kids stuck in the middle of a split.

There needs to be help for kids, but also for parents. Parents need to be equipped to make sure their kids don't get stuck in the middle. I know my parents cared, but I don't think they knew how to really deal with it. They were both from families that were together, and hadn't experienced this before.

And all in all, God has his healing hands over his children. This is something I'm going to find wherever I go.

celupan

I was cleaning the house today, and while cleaning. I unfortunately did not find my La Trobe student teacher badge. I did, however find some hair dye. 3 lots, which would be enough to dye my hair (as my hair is long and thick).

The catch is, they were not all the same colour:

My mum is coming to visit today, so I thought I'd give her a bit of a shock. And I also thought it would be fun to do an experiment.

Here are the three colours out of the packet:
And here are the three colours mixed together:

Here's a 'before' shot:

...and here's an 'after' shot:

What do you think? I think I could have done better. I'm glad I can hide under my new hat. Maybe I'll go another colour soon. Something outrageous, like black or purple.

Last time I dyed my hair was back in December with Steff. We used an 8 wash dye, and it still hadn't come out! Next time Steff and I are going raven red! (Aren't we Steff? Aren't we!)

takberistiri

Lately there have been a few posts by a few of 'my kind'. (Aliens among you and Here's to singularity and not feeling like the meat tray.) Quite honestly, I have began to feel a little like an alien, like I don't fit in, that I'm 'different'.

Like Sus says, I don't doubt their happiness and I don't think they are doing the wrong thing. And like Spatch says, I'm not jelous.

I'm just single. And I have been for three months.

And I am perfectly content with that at this point of my life. I am seeing my relationship with God go to new depths and heights, and there are some parts of this that I really like. I have my days where I am over it, and then the days where I really am the most content girl in the world.

I didn't really understand this aspect whilst I was in a relationship. But there is a lot of pressure for christians who arent in relationships. I never imagined that I would go through the struggles I would. Friendships I thought would never change have. I struggle going to church where everybody is coupled up, and I feel as though I don't have a lot in common any more. I think that this is an issue of Socialising vs. Fellowship. The church (on the whole) has become a bit of a dating service. And this frustrates me! Because that's not what I'm there for!

But with that, it has opened up new doors of opportunity, and brought me very close to a lovely girl who goes by the name of Mez. We have quite a lot in common, and I have been blessed by her friendship (and her family have adopted me!), a friendship which has really grown in the short time we've really gotten to know her. The catch is, she lives in Ballarat.

My friend Cara (I think you can thank Trav for this one) once gave me an illustration. She said on the train line to Bendigo to Melbourne, Bendigo is just starting a relationship, Melbourne is marriage. Whilst everyone seems to be in Sunbury, I seem to have taken a detour and am lost in South Australia some where.

My values have really changed. I believe love is a choice, but it is also our choice on how we act on it, and what motivates us. I also believe that I need patience to wait on God, as he is the only one that can fufill the desires of my heart. I am wanting God to lead me, for Him to be the center of the choices, and for my heart to just run after Him and to keep my eyes fixed on Him. It's all very exciting about what the future has in store.

Motives are very important. I don't want to enter a relationship with a "what can I get" attitude. I want the motives to be very God-driven. What are my motives for entering a relationship?

In fact, I was contemplating the other day as I was driving home from school at 10:30 in the morning (stupid cold!), I was wondering what life would be like if I was single for the rest of my life? Would that be such a bad thing?

Trust. There is no 'long distance relationship' with God.

Although, I don't think that's quite me. Part of me wants to get married, have kids, and start generations of kids who are going to change the world. Just not yet!

lahir lagi

I was sitting with some girls today while they did some catch up work, and this is what one of them said:

"I'm so angry. Everyone in my family was born in Geelong except me, I was born in Bendigo. Hmmmph. Next time I'm born, I'm going to be born in Japan!"
One of the girls corrected her: "You can't be born again.."
Another one added: "Yes you can! You can be born again.."

What an interesting discussion that could have turned into if it progressed any further...